Ilya Ilf quotes

Everyone drank to popular education and to the irrigation of Uzbekistan.
-- Ilya Ilf

#Uzbekistan #Irrigation #Drank

California is the most reactionary state in America. Fascist sentiments are very strong here.
-- Ilya Ilf

#Strong #California #America

Americans don't like to waste time on stupid things, for example, on the torturous process of coming up with names for their towns. And really, why strain yourself when so many wonderful names already exist in the world?The entrance to the town of Moscow is shown in the photograph. That's right, an absolutely authentic Moscow, just in the state of Ohio, not in the USSR in Moscow province.There's another Moscow in some other state, and yet another Moscow in a third state. On the whole, every state has the absolute right to have its very own Moscow.
-- Ilya Ilf

#Stupid #Ohio #Names

Maybe love is thinking that every time your partner does or says something mundane that you want to start a Mexican wave from here to Uzbekistan in utter delight.

Americans are just about the worst at dealing with long-term problems, down there with Uzbekistan, but they respond to a market signal better than almost anyone. They roll the dice bigger and quicker than most.

There was no child oncology in Uzbekistan and in Russia you don't have a chance because there are already so many on the waiting lists.

The minister expressed appreciation for the offer, and our embassy in Uzbekistan will be following up in more detail with them

On the day he had colonic irrigation: 'I feel I lost my virginity that day in so many ways.'

Z is for Zillah who drank too much gin.

Someone threw a petrol bomb at Alex Higgins once and he drank it!

I knew when I was diagnosed with cancer the only thing I could control was what I ate, what I drank and what I would think.

I had a lousy marriage and I drank too much.

I'm afraid my glass is no longer half full because I drank most of it.