Jon Gabrus quotes

I'm just used to leaving and being like, "I feel like I wasted their time and I definitely wasted my own time." I often leave auditions thinking that that person is now permanently mad at me.
-- Jon Gabrus

#Thinking #Mad #Leaving

I feel like a lot of people talk about in rom-coms, there's the female best friend. There's all those archetypes in rom-coms. But even among a movie about man-children hanging out, there is always the one who's often the fat one, often the one with the beard, who is like the man-childest of them all. He's the one that eventually meets the fat girl or the quirky girl of the girl group of friends and really hits it off.
-- Jon Gabrus

#Girl #Children #Men

To improv-nerd-out for a second, it's like the most aggressive yes-anding you can do - if someone's like, "Yeah, you're super thin, right?" And you just pull that into a character and do seven more episodes of the podcast and remember to bring that up.
-- Jon Gabrus

#Character #Nerd #Remember

eah, you don't get a lot of meatheads doing improvised theater to begin with, and that's always been my thing. I talk about the nerd/meathead dichotomy on my podcast a lot, but there was a time when I was doing UCB full-time and playing men's league rugby in New York City, and I was like the funniest, artsiest rugby player, and the bro-iest improv comedian. I've always managed to sort of be in both sides.
-- Jon Gabrus

#New York #Player #Men

I came to the realization that I started dating my now-wife junior year of college, before you actually went on a date. You didn't take girls from college out to dinner. I've never been on a date. I've never been on a date where I didn't know the end game. I've never casually dated someone. I've only been out to dinner with the woman who would eventually be my wife.
-- Jon Gabrus

#Girl #College #Years

There are some women and a lot of dudes who are into my look, but I need to convey that I'm funny ahead of time. That's how I got laid. Every girl I've ever been with is because I was funny, not because they were into a 300-pound bearded, pale dudes.
-- Jon Gabrus

#Girl #Needs #Looks

Tumblr has a big community of bears and bear chasers. All my favorites on Tumblr and all the fan mail I get is all like, "We want to tickle you! What size shoe are you?" They're all like really big, heavyset, bearded guys who are like, "I want to ride your face like a motorcycle!"
-- Jon Gabrus

#Shoes #Community #Guy

A quotation is a handy thing to have about, saving one the trouble of thinking for oneself, always a laborious business.

I don't think that when Zionism began there was a claim that we were losing - even in part - our capacity to contribute to other peoples.

Some people are ok with doing nothing all day after they retire, but then some people if they had nothing to do would go mad and start banging their heads against a wall. .

In a mad world, only the mad are sane.

If one were to take the bible seriously one would go mad. But to take the bible seriously, one must be already mad.

If success had come along when I was 17 it would either have killed me or sent me completely mad.

What makes my father different is the fact that he calls himself mad.

Is it mad to pray for better hallucinations?

The human mind is a powerful thing in many ways, but in others it's endlessly fragile—it takes only a single moment of pure terror to tear a hole in it, like a finger through a cobweb, leaving you forever just a shadow, a half-person.

I love leaving the house in a new outfit; I don't feel the pressure at all.