Marshall B. Rosenberg quotes
-
“Every criticism, judgment, diagnosis, and expression of anger is the tragic expression of an unmet need.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
“All violence is the result of people tricking themselves into believing that their pain derives from other people and that consequently those people deserve to be punished.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
“Your presence is the most precious gift you can give to another human being.”
-- Marshall B. RosenbergSource : Marshall B. Rosenberg (2004). “Teaching Children Compassionately: How Students and Teachers Can Succeed with Mutual Understanding”, p.31, PuddleDancer Press
-
“When our communication supports compassionate giving and receiving, happiness replaces violence and grieving.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
-
“The most dangerous of all behaviors may consist of doing things 'because we're supposed to.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
“Empathy is a respectful understanding of what others are experiencing. Instead of offering empathy, we often have a strong urge to give advice or reassurance and to explain our own position or feeling. Empathy, however, calls upon us to empty our mind and listen to others with our whole being.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
“If we want to be compassionate we must be conscious of the words we use. We must both speak and listen from the heart.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
“When you ride the wave, the thrill is so exhilarating that you forget everything else. You live in the moment where nothing else matters, so intent on riding the wave perfectly that you and the wave become one. Pain and worry disappear, replaced by euphoria, akin to flow. Similarly, when giving empathy, you want to strive for this kind of total presence for the person you are listening to.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
-
“The objective of Nonviolent Communication is not to change people and their behavior in order to get our way: it is to establish relationships based on honesty and empathy, which will eventually fulfill everyone's needs.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
“Empathy lies in our ability to be present without opinion.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
“We are never angry because of what others say or do. It is our thinking that makes us angry.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg#Communication Quotes #Thinking Quotes #Nonviolent Communication Quotes
-
“Punishment is the root of violence on our planet.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
-
“Whether I praise or criticize someone's action, I imply that I am their judge, that I'm engaged in rating them or what they have done.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
“At the core of all anger is a need that is not being fulfilled.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
“Violence comes from the belief that other people cause our pain and therefore deserve punishment.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
“To practice the process of conflict resolution, we must completely abandon the goal of getting people to do what we want.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
-
“Never question the beauty of what you are saying because someone reacts with pain, judgment, criticism. It just means they have not heard you.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
“Blaming and punishing others are superficial expressions of anger.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
“When we focus on clarifying what is being observed, felt, and needed rather than on diagnosing and judging, we discover the depth of our own compassion.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
“It's never what people do that makes us angry; it's what we tell ourselves about what they did.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
-
“Use the words "I feel because I" to remind us that what we feel it isn't because of what the other person did, but because of a choice I've made.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
“When we judge others we contribute to violence.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
“It may be most difficult to empathize with those we are closest to.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
“Empathizing with someone's 'no' protects us from taking it personally.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
-
“The Chinese philosopher Chuang-Tzu stated that true empathy requires listening with the whole being: The hearing that is only in the ears is one thing. The hearing of the understanding is another. But the hearing of the spirit is not limited to any one faculty, to the ear, or to the mind. Hence it demands the emptiness of all the faculties. And when the faculties are empty, then the whole being listens. There is then a direct grasp of what is right there before you that can never be heard with the ear or understood with the mind.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
“Often, instead of offering empathy, we have a strong urge to give advice or reassurance and to explain our own position or feeling.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
“Compliments and praise, for their part, are tragic expressions of fulfilled needs”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
“Depression is the reward we get for being 'good'.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg#Communication Quotes #Rewards Quotes #Nonviolent Communication Quotes
-
-
“People heal from their pain when they have an authentic connection with another human being.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
“How I choose to look at any situation will greatly affect whether I have the power to change it or make matters worse.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
“If you are a czar or a king or a president or someone that wants to control those below them you do not want people to have a consciousness of life, of their needs. Because people do not make good slaves when they're connected to life... That's why in the public schools the primary objective is obedience to authority.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
“Every message, regardless of form or content, is an expression of a need.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
-
“What others do may be the stimulus of our feelings, but never the cause.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
“We are responsible for what we hear other people say and for how we act.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
“We use NVC to evaluate ourselves in ways that engender growth rather than self-hatred.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
“People do not hear our pain when they believe they are at fault.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
-
“At the root of every tantrum and power struggle are unmet needs.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
“Learning is too precious to be motivated by coercive tactics.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
“When we understand the needs that motivate our own and others behavior, we have no enemies.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
“Imagine connecting with the human spirit in each person in any situation at any time. Imagine interacting with others in a way that allows everyone's need to be equally valued. Imagine creating organizations and life-serving systems responsive to our needs and the needs of our environment.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
-
“Expressing our vulnerability can help resolve conflicts.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
“Fear of punishment diminishes self-esteem and goodwill.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg#Self Esteem Quotes #Communication Quotes #Punishment Quotes
-
“Don't hate the circumstance, you may miss the blessing”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
“Always listen to what people need rather than what they are thinking about us.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
-
“Anger is a signal that you're distracted by judgmental or punitive thinking, and that some precious need of yours is being ignored.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg#Communication Quotes #Thinking Quotes #Being Ignored Quotes
-
“We can't win at somebody else's expense. We can only fully be satisfied when the other person's needs are fulfilled as well as our own.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
“NVC suggests behind every action, however ineffective, tragic, violent, or abhorrent to us, is an attempt to meet a need.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
“I wouldn't expect someone who's been injured to hear my side until they felt that I had fully understood the depth of their pain.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
-
“Intellectual understanding blocks empathy.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
“While we may not consider the way we talk to be 'violent,' our words often lead to hurt and pain, whether for others or for ourselves.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
“Peace requires something far more difficult than revenge or merely turning the other cheek; it requires empathizing with the fears and unmet needs that provide the impetus for people to attack each other. Being aware of these feelings and needs, people lose their desire to attack back because they can see the human ignorance leading to these attacks; instead, their goal becomes providing the empathic connection and education that will enable them to transcend their violence and engage in cooperative relationships.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
“To practice NVC, it's critical for me to be able to slow down, take my time, to come from an energy I choose, the one I believe that we were meant to come from, not the one I was programmed into.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
-
“Children need far more than basic skills in reading, writing, and math, as important as those might be. Children also need to learn how to think for themselves, how to find meaning in what they learn, and how to work and live together.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
“We are dangerous when we are not conscious of our responsibility for how we behave, think, and feel.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
“You can't make your kids do anything. All you can do is make them wish they had. And then, they will make you wish you hadn't made them wish they had.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
“Our goal is to create a quality of empathic connection that allows everyone's needs to be met.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
-
“We only feel dehumanized when we get trapped in the derogatory images of other people or thoughts of wrongness about ourselves. As author and mythologist Joseph Campbell suggested, "'What will they think of me?' must be put aside for bliss." We begin to feel this bliss when messages previously experienced as critical or blaming begin to be seen for the gifts they are: opportunities to give to people who are in pain.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
“Ask before offering advice or reassurance.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
“Labeling and diagnosis is a catastrophic way to communicate. Telling other people what's wrong with them greatly reduces, almost to zero, the probability that we're going to get what we're after.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
“When we hear the other person's feelings and needs, we recognize our common humanity.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
-
“Anger tells us we've disconnected from life. The purpose in anger is to use it to come back to life.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
“Two things distinguish nonviolent actions from violent actions. First, you don't see an enemy and second, your intention is not to make the other side suffer.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
“I think that there is a problem with rewards and consequences because in the long run, they rarely work in the ways we hope. In fact, they are likely to backfire.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
“Everything we do is in service of our needs. When this one concept is applied to our view of others, we'll see that we have no real enemies, that what others do to us is the best possible thing they know to do to get their needs met.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
-
“You'll find people less threatening if you hear what they're needing rather than what they're thinking about you.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
“My need is for safety, fun and to have distribution of resources, a sustainable life on the planet. NVC is a strategy that serves me to meet these needs.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
“Most of us grew up speaking a language that encourages us to label, compare, demand, and pronounce judgments rather than to be aware of what we are feeling and needing.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
“Praise and reward create a system of extrinsic motivations for behavior. Children (and adults) end up taking action in order to receive the praise or rewards.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
-
“Four D's of Disconnection: 1. Diagnosis (judgment, analysis, criticism, comparison); 2. Denial of Responsibility; 3. Demand; 4. 'Deserve' oriented language.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg#Communication Quotes #Responsibility Quotes #Criticism Quotes
-
“I believe that the most joyful and intrinsic motivation human beings have for taking any action is the desire to meet our needs and the needs of others.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
“If I'm using Nonviolent Communication I never, never, never hear what somebody thinks about me. Never hear what somebody thinks about you, you'll live longer. You'll enjoy life more. Hear the truth. The truth is that when somebody's telling you what's wrong with you, the truth is they have a need that isn't getting met. Hear that they're in pain. Don't hear the analysis.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
“My anger tells me firstly that there's a need of mine that's not getting met.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
-
“When we have our consciousness on needs, images come to us, naturally, of how to meet those needs.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
“My ultimate goal is to spend as many of my moments in life as I can in that world that the poet Rumi talks about, 'a place beyond rightness and wrongness.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
“I never have to worry about another person's response, only how I react to what they say.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
“Once you can clearly describe what you are reacting to, free of your interpretation or evaluation of it, other people are less likely to be defensive when they hear it.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
-
“When we are in contact with our feelings and needs, we humans no longer make good slaves and underlings.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
“Teacher, school administrators and parents will come away from Life-Enriching Education with skills in language, communication, and ways of structuring the learning environment that support the development of autonomy and interdependence in the classroom.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
“NVC can be effectively applied at all levels of communication and in diverse situations: intimate relationships, families, schools, organizations and institutions, therapy and counseling, diplomatic and business negotiations, disputes and conflicts of any nature.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
“There are the two main reasons we don't get our needs met. First, we don't know how to express our needs to begin with and second if we do, we forget to put a clear request after it, or we use vague words like appreciate, listen, recognize, know, be real, and stuff like that.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
-
“Public education for some time has been heavily focused on what curricula we believe will be helpful to students. Life-Enriching Education is based on the premise that the relationship between teachers and students, the relationships of students with one another, and the relationships of students to what they are learning are equally important in preparing students for the future.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
“When we express our needs indirectly through the use of evaluations, interpretations, and images, others are likely to hear criticism. When people hear anything that sounds like criticism, they tend to invest their energy in self-defense or counterattack. It's important that when we address somebody that we're clear what we want back.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
“Every moment each human being is doing the best we know at that moment to meet our needs. We never do anything that is not in the service of a need, there is no conflict on our planet at the level of needs. We all have the same needs. The problem is in strategies for meeting the needs.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
“As NVC replaces our old patterns of defending, withdrawing or attacking in the face of judgment and criticism. We come to perceive ourselves and others, as well as our intentions and relationships, in a new light. Resistance, defensiveness, and violent reactions are minimized.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
-
“Conventional compliments often take the form of judgments however positive, and are sometimes offered to manipulate the behavior of others. NVC encourages the expression of appreciation solely for celebration.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg#Appreciation Quotes #Communication Quotes #Expression Quotes
-
“The number one reason that we don't get our needs met, we don't express them. We express judgments. If we do express needs, the number two reasons we don't our needs met, we don't make clear requests.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
“Clinical training in psychoanalysis has a deficit. It teaches how to sit and think about what a person is saying and how to interpret it intellectually, but not how to be fully present to this person.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
“When we make mistakes, we can use the process of NVC mourning and self-forgiveness to show us where we can grow instead of getting caught up in moralistic self-judgments.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
-
“NVC is interested in learning that is motivated by reverence for life, by a desire to learn skills, to contribute better to our own well-being and the well-being of others.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
“Power-Over leads to punishment and violence. Power-With leads to compassion and understanding, and to learning motivated by reverence for life rather than fear, guilt, shame, or anger.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
“If we ask two questions, we will see that punishment never works. First: What do we want the other person to do? Second: What do we want the other person's reasons to be for doing as we request?”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
“Violence in any form is a tragic expression of our unmet needs.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
-
“Let’s shine the light of consciousness on places where we can hope to find what we are seeking.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
“Never give advice to your children unless you have it in writing and notarized.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
“Before we tackle the gangs and the basic story, we have to make sure that we have liberated ourselves from how we have been educated and make sure we are coming from a spirituality of our own choosing.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
“Some people use NVC to respond compassionately to themselves, some to create greater depth in their personal relationships, and still others to build effective relationships at work or in the political arena. Worldwide, NVC is used to mediate disputes and conflicts at all levels.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
-
“We only feel dehumanized when we get trapped in the derogatory images of other people or thoughts of wrongness about ourselves.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
“You're going to lose it when you follow the world "feel" with the words "because I think". Any time you are thinking, your chance of getting what you need is greatly decreased, especially when you follow the word "think" with the word "you". I predict you won't only not get heard, but I predict a defensive aggressive reaction.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
“The only time a message (label) can scare us is if we think there is such a thing, and that such a thing is a disgrace.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
“The most important use of NVC may be in developing self-compassion.”
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg -
You may also like:
-
Adele Faber
Author -
Alfie Kohn
Author -
Arun Manilal Gandhi
Activist -
Barry Manilow
Singer-songwriter -
Byron Katie
Author -
Carl Rogers
Psychologist -
Eckhart Tolle
Author -
Harville Hendrix
Author -
Jack Kornfield
Author -
John M. Gottman
Professor -
Jon Kabat-Zinn
Professor -
Miguel Angel Ruiz
Author -
Nhat Hanh
Monk -
Paul Watzlawick
Psychologist -
Peter A. Levine
Author -
Riane Eisler
Writer -
Steve de Shazer
Author -
Tara Brach
Psychologist -
Thomas Gordon
Psychologist -
Walter Wink
Activist