George Mikes Quotes and Sayings - Page 1
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“The man who is not afraid of danger is not a hero, but a psychopath.”
-- George Mikes -
“You must not refuse any additional cups of tea under the following circumstances: if it is hot; if it is cold; if you are tired; if anybody thinks that you might be tired; if you are nervous; if you are gay; before you go out; if you are out; if you have just returned home; if you feel like it; if you do not feel like it; if you have had no tea for some time; if you have just had a cup.”
-- George Mikes -
“You can keep a dog: but it is the cat who keeps people, because cats find humans useful domestic animals.”
-- George Mikes -
“Many Continentals think life is a game; the English think cricket is a game.”
-- George MikesSource : 1946 How to be an Alien.
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“A dog will flatter you but you have to flatter the cat.”
-- George Mikes -
“An Englishman, even if he is alone, forms an orderly queue of one.”
-- George MikesSource : 'How to be an Alien' (1946) p. 44
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“It was decided almost two hundred years ago that English should be the language spoken in the United States. It is not known, however, why this decision has not been carried out.”
-- George Mikes -
“When people say England, they sometimes mean Great Britain, sometimes the United Kingdom, sometimes the British Isles, - but never England.”
-- George Mikes -
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“Travel' is the name of a modern disease which became rampant in themid-fifties and is still spreading. The disease - its scientific name is travelitis furiosus - is carried by a germ called prosperity.”
-- George Mikes -
“Television is of great educational value. It teaches you while still young how to (a) kill, (b) rob, (c) embezzle, (d) shoot, (e) poison, and, generally speaking, (f) how to grow up into a Wild West outlaw or gangster by the time you leave school.”
-- George MikesSource : George Mikes (1986). “How to be a Brit: The Classic Bestselling Guide”, p.142, Penguin UK
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“I have often thought that the aim of port is to give you a good and durable hangover, so that during the next day you should be reminded of the splendid occasion the night before.”
-- George MikesSource : John Bunyan, John Stachniewski, Anita Pacheco (1998). “Grace Abounding with Other Spiritual Autobiographies”, p.274, Oxford University Press, USA
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“English humor resembles the Loch Ness Monster in that both are famous but there is a strong suspicion that neither exists.”
-- George MikesSource : George Mikes (2016). “English Humour for Beginners”, p.7, Penguin UK
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“In England the boy pats his adored one on the back and says softly, "I don't object, you know." If he is quite mad with passion, he may add: "I rather fancy you, in fact.”
-- George Mikes -
“People on the Continent either tell you the truth or lie; in England they hardly ever lie, but they would not dream of telling you the truth.”
-- George Mikes -
“Once you start buying first aid kits you start having accidents.”
-- George Mikes -
“On the Continent stray cats are judged individually on their merit-some are loved, some are only respected; in England they are universally worshipped as in ancient Egypt.”
-- George Mikes -
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“What beefsteak is to Argentina, flamenco to Spain, cool reserve and self-control in all situations to an Englishman, what vodka is to a Russian and beer to a Bavarian, what money is to a Swiss, that is outdoor-life to an Australian. It is a noble mania, better than vodka, better than cool reserve, better than money.”
-- George Mikes -
“The Art of Conversation could not die in Australia; it never lived. Television did not kill it; there was nothing there to kill.”
-- George Mikes -
“'I don't say a Zionist must be insane,' said President Weizmann, 'but it helps if he is.'”
-- George Mikes -
“I said in my earlier book, and find no reason for retracting my statement, that the famous Jewish sense of humour got lost in transit to Israel.”
-- George Mikes -
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“It is often said that the Japanese are extremely clean at home, or inside any house or office, but dirty and untidy outside. 'Go and look at a railway station,' I was told, 'and you'll be horrified.' I went and was horrified; horrified by the cleanliness of the place.”
-- George MikesSource : George Mikes (1970). “The land of the rising yen: Japan”, Harvard Common Press
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“The Japanese are human beings like the rest of us, but they will strongly resent this insinuation.”
-- George Mikes -
“Long before the word Zionism was uttered for the first time, old religious Jews came from all over the world to die in Jerusalem. It is the finest place to die in - it has always been acknowledged. It has a joie de mourir quite its own.”
-- George Mikes -
“The country has always been governed by a coalition but today it is governed by a so-called Grand Coalition which is a more polite word for all and sundry.”
-- George Mikes -
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“Bad English was the second language of Israel and bad Hebrew, of course, remained the national language.”
-- George Mikes -
“If it is gay, ribald and lascivious night-life you are after, Israel is not the place for you. The night clubs you do find are nearer in spirit to a YMCA than to dens of iniquity.”
-- George Mikes -
“Israelis keep teaching you your own business. God knows everything but the Israelis know everything better.”
-- George Mikes -
“Israel also deprived the world of its chance of shedding tears of genuine sympathy over her destruction. The world resents this; it likes to feel noble and sympathetic.”
-- George Mikes -
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“Rich people (in Australia) have swimming pools in their gardens but, at least, they do swim in them.”
-- George Mikes -
“On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners.”
-- George MikesSource : How to Be an Alien (1946)
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