Milton Berle Quotes and Sayings - Page 4

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“The Post Office is very careful nowadays. When they get a package marked "Fragile," they throw it underhand.”
-- Milton Berle

#Christmas #Office #Post Office
“My sister-in-law found a real surprise in her stockings - my brother.”
-- Milton Berle

#Christmas #Brother #Real
“One of those Christmas songs says, "You better not shout, you better not cry, you better not pout." How's my wife going to get along?”
-- Milton Berle

#Christmas #Song #Wife
“Our tree was so puny we used orthopedic bulbs.”
-- Milton Berle

#Christmas #Tree #Orthopedics
“She wanted an Italian sports car - with the sport still in it.”
-- Milton Berle

#Christmas #Sports #Italian
“At the Christmas party, the secretary with the long red hair ate three pickles, and four salesmen panicked.”
-- Milton Berle

#Christmas #Party #Hair
“In the suburbs it's hard to buy your Christmas gifts early in the year. You never know who your friends will be in December.”
-- Milton Berle

#Christmas #Years #December
“I made a terrible mistake last Christmas. My wife made me swear that I wouldn't give her a fancy gift. And I didn't.”
-- Milton Berle

#Christmas #Mistake #Giving
“I just bought a great gift for my boss - a leaky ant farm.”
-- Milton Berle

#Christmas #Boss #Ants
“Every year my boss used to give me a bottle of expensive brandy because I'd told him that my doctor suggested a drink once in a while. This year my boss gave me the name of a new doctor.”
-- Milton Berle

#Christmas #Doctors #Years

Top 25 Quotes By Milton Berle Of 123 A Z Quotes

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Milton Berle S Quote About Opportunity If Opportunity Doesn T Knock Build

Top 20 Milton Berle Quotes Positive Quotes Top Quotes Inspiration Positive Quotes Background

Milton Berle If Opportunity Doesn T Knock Build A Door

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