Gail Sheehy Quotes:

If we don't change, we don't grow. If we don't grow, we are not really living. Growth demands a temporary surrender of security. If we don't change, we don't grow. If we don't grow, we are not really living. Growth demands a temporary surrender of security.

Topics: Life, Growth, Demand, Inspirational Change, Embrace Change

Growth demands a temporary surrender of security.

Topics: Organization, Growth, Demand

Although there are many trial marriages... there is no such thing as a trial child.

Topics: Family, Children, Trials, Parenthood Funny, New Parents

To be tested is good. The challenged life may be the best therapist.

Topics: Life, Bad Day, Challenges, Having A Bad Day, Life Challenges

If every day is an awakening, you will never grow old. You will just keep growing.

source: - Gail Sheehy (2011). “New Passages: Mapping Your Life Across Time”, p.429, Ballantine Books

Topics: Growing, Awakening, Aging, Old You, Youthfulness

Transformation also means looking for ways to stop pushing yourself so hard professionally or inviting so much stress.

Topics: Inspirational, Stress, Mean

Whether one has natural talent or not, any learning period requires the willingness to suffer uncertainty and embarrassment.

source: - Gail Sheehy (2013). “Passages: Predictable Crises of Adult Life”, p.349, Penguin

Topics: Suffering, Talent, Natural

A seasoned woman is spicy. She has been marinated in life experiences. Like a complex wine, she can be alternately sweet, tart, sparkling, mellow. She is both maternal and playful. Assured, alluring, and resourceful.

source: - Gail Sheehy (2006). “Sex and the Seasoned Woman: Pursuing the Passionate Life”, Random House Incorporated

Topics: Sweet, Wine, Life Experience, Alluring, Sparkling

Phases of the creative process: Preparation-gathering impressions Incubation-letting go of certainties Immersion/Illumination-creative intervention/risk Revision-conscious structuring and editing of creative material.

Topics: Letting Go, Creativity, Editing, Immersion, Incubation

The work of adult life is not easy. As in childhood, each step presents not only new tasks of development but requires a letting go of the techniques that worked before. With each passage some magic must be given up, some cherished illusion of safety and comfortably familiar sense of self must be cast off, to allow for the greater expansion of our distinctiveness.

source: - Gail Sheehy (1977). “Passages: Predictable Crises of Adult Life”, Bantam

Topics: Letting Go, Safety, Childhood, Sense Of Self

You may never know when things start to go bad, but when things are worse you know it.

source: - Gail Sheehy (1971). “Speed is of the Essence”, Richmond Hill, Ont. : Simon & Schuster of Canada

Topics: May, Trouble

We must be willing to change chairs if we want to grow. There is no permanent compatibility between a chair and a person. And there is no one right chair. What is right at one stage may be restricting at another or too soft. During the passage from one stage to another, we will be between two chairs. Wobbling no doubt, but developing.

Topics: Growing Up, Doubt, Willing To Change, Compatibility

Frustration is the mother of risk.

Topics: Mother, Frustration, Risk

To hear how special and wonderful we are is endlessly enthralling.

Topics: Motivation, Special, Wonderful

The source of continuing aliveness was to find your passion and pursue it, with whole heart and single mind.

source: - Gail Sheehy (1995). “New Passages: Mapping Your Life Across Time”, Random House Canada

Topics: Passion, Heart, Enjoy Life

According to the prevailing mythology, to be younger is to be better; therefore, we should expect to find young people in the majority of those who reflect high well-being... In fact, the one finding that registered more consistently and emphatically than any other in the course of my research was this: Older is better.

Topics: People, Age, Facts, Prevailing

When you have self-respect, you have enough.

Topics: Self Esteem, Self Respect, Enough, I Respect You

The fundamental steps of expansion that will open a person, over time, to the full flowering of his or her individuality are the same for both genders. But men and women are rarely in the same place struggling with the same questions at the same age.

source: - Gail Sheehy (1977). “Passages: Predictable Crises of Adult Life”, Bantam

Topics: Struggle, Flower, Men

No sooner do we think we have assembled a comfortable life than we find a piece of ourselves that has no place to fit in.

source: - Gail Sheehy (2013). “Passages: Predictable Crises of Adult Life”, p.118, Penguin

Topics: Thinking, Self, Pieces, Comfortable Life

Changes are not only possible and predictable, but to deny them is to be an accomplice to one's own unnecessary vegetation.

Topics: Change, Unnecessary, Deny, Vegetation, Accomplices

Sex and older women used to be considered an oxymoron, rarely mentioned in the same breath.

Topics: Sex, Used, Oxymoron, Older Women

It is a paradox that as we reach out prime, we also see there is a place where it finishes.

Topics: Stars, Paradox, Prime

When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. Women go right on cooking.

Topics: Funny, Teacher, Witty, Inspirational Retirement, Retirement Farewell

Ah, mastery... what a profoundly satisfying feeling when one finally gets on top of a new set of skills... and then sees the light under the new door those skills can open, even as another door is closing.

source: - Gail Sheehy (2011). “New Passages: Mapping Your Life Across Time”, p.198, Ballantine Books

Topics: Skills, Light, Doors

Would that there were an award for people who come to understand the concept of enough. Good enough. Successful enough. Thin enough. Rich enough. Socially responsible enough. When you have self-respect, you have enough.

source: - "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

Topics: Successful, Awards, Self, I Respect You

The perceptions of middle age have their own luminosity.

Topics: Birthday, Perception, Age

The secret of a leader lies in the tests he has faced over the whole course of his life and the habit of action he develops in meeting those tests.

Topics: Inspirational, Leadership, Lying

There is no more defiant denial of one man's ability to possess one woman exclusively than the prostitute who refuses to redeemed.

Topics: Men, Denial, Ability, Courtesans, Redeemed

If we don't change, we don't grow. If we don't grow, we aren't really living.

Topics: Change, Wisdom, Really Living

Husbands come and go; children come and eventually they go. Friends grow up and move away. But the one thing that's never lost is your sister.

Topics: Sister, Children, Growing Up, Inspirational Sister, Inspirational Sisterhood

The delights of self-discovery are always available.

Topics: Caring, Discovery, Self

By listening, by caring, by playing you back to yourself, friends ratify your better instincts and endorse your unique worth. Friends validate you.

Topics: Friendship, Caring, Unique

My research offers impressive evidence that we feel better when we attempt to make our world better...to have a purpose beyond one's self lends to existence a meaning and direction - the most important characteristic of high well-being.

Topics: Feel Better, Self, Our World

The secret in the search for meaning is to find your passion and pursue it.

source: - Gail Sheehy (2011). “New Passages: Mapping Your Life Across Time”, p.153, Ballantine Books

Topics: Passion, Secret, Pursue

My mother had demonstrated that the best way to defeat the numbing ambivalence of middle age is to surprise yourself - by pulling off some cartwheel of thought or action never even imagined at a younger age.

Topics: Mother, Age, Way, Cartwheels, Numbing

As we reach midlife in the middle thirties or early forties, we are not prepared for the idea that time can run out on us, or for the startling truth that if we don't hurry to pursue our own definition of a meaningful existence, life can become a repetition of trivial maintenance duties.

source: - Gail Sheehy (1977). “Passages: Predictable Crises of Adult Life”, Bantam

Topics: Meaningful, Running, Ideas, Middle Ages

It is a silly question to ask a prostitute why she does it ... These are the highest-paid 'professional' women in America.

Topics: Silly, America, Doe

The one thing prostitution is not is a 'victimless crime.' It attracts a wide species of preying criminals and generates a long line of victims, beginning with the most obvious and least understood - the prostitute herself.

Topics: Long, Criminals, Lines, Long Lines

Leaders are people we as followers want to regard with awe as the fullest flowering of our own possibilities.

Topics: Leadership, People, Followers

Speed as a drug disorganizes the personality; speed as the goal of information dissemination commits a subtler crime. People are mainlining our words. We rarely read of the rational alternatives, only of the commands that all must change or else. This is a prescription for public panic.

Topics: People, Goal, Personality, Dissemination

The present never ages. Each moment is like a snowflake, unique, unspoiled, unrepeatable, and can be appreciated in its surprisingness.

source: - Gail Sheehy (2011). “New Passages: Mapping Your Life Across Time”, p.428, Ballantine Books

Topics: Unique, Age, Appreciated, Cherish Every Moment

If menopause is the silent passage, 'male menopause' is the unspeakable passage. It is fraught with secrecy, shame, and denial. It is much more fundamental than the ending of the fertile period of a woman's life, because it strikes at the core of what it is to be a man.

source: - "Male Menopause: New Book Argues Midlife Transition Is Just As Hard On Men" By Shelley Emling, www.huffingtonpost.com. November 7, 2012.

Topics: Men, Males, Denial, Menopause

A seasoned woman is spicy. She has been marinated in life experiences. Like a complex wine, she can be alternately sweet, tart, sparkling, mellow. She is both maternal and playful. Assured, alluring, and resourceful. She is less likely to have an agenda than a young woman-no biological clock tick-tocking beside her lover's bed, no campaign to lead him to the altar, no rescue fantasies. The seasoned woman knows who she is. She could be any one of us, as long a she is committed to living fully and passionately in the second half of her life, despite failures and false starts.

Topics: Sweet, Women, Wine

With the only certainty in our daily existence being change, and a rate of change growing always faster in a kind of technological leapfrog game, speed helps people think they are catching up.

Topics: Thinking, Games, People, Catching Up, Rate Of Change

With each passage of human growth we must shed a protective structure . We are left exposed and vulnerable - but also yeasty and embryonic again, capable of stretching in ways we hadn't known before.

source: - Gail Sheehy (1977). “Passages: Predictable Crises of Adult Life”, Bantam

Topics: Growth, Way, Vulnerable

Democratization is not democracy; it is a slogan for the temporary liberalization handed down from an autocrat. Glasnost is not free speech; only free speech, constitutionally guaranteed, is free speech.

Topics: Democracy, Speech, Slogans, Democratization, Glasnost

Adolescents are like cockroaches: They come out the minute you leave town, crawl the walls, feed indiscriminately, reproduce alarmingly unless drugged, and will certainly outlast you.

Topics: Wall, Cockroaches, Towns

by operating on the principle of human and material obsolescence, America eats her history alive.

Topics: America, History, Principles, Obsolescence

children may need challenges and high-risk conditions in order to develop the self-generated immunity to trauma that characterizes survivors. To be tested is good. The challenged life may be the best therapist.

Topics: Children, Self, Order, High Risk

Being a pathfinder is to be willing to risk failure and still go on.

Topics: Risk, Goes On, Willing

Young women who I think do the best job of balancing family life and a big career start businesses or work for themselves. That's the best way of being in charge of your life.

source: - "'You Don't Have to Lose Yourself': A Conversation with Gail Sheehy". The Amazon Book Review Interview, www.amazonbookreview.com. September 1, 2014.

Topics: Thinking, Family Life, Young Women

Men are not given awards and promotions for bravery in intimacy.

source: - Gail Sheehy (1977). “Passages: Predictable Crises of Adult Life”, Bantam

Topics: Men, Awards, Bravery

Journalism today is obviously in a major transition. Going to journalism school, learning how to write, working your way up in a little paper in Decatur, Georgia and then moving to Atlanta and then maybe to New York: it's just over. You have to have a whole other set of skills now. You have to be a videographer, you have to do social media. You can't do a long, thoughtful, insightful piece if you don't have the time to do reporting, particularly reporting around somebody who doesn't want to be known or an issue that doesn't want to reveal itself.

source: - Source: www.omnivoracious.com

Topics: Moving, Writing, School

A restless vitality wells up as we approach 30.

source: - Gail Sheehy (2013). “Passages: Predictable Crises of Adult Life”, p.149, Penguin

Topics: Vitality, Restless, Wells

In my memoir, I admit that I've been as fearful of success as of failure. In fact, when 'Passages' was published, I so dreaded bad reviews that I ran away to Italy with a girlfriend and our children to hide out.

Topics: Girlfriend, Children, Facts, Bad Reviews

This is a woman [Hillary Clinton] who for many of her 52 years never cared a fig about her appearance, but in the chrysalis of transformation from political wife to independent woman, the jawline has been chiseled, the dominatrix eyebrows weeded, the weight dropped, and the result is a woman who obviously enjoys for the first time being called beautiful.

source: - Source: www.vanityfair.com

Topics: Beautiful, Independent, Years, Jawline, Chrysalis

Since nobody upstages Rudolph Giuliani, his will be a Broadway-class show, perhaps his final bravura performance before November 2000, when he hopes to be turned out of the mayor's office by virtue of his election to the United States Senate.

source: - "When Hillary Clinton and Rudy Giuliani Did Battle for a Senate Seat" by Gail Sheehy, www.vanityfair.com. June 2000.

Topics: Class, Office, Broadway, Rudolph

The [Hillary] Clinton campaign was still operating with a White House mentality.

source: - Source: www.vanityfair.com

Topics: White, House, Campaigns

In the many times I have seen Hillary [Clinton] speak, she never fails to dazzle audiences by speaking in paragraphs, without notes.

source: - Source: www.vanityfair.com

Topics: Dazzle, Speak, Failing

It is Hillary's [Clinton] star power that radiates to every corner of the ballroom. New York bigwigs, such as financial-media impresario Michael Bloomberg, attorney and labor mediator Theodore Kheel, and District Attorney Robert Morgenthau, crane to see her.

source: - Source: www.vanityfair.com

Topics: Stars, New York, Media, Cranes, Mediators