Will Cuppy Quotes and Sayings - Page 1
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“If a cat does something, we call it instinct; if we do the same thing, for the same reason, we call it intelligence.”
-- Will Cuppy -
“Some people lose all respect for the lion unless he devours them instantly. There is no pleasing some people.”
-- Will Cuppy -
“Etiquette means behaving yourself a little better than is absolutely essential.”
-- Will Cuppy -
“Ah, well! We live and learn, or, anyway, we live.”
-- Will Cuppy -
“I borrow to pay my honest debts and not to squander foolishly. What's more, I confine my borrowing to those who can well afford it. I don't go around sponging on widows and orphans unless they have plenty.”
-- Will Cuppy -
“Borrowing has a bad name, but you would be surprised how it helps in a pinch.”
-- Will Cuppy -
“Most people, it seems, think that Robinson Crusoe when he landed on his Island had nothing to keep him from starvation or anything else. As a matter of fact he had twelve raft loads of supplies that he took off the wrecked ship. He had as much food and furniture as if he had had a delicatessen store and Fifth Avenue outside his hut.”
-- Will Cuppy -
“The hippopotamus looks monogamous- he looks as if he would have to be.”
-- Will Cuppy -
“The Ancient Egyptians considered it good luck to meet a swarm of Bees on the road. What they considered bad luck I couldn't say.”
-- Will Cuppy -
“During his fifteen years in Italy, Hannibal never had enough elephants to suit him. Most of the original group succumbed to the climate, and he was always begging Carthage for more, but the people at home were stingy. They would ask if he thought they were made of elephants and what had he done with the elephants they sent before.”
-- Will Cuppy -
“It's easy to see the faults in people I know; it's hardest to see the good. Especially when the good isn't there.”
-- Will Cuppy -
“The trouble with the dictionary is that you have to know how a word is spelled before you can look it up to see how it is spelled.”
-- Will Cuppy -
“[Footnote:]Each male has from 2 to 790 females with whom he discusses current events. Of these he marries from 3 to 17.”
-- Will Cuppy -
“[Footnote:] An Ant on a hot stove-lid runs faster than an Ant on a cold one. Who wouldn't?”
-- Will Cuppy -
“The Earthworm plows the whole world with his tunnels, drains and aerates the earth… If you ever buy any land, be sure it has plenty of Earthworms toiling and moiling all day so that you can sit down and relax.”
-- Will Cuppy -
“Frogs will eat red-flannel worms fed to them by biologists; this proves a great deal about both parties concerned.”
-- Will Cuppy -
“The male is colored much more gorgeously than the female so that he can be shot and made into feather embroidery.”
-- Will Cuppy -
“I only know that all is lost, and that nothing can help me unless I inherit money, strike oil or go to work.”
-- Will Cuppy -
“I am billed as a humorist, but of course I am a tragedian at heart.”
-- Will Cuppy -
“I hear so many things about who I am supposed to be I hardly know what to believe. I am willing to tell all, but what Is it? Doubtless all these myths and legends will be straightened out eventually, but It may take years.”
-- Will Cuppy -
“Other countries may boast of this and that, but nobody can touch the United States for poisonous snakes. We have about twenty species, most of them deadly, and Europe has only five or six, none of them much good. We have fifteen kinds of Rattlesnakes alone and nobody else has even one. [ There is a species in Central and South America, but it probably came from the United States ].”
-- Will Cuppy -
“They [the Pilgrims] believed in freedom of thought for themselves and for all other people who believed exactly as they did.”
-- Will Cuppy -
“The wren-box problem is becoming more acute each year, for wrens now demand better housing conditions and labor-saving devices.”
-- Will Cuppy -
“A hermit is simply a person to whom civilization has failed to adjust itself.”
-- Will Cuppy -
“Aristotle taught that the brain exists merely to cool the blood and is not involved in the process of thinking. This is true only of certain persons.”
-- Will Cuppy -
“It is because of his brain that [modern man] has risen above the animals. Guess which animals he has risen above.”
-- Will Cuppy -
“All Modern Men are descended from a Wormlike creature but it shows more on some people.”
-- Will Cuppy -
“I'm a poetry-skipper myself. I don't like to boast, but I have probably skipped more poetry than any other person of my age and weight in this country - make it any other two persons. This doesn't mean that I hate poetry. I don't feel that strongly about it. It only means that those who wish to communicate with me by means of the written word must do so in prose.”
-- Will Cuppy -
“Humor springs from rage, hay fever, overdue rent and miscellaneous hell.”
-- Will Cuppy