Cynthia Heimel Quotes and Sayings - Page 1
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“A sense of humor isn't everything. It's only 90 percent of everything.”
-- Cynthia Heimel -
“There is a microscopically thin line between being brilliantly creative and acting like the most gigantic idiot on earth.”
-- Cynthia Heimel -
“Dogs act exactly the way we would act if we had no shame.”
-- Cynthia Heimel -
“One does not have to sleep with, or even touch, someone who has paid for your meal. All those obligations are hereby rendered null and void, and any man who doesn't think so needs a quick jab in the kidney.”
-- Cynthia Heimel -
“We have to have faith in ourselves. I have never met a woman who, deep down in her core, really believes she has great legs. And if she suspects that she might have great legs, then she's convinced that she has a shrill voice and no neck.”
-- Cynthia Heimel -
“Reading is an escape, an education, a delving into the brain of another human being on such an intimate level that every nuance of thought, every snapping of synapse, every slippery desire of the author is laid open before you like, well, a book.”
-- Cynthia Heimel -
“We must eschew anything trivial. We must embrace all that is frivolous.... Trivial things take up all your time and dull your senses, whereas frivolity is meaningful, profound, worth living and dying for.... If we devote our lives to frivolity, the world will be a far, far better place. Humanity will be better able to fulfill its primary goal, that of having a good time.”
-- Cynthia Heimel -
“You love somebody, and then you don't love them anymore. But if you really love somebody, you always love them, don't you? Isn't there always some small part of you that reads their horoscope in the paper everyday?”
-- Cynthia Heimel -
“This is New York, a combat zone, and everyone has to have an angle or they're not allowed over the bridges or through the tunnels. Let them have their angles, it's what they live for. You've got better things to worry about, like making sure the people that actually matter don't try any funny stuff.”
-- Cynthia Heimel -
“Women are not ladies. The term connotates females who are simultaneously put on a pedestal and patronized.”
-- Cynthia Heimel -
“we know that our world is corrupt and diseased but we're tired of being cynical and feeling helpless. What the hell, tilt at a windmill.”
-- Cynthia Heimel -
“[On peanut M&Ms:] It is the eggness of them. A shell, chocolate placenta, proteiny peanut baby. Life shape, birth shape, cell shape, protoplasmic-ooze shape. A shape that calls straight through civilization to our reptilian brains.”
-- Cynthia Heimel -
“Wearing makeup is an apology for our actual faces.”
-- Cynthia Heimel -
“Here is Heimel's Law: Anything you fantasize about won't come true. So just cut it out.”
-- Cynthia Heimel -
“Contrary to popular cable TV-induced opinion, aerobics have nothing to do with squeezing our body into hideous shiny Spandex, grinning like a deranged orangutan, and doing cretinous steps to debauched disco music.”
-- Cynthia Heimel -
“Friends are the twenty-first-century version of extended families.”
-- Cynthia Heimel -
“There is one thing that humans strive for with every cell, every gene, every nerve fiber of our beings. ... More than Mallomars, more than hot sex, we want to belong.”
-- Cynthia Heimel -
“success in L.A. is completely arbitrary. One day you're the brilliant genius of life, the next day people act like there's a bad smell when you approach. Lots of expensive, late-model cars are offered in the L.A. Times every day by people who have suddenly begun to smell bad. The stakes are just too high for human dignity.”
-- Cynthia Heimel -
“In Manhattan, marriage is a trend. Couples kiss over their arugula and radicchio salads. They fondle each other's genitals while devouring their pasta puttanesca. By the time the tiramisu arrives, they've slid under the table.”
-- Cynthia Heimel -
“In New York we have streets exploding and innocent Buddhist girls being stabbed in the neck and cabdrivers refusing to help her. If we happen into a nightclub by mistake, when we leave the doorman will be lying in the street surrounded by police.”
-- Cynthia Heimel -
“Pity the poor infant. Born perfect into the world from imperfect parents.”
-- Cynthia Heimel -
“You can't take away knowledge, and it's dangerous to pretend you never had it.”
-- Cynthia Heimel -
“If you can't live without me, why aren't you dead already?”
-- Cynthia Heimel -
“I remember the day we were hanging around the band's commune and Roger came in with the press kit for a rock band (Moby Grape) any of us had ever seen. It looked psychedelic, yet it was done by ad people. I believe the word "hype" was coined on that very day.”
-- Cynthia Heimel -
“Homework, root canals, and deadlines are the important things in life, and only when we have these major dramas taken care of can we presume to look at the larger questions.”
-- Cynthia Heimel -
“Never judge someone by who he's in love with; judge him by his friends. People fall in love with the most appalling people.”
-- Cynthia Heimel -
“The media know exactly what they're doing, focusing our attention on Arsenio's hairdo. We need to keep our brains brimming with rubbish. If we didn't, we might think about things.”
-- Cynthia Heimel -
“Beware of men on airplanes. The minute a man reaches thirty thousand feet, he immediately becomes consumed by distasteful sexual fantasies which involve doing uncomfortable things in those tiny toilets. These men should not be encouraged, their fantasies are sadly low-rent and unimaginative. Affect an aloof, cool demeanor as soon as any man tries to draw you out. Unless, of course, he's the pilot.”
-- Cynthia Heimel