Scott Wood quotes
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“The Heimlich maneuver works on house pets. My pit bull was choking on his dinner. I squeezed his stomach and the neighbor's cat shot right out.”
-- Scott Wood -
“I joined a health spa recently. They had a sign for "Free Weights." So I took a couple.”
-- Scott Wood -
“I hate waking up every morning to my alarm. I always bang my head on the steering wheel.”
-- Scott Wood -
“When it came to spankings, my dad never used a belt. One time he grabbed a piece of my Hot Wheels race car track. In my mind I'm thinking, 'Great, now I'm being beaten with my own toys...' Thank God I didn't get that wood burning set I wanted.”
-- Scott Wood -
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“I just recently had my Visa card stolen. Right now, it's everywhere I want to be.”
-- Scott Wood
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“They're funny things, Accidents. You never have them till you're having them.”
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“Freedom of the press is guaranteed only to those who own one.”
Source : New Yorker, 14 May 1960
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“Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Kuwait.”
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“Cats and I have an understanding, but we choose not to interact often.”
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