What do you call an Irishman who knows how to control a wife? -- A bachelor.
Irish Blessing - As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point the wrong way.
Q: Why do you always find things in the last place you look? A: Duh!
What make a forum? -- A two-um plus a two-um
How can you kill an stupid person with a coin? Throw it in front of an oncoming bus.
What if there were no hypothetical situations?
What did the pirate say when he turned 80? Aye matey.
Why are pirates so mean? They just arrrr!
Who ever invented knock-knock jokes deserves a no-bell prize.
What do you call somebody with no body and no nose? -- Nobody Knows
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
What do you do if a idiot throws a grenade at you? -- Pull the pin and throw it back at him!
What happens when you get scared half to death twice?
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.
Never argue with a fool, they will lower you to their level, and then beat you with experience.