What do you call a sheep with no legs? A cloud.
The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? -- Damn
Why did the duck go to rehab? Because he was a quack addict!
What do you call a bear with no teeth? -- A gummy bear!
Women brush their hair before bed.
Women love to shop. It is the one area of the world where they feel like they're actually in control.
Why do women have periods? -- Because they deserve them.
Women never have anything to wear. Don't question the racks of clothes in the closet; you "just don't understand"
Why do women have small feet? -- So they can stand closer to the kitchen counter.
What do you call a woman with one black eye? -- A quick Learner.
Q:Do you talk to your wife after sex? A:Depends, if I can find the phone!
How do you blind a woman? -- You put a windshield in front of her.
What gets easier to pick up the heavier it gets? -- Women.
What do you call a letter from a feminist? -- Hate male.