Michael Ian Black quotes
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“The thing that I think is the most important is taking moments to express your appreciation to your partner. A thank you or a quick kiss can go a long way toward affirming your relationship and commitment to each other. That's not hard to do even when you're juggling insane careers and three kids.”
-- Michael Ian Black -
“There's things I know I'm good at, and those things interest me less and less. I learn a lot more from doing it wrong than I do from doing it right.”
-- Michael Ian BlackSource : "The Best-Laid Plans Of Michael Ian Black". Interview with Royal Young, www.interviewmagazine.com. February 27, 2012.
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“It doesn't matter what you're chasing, when you get there you're gonna be like, "Oh, is this all? It kind of sucks."”
-- Michael Ian Black -
“There is something about the human condition. I don't think dogs are like "If only I was a poodle instead of a golden retriever, I'd be totally happy." Dogs are happy with who they are.”
-- Michael Ian Black -
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“Whatever expectations I had for myself, none of them have come to pass. I grew up thinking I was going to be an actor, which I am. But I thought I'd be a very serious sort of Shakespearean guy going from town to town having sex with various Juliets all over the country.”
-- Michael Ian Black -
“I thought I'd be living a much more bohemian life and be very poor. I never thought I'd do comedy or be married living in the suburbs. Every time I try to plan my life out it just doesn't come to pass, and I think that's a great experience.”
-- Michael Ian Black -
“I don't chase after things, but I put forward the effort and know the rest of it is out of my hands.”
-- Michael Ian BlackSource : "The Best-Laid Plans Of Michael Ian Black". Interview with Royal Young, www.interviewmagazine.com. February 27, 2012.
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“Things you never thought were going to turn into something end up being the most important things in your life. You have to learn to not try to control it.”
-- Michael Ian Black -
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“The whole idea of punk rock is that you're dressing yourself in a crazy leather jacket with safety pins and a Mohawk. The idea of being the rebel is a boring societal idea. It's such a type. And that's what I was, without knowing it.”
-- Michael Ian Black -
“The things I care about are the most pedestrian things in the world. I care about good ice cream and being a good dad and a decent husband.”
-- Michael Ian Black -
“I never really understood what was expected of me as a man, or how I was supposed to interact with women, but worse, with other guys. I did not relate to them.”
-- Michael Ian Black -
“All my friends were girls. Then my mom's strident feminism for years where men were thought of as the enemy, I just didn't know what the right way to be a man was.”
-- Michael Ian Black -
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“If you say "I'm going to be an actor, but I'll get a teaching degree just in case," when things get hard, you'll just be a teacher and that's how you get stuck.”
-- Michael Ian Black -
“I'm enough of an optimist and a patriot to believe that in U.S. you have a lot of opportunity and can do pretty much anything you want in some form. For me, the idea of failure is far preferable to the idea of regret.”
-- Michael Ian Black -
“My fear is if I expose myself, not so much that I'll be hurt, but that the reaction will be "Is that all there is? Is that the entirety of you? Because it's boring."”
-- Michael Ian Black -
“That's been my fear all along. That I'm not enough, and I still don't trust at all that I am.”
-- Michael Ian BlackSource : "The Best-Laid Plans Of Michael Ian Black". Interview with Royal Young, www.interviewmagazine.com. February 27, 2012.
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“I imagine there's a level of narcissism that goes into thinking you're enough.”
-- Michael Ian BlackSource : "The Best-Laid Plans Of Michael Ian Black". Interview with Royal Young, www.interviewmagazine.com. February 27, 2012.
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“I'll never admit that I'm an actor, because the next horrible follow-up question is always, "Oh, what have I seen you in?"”
-- Michael Ian Black -
“I don't necessarily self-identify as a writer, 'cause it implies a certain level of intelligence.”
-- Michael Ian BlackSource : "Q+A: The State of Michael Ian Black". Interview with Eric Spitznagel, www.esquire.com. February 15, 2012.
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“Shuffling really isn't something you should be doing on your deathbed.”
-- Michael Ian Black -
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“By the end of the time I'm writing a book, I'm tearing my hair out and I want to go do stand-up. And then I want to do something else. I don't know why it is true with me that I can't just be satisfied doing the one thing, but I'm constantly flitting from one thing to another.”
-- Michael Ian Black -
“I think writing for anybody helps you order your life. It helps you arrange your emotions and your thoughts and it helps to provide perspective.”
-- Michael Ian Black -
“I probably should be thinking of better ideas on how to promote myself, but I don't really spend a lot of time doing it. I really don't know how to promote effectively.”
-- Michael Ian Black -
“Hosting a game show is so bizarre and uniquely its own thing. Anytime I'm hosting something, I try to bring as much of myself to it as I can, but it's always going to be incomplete.”
-- Michael Ian Black -
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“As a game-show host, what I'm thinking and what I'm experiencing doesn't matter. My opinion doesn't matter. So there's a flattened reality to it. It's fun to do. But it's certainly not myself in totality - or even maybe a little bit.”
-- Michael Ian BlackSource : "Michael Ian Black on the many versions of 'himself'". Interview with Erik Adams, tv.avclub.com. October 22, 2013.
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“Hosting a show, even a talk show or a game show, there's so much business you have to conduct. There's so much guiding you have to do.”
-- Michael Ian Black -
“I think in doing stand-up there are no rules and there's no architecture.”
-- Michael Ian Black -
“You have to lead, in the case of a game show, a contestant through the architecture of the show. So there's a lot of rules there, literal and implied, that you have to navigate.”
-- Michael Ian BlackSource : "Michael Ian Black on the many versions of 'himself'". Interview with Erik Adams, tv.avclub.com. October 22, 2013.
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“With stand-up, you can be as freeform as you want to be. You can say what you want, how you want, at any moment without constraint.”
-- Michael Ian Black -
“Twitter is about creating whatever persona you want to create and either sticking with it or changing it or evolving it or contradicting it, and I've done all that stuff.”
-- Michael Ian Black -
“It's such a deliberate thing to sit down and write a tweet. You're putting yourself out there in a very deliberate way, and over however many tweets, you start to create a character for yourself.”
-- Michael Ian Black -
“The characters that I have on Twitter have very little resemblance to me, the person who's writing them.”
-- Michael Ian Black -
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“I was very surprised how many people were earnestly reminiscing about the '80s. It's such a stupid thing to do, like, to be honestly invested in nostalgia. It never even occurred to me to do that.”
-- Michael Ian Black -
“I can be a snarky Asshole, or I can be sort of mentally impaired. It's very hard for me to just be normal human being.”
-- Michael Ian BlackSource : "Michael Ian Black on the many versions of himself". Interview with Erik Adams, www.avclub.com. October 22, 2013.
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“As an actor, you can show up on a set and be on a TV show for three or four years, or whatever it is and, by the end of it, you just want to do something else.”
-- Michael Ian Black -
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“Super excited about things I'm going to do; never excited about things I'm actually doing.”
-- Michael Ian Black -
“So my reaction to hearing this corny-ass, horrible song ["With Arms Wide Open" by Creed] is violent, uncontrollable, sustained weeping.”
-- Michael Ian Black -
“I take my coffee the same way I take my women: Strong, black, and proud.”
-- Michael Ian Black -
“The global business climate is likewhatever, dude.”
-- Michael Ian Black -
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“I hope you die.... P.S. If you do die, I'm going to go to the funeral and finger your corpse.”
-- Michael Ian Black -
“I don't watch that much comedy. I think it's professional jealousy. That and a lack of support for my community.”
-- Michael Ian Black -
“I loved Dungeons & Dragons. Actually, not so much the actual playing as the creation of characters and the opportunity to roll twenty-sided dice. I loved those pouches of dice Dungeon Masters would trundle around, loved choosing what I was going to be: warrior, wizard, dwarf, thief.”
-- Michael Ian BlackSource : "Michael Ian Black on Parenting, Pop Culture and His Worst Christmas Present Ever". Interview with Sarah Thyre, www.huffingtonpost.com. March 16, 2012.
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“Lordy, lordy, lordy do I love money. It is a character flaw, no doubt, one that springs from a panicked childhood in which I always felt as if our family was only a couple missed child support payments from being tossed onto the pitiless streets of our suburban New Jersey town.”
-- Michael Ian Black -
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“My absolute favorite growing up was Super Friends. The assemblage of so many mighty heroes in one place was, to me, mind-blowing. It was Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, the Flash, Aquaman, and then sometimes Hawkman and some other, lesser heroes.”
-- Michael Ian Black -
“There is no word for feeling nostalgic about the future, but that's what a parent's tears often are, a nostalgia for something that has not yet occurred. They are the pain of hope, the helplessness of hope, and finally, the surrender to hope.”
-- Michael Ian BlackSource : Michael Ian Black (2012). “You're Not Doing It Right: Tales of Marriage, Sex, Death, and Other Humiliations”, p.106, Simon and Schuster
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