Marcus Brigstocke quotes
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“The basic function of a comic is stand-up because it's so straightforward and simple. If the audience don't laugh, you didn't do your job. I've had some audiences where I didn't care if they laughed or not because they were either too drunk or stupid.”
-- Marcus BrigstockeSource : "60 SECONDS: Marcus Brigstocke". Interview with Paul Kevan, metro.co.uk. June 27, 2007.
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“If you go on stage with an agenda, you have to accept not everyone's going to agree with it.”
-- Marcus BrigstockeSource : "60 SECONDS: Marcus Brigstocke". Interview with Paul Kevan, metro.co.uk. June 27, 2007.
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“I spend my jollity on stage, so there is less in my own life.”
-- Marcus Brigstocke -
“Eventually, somewhere - be it on the Internet or somewhere else - I will host some version of 'The Daily Show.'”
-- Marcus Brigstocke -
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“There are a lot of comics at the top end making staggering amounts of money and selling out stadiums. I think stand-up is a more intimate thing than that. Maybe because of the kind of comedy I do. It's like a discussion, but I'm the one with the microphone.”
-- Marcus Brigstocke -
“I think Ross Noble is the only person that I've seen really storm a stand-up slot at a festival, and that was when he led 3,000 people on a conga out of the tent and across the entire site to a vegetarian food truck.”
-- Marcus Brigstocke -
“I'm best known as a stand-up comedian, but I'm a good actor in the right role.”
-- Marcus Brigstocke -
“No one wants life to end. It was bad enough when my last tour came to an end.”
-- Marcus Brigstocke -
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“The most successful comics are always the hardest-working ones.”
-- Marcus BrigstockeSource : "Portrait of the artist: Marcus Brigstocke, comedian". Interview with Laura Barnett, www.theguardian.com. November 27, 2007.
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“I became hugely overweight and then hated myself because it was a form of self-abuse, something over which I had no control. I think the thing compulsive over-eaters want to achieve is that stuffed-full Christmas afternoon feeling.”
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“I realised that to compare your insides with other people's outsides leads to unhappiness.”
-- Marcus BrigstockeSource : "Portrait of the artist: Marcus Brigstocke, comedian". Interview with Laura Barnett, www.theguardian.com. November 27, 2007.
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“I find it hard to get enthusiastic about hotels because, as a touring comic, I spend a lot of time in them.”
-- Marcus Brigstocke -
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“And much as I enjoy writing and creating stuff, I don't enjoy it so much that I am willing to give up any time that could otherwise be spent performing.”
-- Marcus Brigstocke -
“Guilt is feeling bad about what you have done; shame is feeling bad about who you are - all it is, is muddling up things you have done with who you are.”
-- Marcus Brigstocke -
“Never Google yourself. Seriously, don't!”
-- Marcus Brigstocke -
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“If you want something Scottish, go get yourself a kilt.”
-- Marcus Brigstocke -
“Catholicism has the clerical equivalent to a nut allergy - even a small exposure to change, and the whole thing will go into anaphylactic shock.”
-- Marcus Brigstocke -
“I am not racked with self-loathing. Some issues of guilt and shame, but I'm a pretty good guy.”
-- Marcus Brigstocke -
“I'm more pompous and self-assured and determined that if - you know - if the truth can be told so as to be understood, it will be believed.”
-- Marcus Brigstocke -
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“I find myself by default an atheist but fairly unhappily so. It would be bloody marvelous if there was a god.”
-- Marcus Brigstocke -
“My purist comedy friends accuse me of being a Jack of all trades and master of none.”
-- Marcus Brigstocke -
“I have learnt that I am incapable of packing the right amount of clothing, probably because I start 10 minutes before I'm supposed to leave, and that I truly hate airports.”
-- Marcus Brigstocke -
“Britain is obsessed with political correctness.”
-- Marcus Brigstocke -
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“I went to China for a brief working visit, and I thought that Shanghai was interesting, but Beijing totally grabbed me.”
-- Marcus Brigstocke -
“I think it's important never to look yourself up on Wikipedia. I think the temptation to correct any interesting factual errors would be too much.”
-- Marcus Brigstocke -
“I failed to get into drama school, and my best friend told me I should do stand-up instead. I was always doing gags and voices, so he booked a gig for me without telling me. I only had four days to write it. I did a seven-minute set; the first four minutes were terrible, but the last two were amazing.”
-- Marcus Brigstocke -
“I stumbled on a joke idea and style that worked, the audience went with it and, from that moment on, I was hooked. It's an amazing feeling.”
-- Marcus BrigstockeSource : "60 SECONDS: Marcus Brigstocke". Interview with Paul Kevan, metro.co.uk. June 27, 2007.
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“I've spent a lot of very happy times in Edinburgh as a result of playing virtually every festival since 1996. It's also a beautiful city in its own right, is walkable, within sight of the sea and mountains - and was too far north for the Luftwaffe to have done any damage, hence the spectacularly beautiful architecture.”
-- Marcus Brigstocke -
“I don't mind not being cool; I wear a cardigan.”
-- Marcus Brigstocke -
“To the people who've got iPhones: you just bought one, you didn't invent it!”
-- Marcus Brigstocke -
“Political correctness is as exploitable as any other progressive ideal, but its aim is to stifle the incessant noise of those who flap their careless lips without a thought about those they might offend and why that might be important.”
-- Marcus BrigstockeSource : "Of political correctness and referendums" by Marcus Brigstocke, www.theguardian.com. May 23, 2005.
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“Jews, I know you're God's chosen people and the rest of us are just 'whatever', but when Israel behaves like a violent, psychopathic bully and someone mentions it, that doesn't make them anti-Semitic.”
-- Marcus Brigstocke -
“You know you are fat when you hug a child and it gets lost.”
-- Marcus Brigstocke -
“I have an addictive personality. Boarding school merely sent me more quickly on the downward spiral that dominated my childhood.”
-- Marcus Brigstocke
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