Simon Munnery quotes
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“Many are willing to suffer for their art. Few are willing to learn to draw.”
-- Simon MunnerySource : "Fictional character: The League Against Tedium". TV Series "Attention Scum", 2001.
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“Although no man is an island, you can make quite an effective raft out of six.”
-- Simon MunnerySource : "Attention Scum!", Episode 1, 2001.
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“I've got nothing against any individual American, except that there aren't any. They're always Irish-American, African-American... There's never an American-American you can blame.”
-- Simon MunnerySource : "Attention Scum". TV Series, 2001.
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“If you only ever read one book in your life ... I highly recommend you keep your mouth shut”
-- Simon MunnerySource : "How To Live". Book by Simon Munnery, 2005.
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“He who disagrees with me in private, call him a fool. He who disagrees with me in public, call him an ambulance.”
-- Simon MunnerySource : "Stand up and be counted" by Sam Taylor, www.theguardian.com. December 30, 2000.
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“Like bees around honey. Why are bees so attracted to honey, since they make it? It can only be vanity.”
-- Simon Munnery -
“What do you get the man who has everything? Might I suggest a gravestone inscribed with the words: so what?”
-- Simon Munnery -
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“I don't worry about losing my looks. It's finding them on someone else that worries me.”
-- Simon Munnery -
“Like many supermodels, I won't get out of bed for less than £3000. Unlike many supermodels, I don't get out of bed very often.”
-- Simon Munnery -
“The truly beautiful are often abused for apparent ugliness just as those with great vision often bump into things.”
-- Simon Munnery -
“I remember when I posed as a customs officer so that I could meet Oscar Wilde. I said to him "Have you anything to declare?" He said "I have nothing to declare but my genius." I said "I'll put that down as nothing then shall I?" For I am the wittiest man on Earth.”
-- Simon Munnery -
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“Fish deserve to be caught for they are lazy. Two million years of evolution and they still haven't got out of the water.”
-- Simon Munnery -
“It is the vanity of women to spend hours in front of the mirror. It is the vanity of men not to bother.”
-- Simon MunnerySource : "How To Live". Book by Simon Munnery, 2005.
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“Life is like a musical by Andrew Lloyd Webber. Very popular and not as bad as some would have you believe. That is, unspeakably awful but mercifully brief.”
-- Simon Munnery -
“I wear glasses myself. As an affectation, as a badge of high intellect and to see with.”
-- Simon Munnery -
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