Joe E. Lewis quotes
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“I don’t drink anymore - just the same amount.”
-- Joe E. Lewis -
“I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster.”
-- Joe E. Lewis -
“I don't like money actually, but it quiets the nerves.”
-- Joe E. Lewis -
“They had me on the operating table all day. They looked into my stomach, my gall bladder, they examined everything inside of me. Know what they decided? I need glasses.”
-- Joe E. Lewis -
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“I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.”
-- Joe E. LewisSource : Recalled on his death, 4 Jun1971.
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“You are only young once, and if you work it right, once is enough.”
-- Joe E. Lewis -
“Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my scotch, I say, I'm thirsty, not dirty.”
-- Joe E. Lewis -
“I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I had lost exactly two weeks.”
-- Joe E. Lewis -
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“You can lead a horse to water, but if you can get him to roll over and float on his back, then you got something!”
-- Joe E. Lewis -
“I don't drink any more than the man next to me, and the man next to me is Dean Martin.”
-- Joe E. Lewis -
“It pays to get drunk with the best people.”
-- Joe E. Lewis -
“There's only one thing money won't buy, and that is poverty.”
-- Joe E. Lewis -
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“I play in the low 80s. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play.”
-- Joe E. Lewis -
“Show me a man with both feet on the ground and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants on.”
-- Joe E. Lewis -
“I never went to school beyond the 3rd grade, but my mother taught me the difference between right and wrong.”
-- Joe E. Lewis -
“If you drink like a fish, don't drive: swim.”
-- Joe E. Lewis -
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“A man is never drunk if he can lay on the floor without holding on.”
-- Joe E. Lewis -
“Adlai Stevenson has a genius for saying the right thing, at the right time, to the wrong people.”
-- Joe E. Lewis -
“Boys, I have been rich and I have been poor, and believe me being rich is better.”
-- Joe E. Lewis -
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“I'm still chasing girls. I don't remember what for, but I'm still chasing them.”
-- Joe E. Lewis -
“It doesn't matter whether you are rich or poor - as long as you've got money.”
-- Joe E. Lewis -
“I know a lot more old drunks than old doctors.”
-- Joe E. Lewis -
“I drink to forget I drink.”
-- Joe E. LewisSource : "Miss Charming's Guide for Hip Bartenders and Wayout Wannabes: Your Ultimate One-Stop Bar and Cocktail Resource". Book by Cheryl Charming, p. 137, 2006.
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“I met with an accident on the way to the track; I arrived safely.”
-- Joe E. Lewis -
“I've been on such a losing streak that if I had been around I would have taken General Custer and given points.”
-- Joe E. Lewis -
“Rooting for the Yankees is like rooting for U.S. Steel.”
-- Joe E. Lewis -
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“Show me a friend in need and I'll show you a pest.”
-- Joe E. Lewis -
“I would take a bomb, but I can't stand the noise.”
-- Joe E. Lewis
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