Patrick Murray quotes

“I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't.”
-- Patrick Murray

#Funny Quotes #Hilarious Quotes #Wife Quotes

“A Lawyer will do anything to win a case, sometimes he will even tell the truth.”
-- Patrick Murray

#Winning Quotes #Lawyer Quotes #Telling The Truth Quotes

“Yesterday was the first day of the rest of your life . . . and you messed it up again.”
-- Patrick Murray

#Yesterday Quotes #Firsts Quotes

“The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity.”
-- Patrick Murray

#Leisure Quotes #Computer Quotes #Internet Quotes

“The only difference between a dead skunk lying in the road and a dead lawyer lying in the road is that there are skid marks around the skunk.”
-- Patrick Murray

#Lying Quotes #Differences Quotes #Lawyer Quotes

“Tell your boss what you really think about him and the truth shall set you free.”
-- Patrick Murray

#Thinking Quotes #Boss Quotes

“Any political party that includes the word 'democratic' in its name, isn't.”
-- Patrick Murray

#Party Quotes #Names Quotes #Political Quotes

“I grew up watching my Dad, Uncles Ciaran Murray and Brendan Murray, and cousin, Aedin Murray, who were all national caliber Gaelic football players in Ireland. I try to watch as much Gaelic football as I can, it is my first love. I bleed Green, White, and Orange. Gaelic football players don’t get paid to play, you play to represent your county that is more important than earning money.”
-- Patrick Murray

#Football Quotes #Cousin Quotes #Uncles Quotes

“Repent or be damned! If you have already repented, please disregard this notice.”
-- Patrick Murray

#Disregard Quotes #Repent Quotes #Please Quotes

“Freedom of the press is guaranteed only to those who own one.”

Source : New Yorker, 14 May 1960

“I had two thoughts about it. One was I could do that, and the next one was I'll never get to do that.”

“Men have only two emotions: hungry and horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist.”

“To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target”

“If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it?”

Source : Twitter post from Mar 27, 2014

“A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.”

Source : Quoted in Alan Harrington, Life in the Crystal Palace (1959).

“I love my wife, she deserves anything and everything.”

“Finding a good band is Iike finding a good wife. You got to keep trying till you find the right one.”

“It is best for ordinary men to have only one wife !”

“Why bother with Google when I have a wife who knows everything about everything!”