Bernard Manning quotes
-
“I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.”
-- Bernard Manning -
“I'm not saying my mother-in-law is fat - because she is of reasonable size, and I care about her and her self-image.”
-- Bernard Manning -
“You are what you eat.....I've eaten so many fat ***** you wouldn't believe”
-- Bernard Manning -
“We used to sleep five to a bed and three of them used to wet the bed. I learnt to swim before I could walk.”
-- Bernard Manning -
-
“I'm glad I'm not bisexual. I couldn't stand being rejected by men as well as women.”
-- Bernard ManningSource : "Bernard Manning has his last laugh" by Mark Tran, www.theguardian.com. June 18, 2007.
-
“I once got sacked for laughing ... mind you, I was driving a hearse at the time.”
-- Bernard ManningSource : "Bernard Manning has his last laugh" by Mark Tran, www.theguardian.com. June 18, 2007.
-
“If you want to drink, have a drink... if you want to drive, then drive... there's nothing worse than having a smash sober.”
-- Bernard Manning -
“I've got cheekier with age. You can get away with murder when you're 71 years old. People just think I'm a silly old fool.”
-- Bernard Manning -
-
“Uncyclopedia isn't funny anymore.”
-- Bernard Manning
-
“God bless you and utterly satisfy your heart...with Himself.”
-
“I'm one of five kids and we lived on a massive farm in New South Wales with my mum and dad.”
-
Source : "The beauty of bendable batteries" by Alok Jha, www.theguardian.com. February 23, 2005.
-
“My mobile phone battery runs out all the time because all the messages come straight to me.”
You may also like:
-
Bob Monkhouse
Writer -
Bruce Forsyth
Presenter -
Cilla Black
Singer -
Eric Sykes
Television writer -
Frank Carson
Comedian -
Jim Davidson
Comedian -
Ken Dodd
Comedian -
Lenny Henry
Stand-up comedian -
Les Dawson
Comedian -
Matt Roper
Comedian -
Mick Miller
Comedian -
Paul Daniels
Magician -
Ronnie Corbett
Actor -
Tommy Cooper
Comedian -
Esther Rantzen
Journalist -
Paul O'Grady
Comedian -
Tom O'Connor
Comedian