Brian P. Cleary quotes
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“When a kid says "smell my hand," it almost never smells like cinnamon.”
-- Brian P. Cleary -
“Any cupcake consumed before 9AM is, technically, a muffin.”
-- Brian P. Cleary -
“Whatever story you're telling, it will be more interesting if, at the end you add, "and then everything burst into flames.”
-- Brian P. Cleary -
“When a kid can understand that a word can mean two things, there's some real thinking going on. They have a vested interest in finding out what a word means, because it's the punch line to a joke.”
-- Brian P. Cleary -
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“I love the semicolon; it's unnecessary, but graceful and sophisticated.”
-- Brian P. Cleary -
“You want a story? Read 'Gone With the Wind'. These aren't stories. They're joke books. The whole thing of a beginning, a middle and an end has been done to death.”
-- Brian P. Cleary -
“Kids enjoy laughing and are seldom bored when they find something funny. They also ask questions, often to adults, because they understand that the more words they can comprehend about a funny story or a joke, the more they'll enjoy it.”
-- Brian P. Cleary -
“I like all things grammatical, and I had already written several books about parts of speech, and even the alphabet, so everything that makes up a sentence and even a word was covered except for punctuation.”
-- Brian P. Cleary -
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“If I have a talent for making some fourth-grader who hates school and reading to hate it a little less, then I have to do the most with what I've been issued.”
-- Brian P. Cleary -
“In writing I found something I could do at least as well as my peers, if not better.”
-- Brian P. Cleary -
“Children are like sponges; they start to smell after a little while.”
-- Brian P. Cleary -
“There’s no such thing as free kittens.”
-- Brian P. Cleary -
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“Our cat is kind dove shellfish, and thinks the world is hers, She finds a comfy spot and then we pet turtle sheep purrs.”
-- Brian P. Cleary -
“If a couple has their picture taken at a wedding or other social gathering, and the woman looks hot, her guy could be blinking, chewing, or even mid-sneeze, and she’ll still display it on her desk at work.”
-- Brian P. Cleary -
“A good friend will help you plant your tulips. A great friend will help you plant a gun on the unarmed intruder you just shot.”
-- Brian P. Cleary -
“It’s not technically gossip if you start your sentence with “I’m really concerned about __________________ ,†(fill in the name of the person you’re not gossiping about).”
-- Brian P. Cleary -
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“Not only is love blind, it’s a little hard of hearing.”
-- Brian P. Cleary -
“It's perfectly okay if you don't understand every single one of them. For one thing, I make a lot of corny jokes, and you have to be 40 years old to get some of them.”
-- Brian P. Cleary
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