Frank Muir quotes
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“Strategy is buying a bottle of fine wine when you take a lady out for dinner. Tactics is getting her to drink it.”
-- Frank Muir -
“The glances over cocktails That seem to be so sweet Don't seem quite so amorous Over Shredded Wheat”
-- Frank Muir -
“A golf ball is white, dimpled like a bishop's knees, and is the size of small mandarin oranges or those huge pills which vets blow down the throats of constipated cart-horses.”
-- Frank Muir -
“Wit is a weapon. Jokes are a masculine way of inflicting superiority. But humor is the pursuit of a gentle grin, usually in solitude.”
-- Frank Muir -
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“The golden rule when reading the menu is, if you cannot pronounce it, you cannot afford it.”
-- Frank Muir -
“It has been said that a bride's attitude towards her betrothed can be summed up in three words: Aisle. Alter. Hymn.”
-- Frank MuirSource : Frank Muir, Denis Norden (1984). “The utterly ultimate 'My word!' collection”, Methuen Pub Ltd
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“Some breakfast food manufacturer hit upon the simple notion of emptying out the leavings of carthorse nose bags, adding a few other things like unconsumed portions of chicken layer's mash, and the sweepings of racing stables, packing the mixture in little bags and selling them in health food shops.”
-- Frank Muir -
“Hotel tea is when you have to mix together a plastic envelope containing too much sugar, a small plastic pot of something which is not milk but has curdled anyway, and a thin brown packet seemingly containing the ashes of a cremated mole.”
-- Frank Muir -
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“The speeches to be wary of are those that begin with I'm just going to say a few words.”
-- Frank Muir
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“I'm Mozart with a focus on the tide Hiding the inconsistencies of man behind water and wine”
Source : Song: Water
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“A new friend is new wine, when it grows old, you will enjoy drinking it.”
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“Jazz was born out of the whiskey bottle, was raised on marijiana, and will expire on cocaine.”
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“Terrorism is the tactic of demanding the impossible, and demanding it at gunpoint.”
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“Good tactics can save even the worst strategy. Bad tactics will destroy even the best strategy.”
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