Melvin Helitzer quotes
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“Enjoy how sweet, how thoughtful, how kind I'm being on your birthday. Because tomorrow it's back to the same old crap.”
-- Melvin Helitzer -
“I'd like to introduce a man with a lot of charm, talent, and wit. Unfortunately, he couldn't be here tonight, so instead . . .”
-- Melvin HelitzerSource : Melvin Helitzer (1992). “Comedy Writing Secrets”, Writers Digest Books
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“I sort of feel like Cindy Crawford's new husband on their wedding night. I know what's expected of me. I'm just not sure I've got the ability to make it interesting.”
-- Melvin Helitzer -
“One thing I can guarantee you. You may not be a great deal wiser from my talk today, but you will be a great deal older.”
-- Melvin HelitzerSource : Melvin Helitzer (1992). “The Dream Job: Sports Publicity, Promotion, and Public Relations”, Univ Sports Press
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“If the audience knows what's behind the door and the actor does not, that's comedy. If both the audience and the actor do not know, that's mystery!”
-- Melvin Helitzer -
“A famous actor, Edmund Kean, on his deathbed, was reported to have said, "Dying is easy. Comedy is hard."”
-- Melvin HelitzerSource : Melvin Helitzer (1992). “Comedy Writing Secrets”, Writers Digest Books
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“I have a serious investment problem. I have no money.”
-- Melvin HelitzerSource : Melvin Helitzer (1992). “Comedy Writing Secrets”, Writers Digest Books
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Source : Abraham Coles (1892). “Abraham Coles: Biographical Sketch, Memorial Tributes, Selections from His Works, (some Hitherto Unpublished.)”
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Source : "Ashton Kutcher Channels Steve Jobs In The Best 'Teen Choice Awards' Acceptance Speech Ever". Ashton Kutcher's acceptance speech for Teen Choice Awards at Gibson Amphitheatre in Los Angeles, www.businessinsider.com. August 11, 2013.
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Source : Alan Watts (1977). “The essence of Alan Watts”, Celestial Arts Publishing Company
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“I told my boyfriend after three weeks that I wanted to marry him and that we could do it tomorrow.”
Source : "Our Heroine". Cosmopolitan Interview, www.cosmopolitan.com. September 21, 2007.
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Source : Interview with Noel Murray, www.avclub.com. March 20, 2008.
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“If I don't do laundry today, I'm gonna have to buy new clothes tomorrow.”
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