Mr Collins Quotes:

He begged to know to which of his fair cousins the excellency of its cookery was owing. Briefly forgetting her manners, Mary grabbed her fork and leapt from her chair onto the table. Lydia, who was seated nearest her, grabbed her ankle before she could dive at Mr. Collins and, presumably, stab him about the head and neck for such an insult.

- Seth Grahame-Smith

topic: Cousin, Mr Collins, Ankles, Cookery

An unhappy alternative is before you, Elizabeth. From this day you must be a stranger to one of your parents. Your mother will never see you again if you do not marry Mr. Collins, and I will never see you again if you do.

- Jane Austen

source: 'Pride and Prejudice' (1813) ch. 20 (Mr Bennet)

topic: Mother, Pride, Mr Collins, Pride And Prejudice Pride, Mrs Bennet

It does not appear to me that my hand is unworthy your acceptance, or that the establishment I can offer would be any other than highly desirable.

- Jane Austen

source: Jane Austen (1853). “Pride and Prejudice”, p.96

topic: Acceptance, Mr Collins, Hands

If you were to give me forty such men, I never could be so happy as you. Till I have your disposition, your goodness, I never can have your happiness. No, no, let me shift for myself; and, perhaps, if I have very good luck, I may meet with another Mr. Collins in time.

- Jane Austen

source: Jane Austen (2006). “The Complete Novels: (Penguin Classics Deluxe Edition)”, p.497, Penguin

topic: Good Luck, Men, Mr Collins

I am not romantic, you know; I never was.

- Jane Austen

source: Jane Austen, Michelle Pillow (2010). “Pride and Prejudice: The Wild and Wanton Edition”, p.183, Adams Media

topic: Mr Collins, Knows

Mr. Collins is a conceited, pompous, narrow-minded, silly man; you know he is, as well as I do; and you must feel, as well as I do, that the woman who married him cannot have a proper way of thinking.

- Jane Austen

source: Jane Austen (1946). “PRIDE AND PREJUDICE”, p.82, PDFreeBooks.org

topic: Silly, Conceited, Men, Mr Collins, Silly Man

Happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of chance.

- Jane Austen

topic: Happiness, Wedding, Literature, Felicity, Happenstance

Mr. Meant-to has a friend, his name is Didn't-Do. Have you met them? They live together in a house called Never-Win. And I am told that it is haunted by the Ghost of Might-have-Been.

- Marva Collins

topic: Past, Winning, Names, Mr Collins

Your mother will never see you again if you do not marry Mr. Collins, and I will never see you again if you do; for I shall not have my best warrior resigned to the service of a man who is fatter than Buddha and duller than the edge of a learning sword.

- Seth Grahame-Smith

source: Jane Austen, Seth Grahame-Smith (2009). “Pride and Prejudice and Zombies”, p.102, Quirk Books

topic: Mother, Warrior, Men, Mr Collins