Nasim Pedrad quotes

  • If men could get pregnant, abortion clinics would be like Starbucks - two on every block and four in every airport. And the morning-after pill would come in different flavors like sea salt and cool ranch.
    -- Nasim Pedrad

    #Morning #Block #Men

  • John [Mulaney] likes to say I'm like a district attorney with absolutely no jurisdiction whatsoever.
    -- Nasim Pedrad

    #Likes #Attorney

  • At the time, I was in L.A., just auditioning and hoping to land a part, dramatic or comedic. I started to feel really stagnant, waiting for a part. I was also taking classes at UCB and Groundlings, and at the higher levels, they focus on writing. It was such a relief to be able to write. During those programs, I wrote a one-woman show called Me, Myself, and Iran, and it ended up getting to Tina Fey. She recommended me to audition for SNL, so I got my first of two auditions through her.
    -- Nasim Pedrad

    #Writing #Iran #Land

  • I’ll never forget my very first [SNL] show. I had a card in my changing room from Kristen Wiig. It just had a heart on the inside, and she’d written “Have fun.” That always stayed with me.
    -- Nasim Pedrad

    #Fun #Heart #Cards

  • I knew at a young age that I wanted to do comedy, and maybe part of that was trying to fit in at school because I had a weird name, and my parents had these accents, and I was definitely a late bloomer.
    -- Nasim Pedrad

    #School #Names #Parent

  • I’ll never forget my very first [SNL] show. I had a card in my changing room from Kristen Wiig. It just had a heart on the inside, and she’d written “Have fun.” That always stayed with me.
    -- Nasim Pedrad

    #Fun #Heart #Rooms

  • Could man be drunk for ever       With liquor, love, or fights, Lief should I rouse at morning       And lief lie down of nights. But men at whiles are sober       And think by fits and starts, And if they think, they fasten       Their hands upon their hearts.

  • I was here, and I loaded a shotgun on Independence Day, but I didn't kill anybody. I didn't drone any children. I didn't steal any children's future. I didn't sell this country into debt. I didn't do any of the crimes that the man two blocks over at the White House is responsible for,

  • You can play some schlock like New Kids On the Block.

  • It's easy to be lazy when there's food lying around backstage or there's a fast-food joint a couple blocks away. But if you walk a little further, ask around a bit, of course there are exciting things to discover.

  • Is it a particularly British trait to so utterly adore truly appalling men, from Tony Hancock through to Steptoe and Alf Garnett, Captain Mainwaring, Rigsby, Del Boy, Victor Meldrew and on to David Brent from The Office. The most deeply adored characters are all simply vile.

  • This is our high calling, to represent Christ, and act in His behalf, and in His character and spirit, under all circumstances and toward all men.

  • The sanctified body is one whose hands are clean. The stain of dishonesty is not on them, the withering blight of ill-gotten gain has not blistered them, the mark of violence is not found upon them. They have been separated from every occupation that could displease God or injure a fellow-man.

  • We always knew how to honor fallen soldiers. They were killed for our sake, they went out on our mission. But how are we to mourn a random man killed in a terrorist attack while sitting in a cafe? How do you mourn a housewife who got on a bus and never returned?

  • The soul of the slave, the soul of the "little man," is as dear to me as the soul of the great.

  • Ale, man, ale's the stuff to drink for fellows whom it hurts to think.