William Cosmo Monkhouse quotes

“There once was an old man of Lyme who married three wives at a time when asked, 'Why a third?' he replied 'One's absurd! and bigamy, sir, is a crime!'”
-- William Cosmo Monkhouse

Source : "There Once Was an Old Man of Lyme" l. 1 (date unknown)

#Men Quotes #Wife Quotes #Funny Marriage Quotes

“When I was one-and-twenty I heard a wise man say, `Give crowns and pounds and guineas But not your heart away; Give pearls away and rubies But keep your fancy free.' But I was one-and-twenty No use to talk to me. When I was one-and-twenty I heard him say again, `The heart out of the bosom Was never given in vain; 'Tis paid with sighs a plenty And sold for endless rue.' And I am two-and-twenty And oh, 'tis true, 'tis true.”

“There was the strangest combination of church influence against me. Baker is a Campbellite; and therefore, as I suppose with few exceptions, got all of that Church. My wife had some relations in the Presbyterian churches, and some in the Episcopal churches; and therefore, wherever it would tell, I was set down as either one or the other, while it was everywhere contended that no Christian ought to vote for me because I belonged to no Church, and was suspected of being a Deist and had talked of fighting a duel.”

“Finding a good band is Iike finding a good wife. You got to keep trying till you find the right one.”

“I want to say a little something that's long overdue, the disrespect to women has got to be through. To all the mothers and the sisters and the wives and friends, I wanna offer my love and respect till the end.”

Source : "Fictional character: MCA". "Beastie Boys: Video Anthology", www.imdb.com.

“May your wife and children get raped, right in the ass. (to the jurors who convicted her)”

“You have no idea of the women I didn't marry.”

Source : Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

“Bigamy is the only crime where two rites make a wrong.”

“It is now well known, however, that men enter local politics solely as a result of being unhappily married.”

“Sex when you're married is like going to the 7-Eleven: There's not much variety, but at three in the morning, it's always there.”

“And no bathroom on earth will make up for marrying a bearded man you hate.”