InspiringQuotes

Randy Glasbergen Quotes:

Randy Glasbergen quotes

Ocupation: Cartoonist

Life: b. 1957

famous quotes

What fits your busy schedule better, exercising one hour a day or being dead 24 hours a day?

Topics: Exercise, Schedules, Busy, One Hour, Busy Schedules

quote what fits your busy schedule better exercising one hour a day or being dead 24 hours randy glasbergen Quotes

Thank you for calling the Weight Loss Hotline. If you'd like to lose a half pound right now, press 1 eighteen thousand times.

Topics: Loss, Calling, Half

I think men were destined to become homemakers. After all, who ever heard of "Ms. Clean" or the "Woman from Glad"?

Topics: Sex, Men, Thinking, Homemaker

He gave me a copy of The Declaration of Independence, then he got a tattoo that says Give Me Liberty Or Give Me Death. I think my boyfriend wants his freedom.

Topics: Tattoo, Humorous, Thinking

These motivational tapes have really inspired me! I'm going to make a million dollars, buy my own company and retire early. Then, I'm going to write a novel and a symphony and give all the profits to charity. Then next month, I'll figure out how to do it.

Topics: Funny Inspirational, Writing, Symphony

Whenever I call a company and get put on hold, I never really feel like I'm being held.

Topics: Funny Work, Company, Feels

Thank you for calling customer service. If you're calm and rational, press 1. If you're a whiner, press 2. If you're a hot head, press 3

Topics: Funny, Calling, Hot, Whiners

It's called 'reading'.  It's how people install new software into their brains.

Topics: Reading, People, Brain

It's called 'reading'. It's how people install new software into their brains.

Topics: Reading, People, Brain

I learned about stress management from my kids. Every night after work, I drink some chocolate milk, eat sugary cereal straight from the box, then run around the house in my underwear screaming like a monkey.

Topics: Running, Stress, Kids, Stress Management, Chocolate Milk

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