Funny Inspirational famous quotes
03-23-2025
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Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, and dinner like a pauper.
-- Adelle Davis -
Most software today is very much like an Egyptian pyramid with millions of bricks piled on top of each other, with no structural integrity, but just done by brute force and thousands of slaves.
-- Alan Kay -
When someone says, "I want a programming language in which I need only say what I want done," give him a lollipop.
-- Alan Perlis -
Truth is what stands the test of experience.
-- Albert Einstein -
Nothing will benefit human health and increase the chances for survival of life on Earth as much as the evolution to a vegetarian diet.
-- Albert Einstein -
Nothing's changed my life more. I feel better about myself as a person, being conscious and responsible for my actions and I lost weight and my skin cleared up and I got bright eyes and I just became stronger and healthier and happier. Can't think of anything better in the world to be but be vegan.
-- Alicia Silverstone -
She watched the first episode and she was like, 'This is feminism?' And then by the end of the season, she was like, 'This is feminism.' The tone changed completely. She was really psyched about it.
-- Allison Williams -
Women tend to be problem solvers. We work together.
-- Amy Klobuchar -
I've always dreamed of growing up to be Amy Poehler.
-- Amy Poehler -
The poor wish to be rich, the rich wish to be happy, the single wish to be married, and the married wish to be dead.
-- Ann Landers -
I don't remember who said this, but there really are places in the heart you don't even know exist until you love a child.
-- Anne Lamott -
I consider that a man's brain originally is like a little empty attic, and you have to stock it with such furniture as you choose.
-- Arthur Conan Doyle -
For some strange reason, no matter where I go, the place is always called "here".
-- Ashleigh Brilliant -
To become truly great, one has to stand with people, not above them.
-- Baron de Montesquieu -
Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain - and most fools do.
-- Benjamin Franklin -
I will not retire while I've still got my legs and my make-up box.
-- Bette Davis -
Keep the other person's well being in mind when you feel an attack of soul-purging truth coming on.
-- Betty White -
You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
-- Bob Hope -
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.
-- Bob Hope -
Debugging is twice as hard as writing the code in the first place. Therefore, if you write the code as cleverly as possible, you are, by definition, not smart enough to debug it.
-- Brian Kernighan -
The data is clear: If you give a woman an opportunity, she will make a huge difference.
-- Carly Fiorina -
I don't have false teeth. Do you think I'd buy teeth like these?
-- Carol Burnett -
Why get married and make one man miserable when I can stay single and make thousands miserable?
-- Carrie Snow -
Here cometh April again, and as far as I can see the world hath more fools in it than ever.
-- Charles Lamb -
I'm a big health food freak and a vegetarian devotee.
-- Chelsea Clinton -
A sense of humor is the ability to understand a joke-and that the joke is oneself.
-- Clifton Fadiman -
Every sweet, humble young model is only one campaign away from becoming a fashion monster.
-- Coco Rocha -
Make [food] simple and let things taste of what they are.
-- Curnonsky -
Winning is everything. The only ones who remember you when you come second are your wife and your dog.
-- Damon Hill -
Note to self: When noticing flyaway hairs, do not use lip gloss as an 'on-the-go' hair gel.
-- Danica McKellar -
I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me.
-- Dave Barry -
Through the blur, I wondered if I was alone or if other parents felt the same way I did - that everything involving our children was painful in some way. The emotions, whether they were joy, sorrow, love or pride, were so deep and sharp that in the end they left you raw, exposed and yes, in pain. The human heart was not designed to beat outside the human body and yet, each child represented just that - a parent's heart bared, beating forever outside its chest.
-- Debra Ginsberg -
I sometimes think, would I drink the milk from the breast of a woman I don't know? No. So I think, why would I drink it from a cow?
-- Devon Aoki -
Women will never be as successful as men because they have no wives to advise them.
-- Dick Van Dyke -
Punctuality is one of the cardinal business virtues: always insist on it in your subordinates.
-- Don Marquis -
Computers are good at following instructions, but not at reading your mind.
-- Donald Knuth -
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proved it correct, not tried it.
-- Donald Knuth -
I’m glad we had the times together just to laugh and sing a song, seems like we just got started and then before you know it, the times we had together were gone.
-- Dr. Seuss -
If I were invited to a dinner party with my characters, I wouldn't show up.
-- Dr. Seuss -
So the writer who breeds more words than he needs, is making a chore for the reader who reads.
-- Dr. Seuss -
If debugging is the process of removing software bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in.
-- Edsger Dijkstra -
People are giving birth underwater now. They say it's less traumatic for the baby because it's under water. But it's certainly more traumatic for the other people in the pool.
-- Elayne Boosler -
Not since I was 10, trying to get Nick Vossler's attention in PE. 'Red Rover, Red Rover, send Nicholas right over!'
-- Elizabeth Olsen -
Women dress alike all over the world: they dress to be annoying to other women.
-- Elsa Schiaparelli -
All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.
-- Erma Bombeck -
Never abandon your dreams. You may regret it for the rest of your life.
-- Fabiola Gianotti -
Don't mind your make-up, you'd better make your mind up.
-- Frank Zappa -
The advantage of a bad memory is that one enjoys several times the same good things for the first time.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche -
Hegel was right when he said that we learn from history that man can never learn anything from history.
-- George Bernard Shaw -
The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.
-- George Bernard Shaw -
The average age (longevity) of a meat eater is 63. I am on the verge of 85 and still work as hard as ever. I have lived quite long enough and am trying to die; but I simply cannot do it. A single beef-steak would finish me; but I cannot bring myself to swallow it. I am oppressed with a dread of living forever. That is the only disadvantage of vegetarianism.
-- George Bernard Shaw -
It was not so very long ago that people thought that semiconductors were part-time orchestra leaders and microchips were very small snack foods.
-- Geraldine Ferraro -
The poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese.
-- Gilbert K. Chesterton -
I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch.
-- Gilda Radner -
When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.
-- Gracie Allen -
When you take the time to actually listen, with humility, to what people have to say, it's amazing what you can learn. Especially if the people who are doing the talking also happen to be children.
-- Greg Mortenson -
Good humor is a tonic for mind and body. It is the best antidote for anxiety and depression. It is a business asset. It attracts and keeps friends. It lightens human burdens. It is the direct route to serenity and contentment.
-- Grenville Kleiser -
I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
-- Groucho Marx -
Talent without discipline is like an octopus on roller skates. There's plenty of movement, but you never know if it's going to be forward, backwards, or sideways.
-- H. Jackson Brown, Jr. -
For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong.
-- H. L. Mencken -
A man always blames the woman who fools him. In the same way he blames the door he walks into in the dark.
-- H. L. Mencken -
When anybody laughs, he has no mind, no thought, no problem, no suffering.
-- H. W. L. Poonja -
Given a choice of weapons with you sir, I should choose grammar.
-- Halliwell Hobbes -
Readers are plentiful; thinkers are rare.
-- Harriet Martineau -
You put a baby in a crib with an apple and a rabbit. If it eats the rabbit and plays with the apple, I'll buy you a new car.
-- Harvey Diamond -
When you battle with your conscience and lose, you win.
-- Henny Youngman -
When you're out of willpower you call on stubbornness, that's the trick.
-- Henri Matisse -
The competitor to be feared is one who never bothers about you at all, but goes on making his own business better all the time.
-- Henry Ford -
Those who believe they can do something and those who believe they can't are both right.
-- Henry Ford -
If you are not your own doctor, you are a fool.
-- Hippocrates -
Everyone has a doctor in him or her; we just have to help it in its work. The natural healing force within each one of us is the greatest force in getting well. Our food should be our medicine. Our medicine should be our food. But to eat when you are sick, is to feed your sickness.
-- Hippocrates -
Let your food be your medicine, and your medicine be your food.
-- Hippocrates -
Natural forces within us are the true healers of disease.
-- Hippocrates -
The first law of dietetics seems to be: if it tastes good, it's bad for you.
-- Isaac Asimov -
If you owe the bank $100 that's your problem. If you owe the bank $100 million, that's the bank's problem.
-- J. Paul Getty -
Behold the turtle. He makes progress only when he sticks his neck out.
-- James Bryant Conant -
To me, there is no greater act of courage than being the one who kisses first.
-- Janeane Garofalo -
To solve the human equation, we need to add love, subtract hate, multiply good, and divide between truth and error.
-- Janet Coleman -
You know what they say when a supermodel gets pregnant? Now she's eating for one.
-- Jay Leno -
I don't think about it in terms of being a woman. Being gracious, attentive, curious, interested are requirements for everyone.
-- Jenna Lyons -
There are two ways to pass a hurdle: leaping over or plowing through... There needs to be a monster truck option.
-- Jeph Jacques -
While I was drying off Maddie after her bath tonight, she said, 'I love you' to me for the first time. It sounded like 'All lub boo,' but I didn't care. To reciprocate, I showed her what an ex-Marine looks like when he cries.
-- Jim Beaver -
Girls have got balls. They're just a little higher up, that's all.
-- Joan Jett -
To think is easy. To act is hard. But the hardest thing in the world is to act in accordance with your thinking.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe -
The full area of ignorance is not mapped. We are at present only exploring the fringes.
-- John Desmond Bernal -
More die in the United States of too much food than of too little.
-- John Kenneth Galbraith -
I ain't sleeping. I'm just taking a good look at the insides of my eyelids.
-- Jonathan Raban -
If you are afraid of being lonely, don't try to be right.
-- Jules Renard -
Humor is most powerful thing that uses laughter as it base to chase your blues away.
-- Kareena Kapoor -
My one goal when I started was not to actually vomit on TV or run away.
-- Kate McKinnon -
Sexism is so five minutes ago. I think for the most part, people accept that women are as competent as men.
-- Katie Couric
