Quotes and Sayings About Funny
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I walk up a dune to a beach and look out to sea, but it's 100km away. The ships lie askew in their dry beds, at anchor for ever. Today is my son's birthday. Thousands of miles from here, his healthy lungs are blowing out candles. I should be there but I'm here with another boy, who puts his face close to mine and laughs. I smile back but realise he can't see it, because I'm wearing an antiseptic muzzles to protect me from his breath.
-- A. A. Gill -
They're funny things, Accidents. You never have them till you're having them.
-- A. A. Milne -
In every American there is an air of incorrigible innocence, which seems to conceal a diabolical cunning.
-- A. E. Housman -
Freedom of the press is guaranteed only to those who own one.
-- A. J. Liebling -
The concept of two people living together for 25 years without a serious dispute suggests a lack of spirit only to be admired in sheep.
-- A. P. Herbert -
A man and his dog is a sacred relationship. What nature hath put together let no woman put asunder.
-- A. R. Gurney -
I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
-- A. Whitney Brown -
Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Kuwait.
-- A. Whitney Brown -
Most people's major life changes don't come from reading an article in the newspaper; they come from reading longer-form essays or thoughtful books, which are much more convincing and detailed.
-- Aaron Swartz -
Books are totally useless unless you take their advice. If you just keep reading them, thinking "that's so insightful! that changes everything," but never actually doing anything different, then pretty quickly the feeling will wear off and you'll start searching for another book to fill the void.
-- Aaron Swartz -
History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.
-- Abba Eban -
Avoid all needle drugs, the only dope worth shooting is Richard Nixon.
-- Abbie Hoffman -
True, a little learning is a dangerous thing, but it still beats total ignorance.
-- Abigail Van Buren -
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.
-- Abraham Lincoln -
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
-- Abraham Lincoln -
That's an interesting philosophical question. When your boner goes away, is that one gone... forever?
-- Adam Carolla -
I had two thoughts about it. One was I could do that, and the next one was I'll never get to do that.
-- Adam Carolla -
If you're a guy, you have absolutely no idea what's going on at any time in the relationship, ever. Here's what you know: you know when you're getting laid, and you know when it's all over. Those are the only two things you're aware of.
-- Adam Carolla -
I got drunk in Canada. I was there for 2 days but I was drunk there for 4 days. I don't know how it worked. I guess it was with the time difference or something.
-- Adam Carolla -
One day in the shower, you figure it out. It's a special day in a man's life. I was like, 'Oh, I found me a hobby.'
-- Adam Ferrara -
'Come out' is so funny to me because I've never been in.
-- Adam Lambert -
I don't want want to go to jail, I'm fragile.
-- Adam Sandler -
He has a 5 year plan... What is it, don't die?
-- Adam Sandler -
Man is an animal that makes bargains: no other animal does this - no dog exchanges bones with another.
-- Adam Smith -
Ignorance of the law excuses no man from practicing it.
-- Addison Mizner -
God gives us relatives; thank God, we can choose our friends.
-- Addison Mizner -
I have insecurities of course, but I don't hang out with anyone who points them out to me.
-- Adele -
A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist.
-- Adi Da -
It's hard to lead a cavalry charge if you think you look funny on a horse.
-- Adlai E. Stevenson -
Accuracy to a newspaper is what virtue is to a lady; but a newspaper can always print a retraction.
-- Adlai E. Stevenson