Drunk Quotes:

I filmed myself drunk, just to see what I'm like. I watched so many funny videos of people drunk on YouTube.

- Aaron Paul

source: Source: www.esquire.com

topic: People, Drunk, Video, Funny Videos

There's the really angry drunk, who's just annoying to be around. I prefer the drunk who falls all over the place and is being completely inappropriate. Or the super-loud, happy drunk, which is evidentially what I am.

- Aaron Paul

topic: Fall, Drunk, Annoying

Never argue with a drunk or a fool.

- Aaron Sorkin

topic: Drunk, Fool, Arguing

Summer is the time when one sheds one's tensions with one's clothes, and the right kind of day is jeweled balm for the battered spirit. A few of those days and you can become drunk with the belief that all's right with the world.

- Ada Louise Huxtable

source: Ada Louise Huxtable (2010). “On Architecture: Collected Reflections on a Century of Change”, p.462, Bloomsbury Publishing USA

topic: Summer, Clothes, Drunk, Summer Garden, Summer Inspirational

I got drunk in Canada. I was there for 2 days but I was drunk there for 4 days. I don't know how it worked. I guess it was with the time difference or something.

- Adam Carolla

topic: Funny, Differences, Drunk, Time Difference

A drunk tongue is an honest one in my opinion.

- Adele

source: "Booze helps Adele write songs". www.thesun.co.uk. April 5, 2016.

topic: Drunk, Tongue, Opinion

Bottled, was he?" Said Colonel Bantry, with an Englishman's sympathy for alcoholic excess. "Oh, well, can't judge a fellow by what he does when he's drunk? When I was at Cambridge, I remember I put a certain utensil - well - well, nevermind.

- Agatha Christie

topic: Sympathy, Judging, Drunk, Utensils, Colonels

No, my friend, I am not drunk. I have just been to the dentist, and need not return for another six months! Is it not the most beautiful thought? --Poirot

- Agatha Christie

topic: Beautiful, Drunk, Needs, Beautiful Thoughts, Dental

Friends don't let heads drive drunk!

- Al Snow

topic: Drunk

The best audience is one that is intelligent, well-educated, and a little drunk.

- Alben W. Barkley

topic: Intelligent, Drunk, Alcohol, Well Educated

To use the image of Che Guevara to sell vodka is a slur on his name and memory. He never drank himself, he was not a drunk, and drink should not be associated with his immortal memory... As a supporter of the ideals for which Che Guevara died, I am not averse to its reproduction by those who wish to propagate his memory and the cause of social justice throughout the world.

- Alberto Korda

topic: Memories, Names, Drunk, Slurs

Why should I trust you? We haven't drunk from the same bowl of soup.

- Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

topic: Trust, Drunk, Soup

The fact that a player is very short of time is to my mind, as little to be considered as an excuse as, for instance, the statement of the law-breaker that he was drunk at the time he committed the crime.

- Alexander Alekhine

topic: Player, Law, Drunk, Law Breakers

Drunk with beauty, I tore down Armfuls of blossoms. How desolate the marred sky!

- Alison Croggon

topic: Sky, Drunk

Be IN it. Get drunk in the moment.

- Alonzo King

topic: Drunk, Ballet, Moments

Bacchus, n.: A convenient deity invented by the ancients as an excuse for getting drunk.

- Ambrose Bierce

topic: Wine, Drunk, Deities, Bacchus, Getting Drunk

You know what the worst part about my drinking is? When I'm drunk I slur. You know, like I say racial slurs. Wow, nobody likes that at a barbeque.

- Amy Schumer

topic: Drinking, Drunk, Wow, Slurs

I have so strong a sense of creation, of tomorrow, that I cannot get drunk, knowing I will be less alive, less well, less creative the next day.

- Anais Nin

topic: Strong, Knowing, Drunk

As a rapper, I don't freestyle. I used to freestyle when I used to get drunk, and it didn't matter.

- Andre Benjamin

topic: Rapper, Drunk, Matter, Freestyle

It's your 21st birthday... What are you doing sober at the front row of a concert? Is it your 21st birthday? By the end of the night I promise... we will get you drunk, my friend.

- Andrew McMahon

topic: Night, Drunk, 21st Birthday

Henry shook his head, 'I was drunk,' he said, trying to sound both ashamed and firm in this belief. He remembered the rosebush incident very clearly, of course, but he knew that sneaking into the bedroom window of his fiancee's little sister wasn't something he wanted to explain to his father. Sometimes, Henry reflected, being taken for a perpetual drunk was sort of convenient.

- Anna Godbersen

topic: Father, Taken, Drunk, Fiancee

I became a Christian before I got sober. So I was a drunk, bulimic Christian.

- Anne Lamott

topic: Christian, Drunk, Sober

We are men on a budget. I mean, why go all the way to Amsterdam when you can just go to Harry Hines?

- Anthony Langston

topic: Mean, Men, Drunk

I feel like a drummer with no sticks and somebody keeps farting on my snare drum.

- Anthony Langston

topic: Drunk, Sticks, Drummer

Yeah Jesus could turn water in to wine, but he didn't share. Douche.

- Anthony Langston

topic: Jesus, Wine, Drunk, Douches

You can't kill rock and roll without a silver bullet because she's a werewolf.

- Anthony Langston

topic: Rocks, Rock And Roll, Drunk, Silver Bullets

You do not explain the tree by telling of the water it has drunk, the minerals it has absorbed, and the sunlight that strengthened it.

- Antoine de Saint-Exupery

topic: Water, Drunk, Tree, Minerals

If I had listened to the critics I'd have died drunk in the gutter

- Anton Chekhov

topic: Inspirational, Drunk, Gutters

In diabetes the thirst is greater for the fluid dries the body ... For the thirst there is need of a powerful remedy, for in kind it is the greatest of all sufferings, and when a fluid is drunk, it stimulates the discharge of urine.

- Aretaeus of Cappadocia

source: Therapeutics of chronic diseases II, Ch. II, 485-6

topic: Powerful, Drunk, Suffering

I'm not going to get drunk at a bar. There are younger girls who look up to me. So I do my best not to stray too far.

- Ashley Greene

topic: Girl, Drunk, Bars

I don't drink, and I don't smoke. It's a personal preference. My mom has never drunk or smoked. I look up to my mom.

- Ashley Tisdale

topic: Mom, Drunk, Looks, Personal Preferences

Promise me one thing: don't take me home until I'm drunk - very drunk indeed.

- Audrey Hepburn

topic: Home, Drunk, Promise, Breakfast At Tiffanys

I am prone to envy. It is one of my three default emotions, the others being greed and rage. I have also experienced compassion and generosity, but only fleetingly and usually while drunk, so I have little memory.

- Augusten Burroughs

topic: Memories, Compassion, Drunk

I dealt with men who had tempers, and who could get violent-Lord knows how I had to defend myself against Howard Hughes and Frank Sinatra, and from Artie Shaw's verbal abuse. But George [C. Scott] was a different category of animal when he got drunk. He'd break into my hotel room, which he did in Italy, London and at the Beverly Hills Hotel, attack me to where I was frightened for my life, and scream, 'Why won't you marry me?' Well, I would never marry a man who couldn't control his liquor. Me, I'm a happy drunk. I laugh, I dance. I certainly don't break bottles and threaten to kill.

- Ava Gardner

topic: Animal, Men, Drunk, Verbal Abuse

I love being in an arena that has like 10,000 people and huge crowds. I want to do a show at like the Viper room so badly. Like go up on stage and thrash myself around, go jump into the crowd. You can effing swear, get drunk on stage and do whatever you want basically.

- Avril Lavigne

topic: Love Is, People, Drunk, Vipers

When you can see the end of things even in their beginnings, there's no more hope, unless you want to pretend, or forget, or get drunk or something.

- Ayi Kwei Armah

source: Ayi Kwei Armah (1988). “The Beautyful Ones are Not Yet Born”, p.61, Heinemann

topic: Hope, Drunk, Want

Do It Under the Influence Yourself! That's what we're shooting for! Get drunk and make your dreams come true.

- Aziz Ansari

topic: Funny, Dream, Drunk

When you're drunk, you always think you're not. If you even drink at all don't get behind the wheel.

- Bam Margera

topic: Thinking, Drunk, Wheels

The true meaning of the precepts is not just that one should refrain from drinking alcohol, but also from getting drunk on nirvana.

- Bassui Tokusho

source: "Mud and Water: The Collected Teachings of Zen Master Bassui".

topic: Buddhist, Drinking, Drunk

Scott: Friends don't let friends drive drunk. Nora: Are you trying to appeal to my conscience? Scott: How can you turn down a once-in-a-lifetime chance to drive the 'Stang? Nora: How about you sell me the 'Stang for thirty dollars? I can even pay cash. Scott: Drunk, but not that drunk, Grey.

- Becca Fitzpatrick

topic: Drunk, Trying, Cash

If you just warn people, they often simply ignore you. But if you ask them a question, then they have to think about it. And once they start to think about the consequences, they almost always calm down. Unless they're drunk, of course. Or stoned. Or aged between fourteen and twenty-one. Or Glaswegian.

- Ben Aaronovitch

topic: Thinking, People, Drunk, Calm Down, Twenty One

I try not to drink too much because when I'm drunk, I bite.

- Bette Midler

topic: Drinking, Drunk, Perspective, Drinking Alcohol, Drinking Party

H. L Mencken's Dictionary of the American Language supplies a long list of slang terms for being drunk, but the Irish are no slouches, either. They're spannered, rat-arsed, cabbaged, and hammered; ruined, legless, scorched, and blottoed; or simply trolleyed or sloshed. In Kerry, you're said to be flamin'; in Waterford, you're in the horrors; and in Cavan, you've gone baloobas, a tough one to wrap your tongue around if you ARE baloobas. In Donegal, you're steamin', while the afflicted in Limerick are out of their tree.

- Bill Barich

topic: Long, Drunk, Tree, Limerick, Hammered

I found out water can be drunk straight.

- Billy Carter

topic: Water, Drunk, Moral

Coffee in Brazil is always made fresh and, except at breakfast time, drunk jet black from demitasses first filled almost to the brim with the characteristic moist, soft coffee sugar of the country, which melts five times as fast as our hard granulated. For breakfast larger cups are used, and they're more than half filled with cream. This cafe con leite doesn't re-quire so much sugar as cafe preto-black coffee.

- Bob Brown

topic: Country, Coffee, Drunk, Black Coffee

When I was at Upright Citizens Brigade, I would pretend to be a sad, drunk rapper.

- Bobby Moynihan

topic: Rapper, Drunk, Citizens

Unfortunately, a lot of people are stupid. They take drugs. They get drunk and do all the wrong things in life. I just played it straight.

- Bobby Vinton

topic: Stupid, People, Drunk

There's been times when I've been in really tough shape at the top of the course. Talk about a hard challenge right there. I mean, if you ever tried to ski when you're wasted, it's not easy. Try and ski a slalom when … you hit a gate less than every one a second, so it's risky, you know. You're putting your life at risk there. It's like driving drunk only there's no rules about it in ski racing.

- Bode Miller

source: "Miller on the carpet over drink-and-ski interview". Interview With Erica Bulman, www.theguardian.com. January 10, 2006.

topic: Mean, Drunk, Risk, Ski Racing

To get enough to eat was regarded as an achievement. To get drunk was a victory.

- Brendan Behan

topic: Beer, Drunk, Achievement

Only what we have lost forever do we possess forever. Only when we have drunk from the river of darkness can we truly see. Only when our legs have rotted off can we truly dance. As long as there is death, there is hope

- Brother Theodore

topic: Rivers, Long, Drunk

Life on the road can get a little one-dimensional. I didn't want to reach 40 and have to say all I'd done was look out the window of a tour bus and get drunk.

- Bruce Dickinson

topic: Journey, Drunk, Looks

If you don't think you've got the blues, just keep living, and if you don't think you're drunk, just keep drinking what you're drinking.

- Buddy Guy

topic: Drinking, Thinking, Drunk

I'm drunk. Correct. What the ***** is it to you?

- Calamity Jane

topic: Drunk

I didn't start MADD to deal with alcohol. I started MADD to deal with the issue of drunk driving.

- Candy Lightner

source: "MADD struggles to remain relevant". The Washington Times Interview, www.washingtontimes.com. August 6, 2002.

topic: Issues, Drunk, Alcohol, Drunk Driving

I never drank except a couple sips of wine at Thanksgiving.

- Carol Alt

topic: Couple, Wine, Drunk

I can't believe he didn't have the dignity and presence of mind just to get drunk and pass out in some gutter," said Jace. "I must say, I'm disappointed in the little fellow.

- Cassandra Clare

topic: Believe, Drunk, Mind, Presence Of Mind

One should always be drunk. That's all that matters...But with what? With wine, with poetry, or with virtue, as you chose. But get drunk.

- Charles Baudelaire

topic: Wine, Drunk, Matter, Wine Tasting, Drinking Too Much

So as not to feel the horrible burden of time that breaks your back and bends you to the earth, be endlessly drunk.

- Charles Baudelaire

topic: Drunk, Earth, Break

We have wasted History like a bunch of drunks shooting dice back in the men's crapper of the local bar.

- Charles Bukowski

topic: Men, Drunk, Bars, Efforts Wasted, Target Shooting

Getting drunk was good. I decided that I would always like getting drunk. It took away the obvious and maybe if you could get away from the obvious often enough, you wouldn't become so obvious yourself.

- Charles Bukowski

topic: Drunk, Enough, Obvious, Getting Drunk

I went to the worst of bars hoping to get killed but all I could do was to get drunk again.

- Charles Bukowski

topic: Suicide, Drinking, Drunk, Funny Drinking, Funny Alcohol

An American monkey, after getting drunk on brandy, would never touch it again, and thus is much wiser than most men.

- Charles Darwin

topic: Men, Drunk, Monkeys, Alcoholism, Brandy

The very dogs were all asleep, and the flies, drunk with moist sugar in the grocer's shop, forgot their wings and briskness, and baked to death in dusty corners of the window.

- Charles Dickens

topic: Dog, Wings, Drunk, Grocers

I believe that in your heart you already know something is profoundly wrong. When bartenders are responsible for drunk drivers' acts, and gunmakers are responsible for criminals' acts, and nobody is responsible for O. J. Simpson's acts, something is wrong.

- Charlton Heston

topic: Believe, Heart, Drunk, Bartender

I was never afraid of anything because I never hurt anyone. I was always an old drunk.

- Chavela Vargas

topic: Hurt, Fear, Drunk

The important thing is to be drunk.

- Chelsea Handler

topic: Drunk, Important

I don't drink. I choose to be sober now. I have drunk over the last six years, but I just don't want to be that person anymore.

- Chester Bennington

topic: Years, Drunk, Want

There's a joke in economics about the drunk who loses his keys in the street but only looks for them under the lightposts. When asked why, he says, 'because that's where the light is.' That's the problem with the deficit.

- Christina Romer

topic: Keys, Light, Drunk

If you make a fool of yourself in front of a cat, he will sneer at you, if you are sober; he will leave the room if you are drunk. If you make a fool of yourself in front a dog, he will make a fool of himself, too.

- Chuck Jones

topic: Dog, Cat, Drunk

There are two things to do in Juneau, drink and get drunk.

- Chuck Thompson

source: Chuck Thompson (2007). “Smile When You're Lying: Confessions of a Rogue Travel Writer”, p.15, Macmillan

topic: Two, Drunk, Drink

The only reason people go to bars is to get drunk and have sex. To me, bars are what hell is like.

- Clay Aiken

topic: Sex, People, Drunk

Because of the high altitude, you get drunk really fast. So everyone's drunk all the time.

- Clea DuVall

topic: Drunk

A bird in the boughs sang "June," And "June" hummed a bee In a Bacchic glee As he tumbled over and over Drunk with the honey-dew.

- Clinton Scollard

source: CLINTON SCOLLARD (1888). “OLD AND NEW WORLD LYRICS”

topic: Summer, June, Drunk

I'm too drunk to taste this chicken

- Colonel Sanders

topic: Drunk, Taste, Chickens, Funny Drinking, Funny Alcohol

He hated it when adults told him he only felt the way he did because he was young. As if being young was like being insane or drunk, like the convictions he held were hallucinations caused by a mental illness that could only be cured by waiting five years.

- Cory Doctorow

topic: Years, Drunk, Waiting

When I went out on tour as Bing Hitler I would hook up with Lenny and we'd get drunk together. He was always very supportive. He was a big star and a lot of what he said to me had power and impact. Apart from that, I just like him.

- Craig Ferguson

topic: Stars, Impact, Drunk, Hook Up

A man will part with anything so long as he's drunk, and you're drunk with him.

- D. H. Lawrence

topic: Men, Long, Drunk

Sometimes when you're drunk you can see better.

- Damien Hirst

topic: Drunk, Sometimes

Drink without getting drunk Love without suffering jealousy Eat without overindulging Never argue And once in a while, with great discretion, misbehave

- Dan Buettner

topic: Drunk, Suffering, Arguing, Getting Drunk

Here's how you know that you're really drunk: when you get into a taxi cab and you think the fare is the time.

- Dane Cook

topic: Drinking, Thinking, Drunk, Cab, Taxi Cabs

I was a savage for so many years of my life. There was some seed of determination in me that I was not conscious of. I was mostly consciously getting into trouble and drunk.

- Daniel Day-Lewis

topic: Determination, Years, Drunk

Nationalism ... is like cheap alcohol. First it makes you drunk, then it makes you blind, then it kills you.

- Daniel Fried

topic: Drunk, Alcohol, Firsts

I hope to go into a poem sober and come out a little drunk. And if I do then that's a real poem.

- Dannie Abse

source: "Susannah Herbert on Dannie Abse, the poetry judge". www.theguardian.com. September 29, 2014.

topic: Real, Drunk, Littles

The lancet fluke (Dicrocoelium) infects the brain of ants by taking control and driving them to climb to the top of a blade of grass where they can be eaten by a cow. The ingested fluke then lays eggs in the cow gut. Eventually, the eggs exit the cow, and hungry snails eat the dung (and fluke eggs). The fluke enters the snail's digestive gland and gets excreted in sticky slime full of a seething mass of flukes to be drunk by ants as a source of moisture.

- Darrel Ray

source: "The God Virus: How Religion Infects Our Lives and Culture". Book by Darrel Ray, 2009.

topic: Eggs, Drunk, Religion, Flukes, Glands

You're drunk, and I'm drunk, and I'm just exactly drunk enough to tell you anything you want to know. That's the kind of girl I am. If I like a person, I'll tell them anything they want to know. Just ask me. Go ahead, ask me.

- Dashiell Hammett

topic: Girl, Drunk, Want, Kind Of Girl

Here's a tip: never get drunk while wearing a hooded sweatshirt. You will eventually think there's someone right behind you.

- Dave Attell

topic: Thinking, Drunk, Behind You, Sweatshirts

Watching Phil Mickelson play golf is like watching a drunk chasing a balloon near the edge of a cliff.

- David Feherty

topic: Golf, Play, Drunk

Night clubs scare me. They're dark and they stink and they're dangerous and everybody's drunk.

- David Letterman

topic: Dark, Night, Drunk, Night Club

The sky was falling down on me and I spent most of the time drunk. It was the only way I could handle it.

- David Millar

topic: Fall, Sky, Drunk

Any drunk who has tried to put his car where a lamppost stands is a self-educated physicist.

- Dean Koontz

topic: Self, Drunk, Car, Odd Thomas

I was so drunk last night I fell down and missed the floor.

- Dean Martin

topic: Drinking, Night, Drunk, Last Night

Discover the times when you're most creative - mornings, nights, afternoons - and clear the time to work then. Many writers find the mornings are best, and the afternoons are only good for editorial corrections, or getting the washing done. Others can only work through the night, drunk.

- Deborah Moggach

topic: Morning, Night, Drunk, Corrections

Well I am still not drunk" I straightened up against the pillows as best I could. "You told me once that if you could still stand up, you weren't drunk." You aren't standing up." he point out. You are.

- Diana Gabaldon

topic: Drunk, Wells, Standing

Go to bed, you fool," Calcifer said sleepily. "You're drunk." "Who, me?" said Howl. "I assure you, my friends, I am cone sold stober." He got up and stalked upstairs, feeling for the wall as if he thought it might escape him unless he kept in touch with it. His bedroom door did escape him.

- Diana Wynne Jones

topic: Wall, Doors, Drunk, Calcifer, Cones

Tommy Dorsey was the last of the band leaders... He was ahead of his time; if he got drunk, he got difficult, but then who the hell isn't difficult when you get drunk.

- Dick Haymes

topic: Drunk, Leader, Band

I like best the wine drunk at the cost of others.

- Diogenes

topic: Wine, Drunk, Cost, Best Wine, Old Wine

As long as I could pitch a little, no one cared that I was getting drunk.

- Don Newcombe

topic: Long, Drunk, Littles, Getting Drunk

Alcoholism, tobacco, drunk driving, these things will always be with us. There's always going to be a certain percentage of any population that is addicted to certain substances.

- Don Winslow

source: "A Don Winslow on his amazing new book ‘The Cartel’ and America’s drug war". Interview with Drew Mcweeny, uproxx.com. July 01, 2015.

topic: Drunk, Population, Substance, Drunk Driving

Delia picked at the raw sores of her conscience...Drunk or sober, Delia lived in the small town in her heart, ignoring the world in which all her love had turned to grief.

- Dorothy Allison

topic: Grief, Heart, Drunk

It's around midnight. After I left Dad, my choice was to either become very drunk or write this. I chose to write this. It felt kind of now-or-never for me.

- Douglas Coupland

topic: Dad, Writing, Drunk, Now Or Never

People in England who do not like gardening are very few, and of the few there are, many do not own to it, knowing that they might just as well own to having been in prison, or got drunk at Buckingham Palace.

- E. M. Delafield

source: E. M. Delafield (2016). “Delphi Collected Works of E. M. Delafield (Illustrated)”, p.4805, Delphi Classics

topic: Knowing, People, Drunk, Buckingham Palace

God invented whiskey to keep the Irish from ruling the world.

- Ed McMahon

topic: Drunk, Ruling The World, Whiskey, Irish Drinking, Whiskey Drinking

I used to get drunk in venues after my shows and sign the walls "Ed was here." So if you see that, it was me.

- Ed Sheeran

topic: Wall, Drunk, Used

I'll be drunk again to feel a little love.

- Ed Sheeran

topic: Drunk, Littles, Little Love

Why didn't kill me it never made me stronger at all.

- Ed Sheeran

topic: Drunk, Stronger, Made

Without you to hold i'll be freezing.

- Ed Sheeran

topic: Drunk, Without You, Freezing

I wanna be drunk when I wake up, on the right side of the wrong bed.

- Ed Sheeran

topic: Drunk, Bed, Wake Up

I know you'll never love me like you used to.

- Ed Sheeran

topic: Drunk, Like You, Used

I'm not a drunk anymore, but since they cut out my tongue, I sound drunk.

- Eddie Van Halen

topic: Cutting, Drunk, Sound

The earth is convulsed with a universal sob, and the roads are muddy with tears. But I do not call to mind a more touching picture of unavailing misery and ruin, and hopeless chaos, than the plug hat that has endeavored to keep sober and maintain self-respect while its owner was drunk.

- Edgar Wilson Nye

topic: Self, Drunk, Touching, Drunkenness

A drink a day keeps the shrink away.

- Edward Abbey

source: Edward Abbey, R. Crumb (1985). “The Monkey Wrench Gang”, p.127, Dream Garden Press

topic: Drinking, Beer, Drunk, Funny Drinking, Bars Drinking

Oh, you crows! Feast away! What a spread! Soup straight from the eye sockets! And thick red sake! But don't have too much Or you'll surely get drunk.

- Eiji Yoshikawa

topic: Eye, Drunk, Crow

Only three types of people tell the truth: Kids, the drunk, and the angry.

- Elizabeth Reyes

topic: Kids, People, Drunk

It's nerve-wracking singing in front of people. I think that's why most people get drunk for karaoke.

- Emily Blunt

topic: Thinking, People, Drunk

He wanted all to lie in an ecstasy of peace; I wanted all to sparkle and dance in a glorious jubilee. I said his heaven would be only half alive; and he said mine would be drunk: I said I should fall asleep in his; and he said he could not breathe in mine.

- Emily Bronte

topic: Lying, Fall, Drunk, Jubilee

He is a drunkard who takes more than three glasses though he be not drunk.

- Epictetus

topic: Philosophical, Glasses, Drunk

Write drunk; edit sober.

- Ernest Hemingway

topic: Drinking, Writing, Drunk

I've always watched actors on the red carpet getting drunk and making idiots of themselves and now I'm happy to join their ranks

- Ethan Hawke

topic: Drunk, Actors, Red

Think of me as an impetuous Hegel, drunk with power, and also, regular drunk.

- Eugene Mirman

topic: Thinking, Drunk, Hegel, Impetuous

And in the end, we were all just humans...Drunk on the idea that love, only love, could heal our brokenness.

- F. Scott Fitzgerald

topic: Ideas, Drunk, Ends, Brokenness

I've been drunk for about a week now, and I thought it might sober me up to sit in a library.

- F. Scott Fitzgerald

topic: Book, Drunk, Library, Great Gatsby Book, Great Gatsby Gatsby

Here's to alcohol, the rose colored glasses of life.

- F. Scott Fitzgerald

topic: Drinking, Glasses, Drunk, Funny Drinking, Colored Glass

Something I tell my students is to read once; then if you still have problems with it, read it a second time. If you still have problems, get drunk and read it a third time... and you might get something out of it.

- Felix Gonzalez-Torres

topic: Education, Drunk, Might, Third Time

Any damn fool can navigate the world sober. It takes a really good sailor to do it drunk.

- Francis Chichester

topic: Drunk, World, Sailor, Mariners, Navigate

It amused me to think that one can tell the truth when one is drunk and nobody will believe it.

- Francoise Sagan

topic: Believe, Thinking, Drunk

All governments suffer a recurring problem: Power attracts pathological personalities. It is not that power corrupts but that it is magnetic to the corruptible. Such people have a tendency to become drunk on violence, a condition to which they are quickly addicted.

- Frank Herbert

topic: Government, People, Drunk

We see God and the devil making fools of each other, and we nurture in ourselves the absolutely unshakable conviction that both of them are drunk.

- Frank Wedekind

source: Frank Wedekind (2010). “Spring Awakening: A Play”, p.79, Macmillan

topic: Drunk, Devil, Fool

There is nothing left to do but get drunk.

- Franklin Pierce

topic: Drunk, Presidential

Written kisses don't reach their destination, rather they are drunk on the way by the ghosts.

- Franz Kafka

topic: Kissing, Drunk, Way

I doing casual labor by the day. They wouldn't pay you until the next morning. There was a bar that would cash your check if you bought a beer first. A lot of guys never left until they'd drunk up all their money.

- Fred Ward

topic: Morning, Beer, Drunk

Unlike some men, I had never drunk for boldness or charm or wit; I had used alcohol for precisely what it was, a depressant to check the mental exhilaration produced by extended sobriety.

- Frederick Exley

source: Frederick Exley (1997). “A Fan's Notes”

topic: Men, Drunk, Sobriety, Depressants, Exhilaration

Even an idle phone conversation when driving takes a 40 percent bite out of your focus and, surprisingly, can have the same effect as being drunk.

- Gary W. Keller

topic: Phones, Drunk, Focus, Being Drunk

If one must drink, then let one drink thrice a month, for more is bad. If one gets drunk twice a month, it is better; if one gets drunk once a month, that is better still; and if one doesn't drink at all, that is the best of all.

- Genghis Khan

topic: Drunk, Months, Drink

If unable to abstain from drinking, a man may get drunk three times a month; if he does it more than three times he is culpable; if he gets drunk twice a month it is better; if once a month, this is still more laudable; and if one does not drink at all what can be better? But where can I find such a man? If such a man were found he would be worthy of the highest esteem.

- Genghis Khan

topic: Drinking, Men, Drunk

I never went out in the morning with the intention of getting drunk. It just happened.

- George Best

topic: Morning, Drunk, Intention, Getting Drunk

I'd give all the champagne I've ever drunk to be playing alongside him in a big European match at Old Trafford.

- George Best

topic: Soccer, Drunk, Giving, Playing Football

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

- George Burns

topic: Clever, Drinking, Drunk, Liquor Funny, Drinking And Driving

I've never been drunk, but often I've been overserved.

- George Gobel

source: "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

topic: Drinking, Drunk, Day Drinking, Drinking Alcohol, Drinking Toast

My uncle was the town drunk - and we lived in Chicago.

- George Gobel

topic: Uncles, Drinking, Drunk

Peace was declared, but not all of us were drunk with joy or stricken blind.

- George Grosz

source: George Grosz (1982). “The autobiography of George Grosz: a small yes and a big no”

topic: Drunk, Joy, Blind

I lay my head on the wheel and the horn begins honking, the whole neighborhood knows that I'm home drunk again.

- George Jones

source: Song: If drinkin' don't kill me, Album: I Am What I Am

topic: Home, Drunk, Wheels, Honking, Social Taboos

Lastly, tea--unless one is drinking it in the Russian style--should be drunk WITHOUT SUGAR. I know very well that I am in a minority here. But still, how can you call yourself a true tea-lover if you destroy the flavour of your tea by putting sugar in it? It would be equally reasonable to put in pepper or salt. Tea is meant to be bitter, just as beer is meant to be bitter. If you sweeten it, you are no longer tasting the tea, you are merely tasting the sugar; you could make a very similar drink by dissolving sugar in plain hot water.

- George Orwell

topic: Drinking, Beer, Drunk, Sweet Tea

I wonder what the High Septon would have to say about the sanctity of oaths sworn while dead drunk, chained to a wall, with a sword pressed to your chest?

- George R. R. Martin

topic: Wall, Drunk, Wonder, Chests, Jaime Lannister

Never have I enjoyed youth so thoroughly as I have in my old age. In writing Dialogues in Limbo, The Last Puritan, and now all these descriptions of the friends of my youth and the young friends of my middle age, I have drunk the pleasure of life more pure, more joyful than it ever was when mingled with all the hidden anxieties and little annoyances of actual living. Nothing is inherently and invincibly young except spirit. And spirit can enter a human being perhaps better in the quiet of old age and dwell there more undisturbed than in the turmoil of adventure.

- George Santayana

topic: Adventure, Writing, Drunk

The generalizing writer is like the passionate drunk, stumbling into your house mumbling: I know I'm not being clear, exactly, but don't you kind of feel what I'm feeling?

- George Saunders

topic: Drunk, House, Feelings, Stumbling

Let's go and get drunk on light again - it has the power to console.

- Georges Seurat

topic: Light, Drunk, Drunkenness

Sir Richard sighed. "Rid yourself of the notion that I cherish any villainous designs upon your person," he said. "I imagine I might well be your father. How old are you?" "I am turned seventeen." "Well, I am nearly thirty," said Sir Richard. Miss Creed worked this out. "You couldn't possibly be my father!" "I am far too drunk to solve arithmetical problems. Let it suffice that I have not the slightest intention of making love to you.

- Georgette Heyer

topic: Father, Drunk, Design

It takes a while to tell stories, I think it's because I was drunk for three years.

- Gerard Way

topic: Thinking, Years, Drunk

I was somewhat drunk with what I had done. And I am always one to prefer being sober.

- Gertrude Stein

topic: Drunk, Done, Sober, Being Sober

Everybody get drunk and make bad decisions.

- Gilbert Arenas

source: "Top 11 D.C. Sports Moments of 2007". Gilbert Arenas' remarks at his 25th birthday party, voices.washingtonpost.com. 2007.

topic: Drunk, Decision, Bad Decision

Many people have played themselves to death. Many people have eaten and drunk themselves to death. Nobody ever thought himself to death.

- Gilbert Highet

source: Gilbert Highet (1976). “The Immortal Profession: The Joys of Teaching and Learning”, Random House Incorporated

topic: People, Drunk, Habit

You don't quite know how drunk you are until all of a sudden you're on the floor

- Gina Gershon

topic: Drunk

Let us be lazy in everything, except in loving and drinking, except in being lazy.

- Gotthold Ephraim Lessing

topic: Drinking, Drunk, Lazy, Loving Deeply, Being Lazy

One time when I was visiting The Vatican I got the Pope really drunk, and then while he was sleeping I put his hand in the holy water.

- Greg Benson

topic: Sleep, Hands, Drunk, Holy Water

Move somewhere with decent public transit so you don't drive drunk and hit somebody.

- Greg Gutfeld

topic: Moving, Drunk, Decent

I didn't want to be like a punch-drunk fighter, going around and reliving the big moment...

- Greg Noll

topic: Drunk, Want, Fighter

Imagination is like the drunk man who lost his watch and must get drunk again to find it.

- Guy Davenport

source: Guy Davenport (1997). “The Geography of the Imagination: Forty Essays”, p.5, David R. Godine Publisher

topic: Men, Drunk, Imagination, Drunk Man

I have written much less than most people who write; I have drunk much more than most people who drink.

- Guy Debord

topic: Writing, People, Drunk

I know some who are constantly drunk on books as other men are drunk on whiskey.

- H. L. Mencken

topic: Book, Men, Drunk, Whiskey And Love

I never played drunk. Hung over, yes, but never drunk.

- Hack Wilson

topic: Drunk, Hung

If you like to read, sometimes it's interesting just to go and see what the reality is, of the word, of the seedy or not so seedy fiction writer, the drunk or sober poet... Sometimes you can go looking for illumination.

- Harold Brodkey

topic: Reality, Illumination, Drunk

It is sometimes necessary for each person. Fill up with delicious food, get drunk, sing loudly and chat frivolously.

- Haruki Murakami

topic: Drunk, Sometimes, Delicious Food

There's nothing inherently interesting about being a drunk -- in fact, quite the contrary.

- Heather King

topic: Drunk, Interesting, Facts

A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says "You've been brought here for drinking." The drunk says "Okay, let's get started.

- Henny Youngman

topic: Drinking, Beer, Drunk

The old shepherd had died, or got drunk, or got rats, or got the sack, or a legacy, or got sane, or chucked it, or got lost, or found, or a wife, or had cut his throat, or hanged himself, or got into Parliament or the peerage anyway, anything had happened to him that can happen to an old shepherd or any other man in the bush, and he wasn't there.

- Henry Lawson

source: Henry Lawson (1984). “A Fantasy of Man: Henry Lawson Complete Works, 1901-1922”

topic: Cutting, Men, Drunk

A good book is always on tap; it may be decanted and drunk a hundred times, and it is still there for further imbibement.

- Holbrook Jackson

topic: Reading, Book, Drunk

You okay?" Anton asks, looking at me like he's trying to figure out if I'm drunk. His plans depend on me. I look as blank as possible and hope that it freaks him out. No point in my being the only miserable one.

- Holly Black

topic: Drunk, Trying, Looks

Everyone danced -- sweaty bodies packed tight, drunk with sound.

- Holly Black

topic: Drunk, Sound, Body

To get a traveling salesman drunk is the height of impossibility.

- Honore de Balzac

topic: Drunk, Height, Salesman

I can make some calls. There is a guy. Dagfinn Heyerdahl. He used to be with Norse Heritage Foundation." Norse Heritage Foundation wasn't so much about heritage as it was about viking, in the most cliché sense of the world. They drank huge quantities of beer, they brawled, and they wore horned helmets despite all historical evidence to the contrary. "Used to be?" Curran asked. "They kicked him out for being drunk and violent." Curran blinked. "The Norse Heritage?" "Mhm." "Don't you have to be drunk and violent just to get in?" he asked. "Just how disorderly did he get?

- Ilona Andrews

topic: Beer, Drunk, Guy, Despite, Being Drunk

There are plenty of alcoholics who can be magnificent when drunk: it does not make them any less alcoholic.

- Ingrid Bengis

topic: Drunk, Doe, Magnificent

Love, with very young people, is a heartless business. We drink at that age from thirst, or to get drunk; it is only later in life that we occupy ourselves with the individuality of our wine.

- Isak Dinesen

source: Isak Dinesen (2011). “Seven Gothic Tales”, p.83, Vintage

topic: Wine, People, Drunk, Best Wine, Wine And Age

It is better to be drunk with loss and to beat the ground, than to let the deeper things gradually escape.

- Ivy Compton-Burnett

topic: Loss, Drunk, Beats

I am not so think as you drunk I am.

- J. C. Squire

source: Poems (1926) "In continuation of Pope on Newton." Cf. Oxford Dictionary of Quotations (1979) 378:7

topic: Drinking, Thinking, Drunk

As far as I'm concerned the only thing to do is sit in a room and get drunk

- Jack Kerouac

topic: Wisdom, Drunk, Rooms

Don't drink to get drunk. Drink to enjoy life.

- Jack Kerouac

topic: Drinking, Drunk, Enjoy Life

As I grew older I became a drunk. Why? Because I like ecstasy of the mind.

- Jack Kerouac

topic: Drunk, Mind, Grew

Listening to radio was like group meditation or a moment of silence in church. You can't get the same effect with TV unless you're very drunk.

- Jackson Beck

topic: Art, Drunk, Silence, Moment Of Silence

The intense perfumes of the wild herbs as we trod them underfoot made us feel almost drunk.

- Jacqueline du Pre

topic: Drunk, Herbs, Intense

I try to stay two drinks ahead of reality and three behind a drunk

- James Crumley

source: James Crumley (2016). “The Last Good Kiss”, p.39, Vintage Crime/Black Lizard

topic: Reality, Two, Drunk

In short, if your body or mind Or your soul or your purse come to grief, You need only get drunk, and you'll find Complete and immediate relief.

- James Kenneth Stephen

source: James Kenneth Stephen (1909). “Lapsus Calami and Other Verses”

topic: Grief, Drunk, Soul

Of them all, it was the true love. Of them all, it was the best. That other sumptuous love which made one drunk, which one longed for, envied, believed in, that was not life. It was what life was seeking; it was a suspension of life. But to be close to a child, for whom one spent everything, whose life was protected and nourished by one's own, to have that child beside one, at peace, was the real, the deepest, the only joy.

- James Salter

source: James Salter (2011). “Light Years”, p.300, Vintage

topic: Children, Real, Drunk, Sumptuous, Suspension

The semi-colon is a burp, a hiccup. It's a drunk staggering out of the saloon at 2 a.m., grabbing your lapels on the way and asking you to listen to one more story.

- James Scott Bell

topic: Drunk, Asking, Stories, Hiccups, Grabbing

The guy's life drunk, I think, makes Candide look like a sourpuss. Does he even know that death exists?

- Jandy Nelson

topic: Witty, Thinking, Drunk, Candide

I spent so much of my younger life drinking, and being drunk makes learning to be a grown-up kind of hard.

- Jane Lynch

topic: Drinking, Drunk, Kind, Being Drunk

Get drunk, Austin, have a love affair. It would be a tragedy to die and discover that you hadn't completely used up your body.

- Jane Urquhart

topic: Drunk, Tragedy, Body

I rely on the promise, God is kind to women, fools, and drunk people.

- Jane Welsh Carlyle

source: Jane Welsh Carlyle, Thomas Carlyle (1887). “Letters and Memorials of Jane Welsh Carlyle”

topic: People, Drunk, Promise, Drunk People

Sage advice? If you're drunk, stay away from the phone. You can't get the answering machine message back.

- Janeane Garofalo

topic: Phones, Drunk, Advice, Answering Machines

Tabloids invoke freedom of speech, but they're not interested in that, they're just interested in who's shagging whom, who's got drunk. And if you take that pretend, faux moral standpoint, you end up with people in public life being completely boring. Like they've had their genitals removed.

- Jarvis Cocker

topic: People, Drunk, Freedom Of Speech, Faux, Shagging

Those who have been too long at their labor, who have drunk too long at the cup of voluptuousness, who feel they have become temporarily inhumane, who are tormented by their families, who find life sad and love ephemeral......they should all eat chocolate and they will be comforted.

- Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin

topic: Long, Drunk, Chocolate, Inhumane, Love And Sad

Those persons who suffer from indigestion, or who become drunk, are utterly ignorant of the true principles of eating and drinking.

- Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin

topic: Drinking, Drunk, Ignorant, Indigestion, Eating And Drinking

[In my bio] is no drunk driving, there's no DUI's, there's no possession of cocaine, none of that stuff so you know, I don't know if that's good or bad. Everybody loves dirty laundry.

- Jeff Dunham

topic: Dirty, Drunk, Dui, Bios, Dirty Laundry

It's not name dropping, but not many people can say, like me, that they spent the day with the likes of Francis Bacon or that boring drunk Dylan Thomas. You don't forget things like that.

- Jeffrey Bernard

topic: Names, People, Drunk, Name Dropping

Well, once you get involved with bloodsport litigation, you can not only get drunk on your own greed but start to believe your own lies.

- Jello Biafra

topic: Lying, Believe, Drunk

I love a massage and a bath. I don't drink - I'll have a sip, but I've never been drunk - and I don't smoke. I envy people who have those releases. They just have a drink or a cigarette, and they feel better. I have to brave it through the whole day on my own.

- Jennifer Lopez

topic: Feel Better, People, Drunk

So here I am. Twenty-eight years old, with thirty looming on the horizon. Drunk. Fat. Alone. Unloved. And, worst of all, a cliche, Ally McBeal and Bridget Jones put together, which was probably about how much I weighed...

- Jennifer Weiner

topic: Years, Eight, Drunk, Bridget Jones, Ally Mcbeal

Instructions for Adam Look after no one except yourself. Go to university and make lots of friends and get drunk. Forget your door keyes. Laugh. Eat pot-noodles for breakfast. Miss lectures. Be irresponsible.

- Jenny Downham

source: Jenny Downham (2007). “Before I Die”, David Fickling Books

topic: Doors, Laughing, Drunk

I may be known as the girl who was sunbathing topless with a Prince but Jordan is known as that thick girl who always falls out of clubs drunk. I know which one I prefer.

- Jenny Frost

topic: Girl, Fall, Drunk, Sunbathing

Michael Cole, what did you get for Christmas? Except drunk.

- Jerry Lawler

topic: Wwe, Drunk

Coffee, though a useful medicine, if drunk constantly will at length induce a decay of health , and hectic fever.

- Jesse Torrey

source: The Moral Instructor Pt IV, Sect. II, Ch. 10

topic: Coffee, Medicine, Drunk