Drunk quotes

  • I filmed myself drunk, just to see what I'm like. I watched so many funny videos of people drunk on YouTube.
    -- Aaron Paul

    #People #Drunk #Video

  • There's the really angry drunk, who's just annoying to be around. I prefer the drunk who falls all over the place and is being completely inappropriate. Or the super-loud, happy drunk, which is evidentially what I am.
    -- Aaron Paul

    #Fall #Drunk #Annoying

  • Never argue with a drunk or a fool.
    -- Aaron Sorkin

    #Drunk #Fool #Arguing

  • Summer is the time when one sheds one's tensions with one's clothes, and the right kind of day is jeweled balm for the battered spirit. A few of those days and you can become drunk with the belief that all's right with the world.
    -- Ada Louise Huxtable

    #Summer #Clothes #Drunk

  • I got drunk in Canada. I was there for 2 days but I was drunk there for 4 days. I don't know how it worked. I guess it was with the time difference or something.
    -- Adam Carolla

    #Funny #Differences #Drunk

  • A drunk tongue is an honest one in my opinion.
    -- Adele

    #Drunk #Tongue #Opinion

  • Bottled, was he?" Said Colonel Bantry, with an Englishman's sympathy for alcoholic excess. "Oh, well, can't judge a fellow by what he does when he's drunk? When I was at Cambridge, I remember I put a certain utensil - well - well, nevermind.
    -- Agatha Christie

    #Sympathy #Judging #Drunk

  • No, my friend, I am not drunk. I have just been to the dentist, and need not return for another six months! Is it not the most beautiful thought? --Poirot
    -- Agatha Christie

    #Beautiful #Drunk #Needs

  • Friends don't let heads drive drunk!
    -- Al Snow


  • The best audience is one that is intelligent, well-educated, and a little drunk.
    -- Alben W. Barkley

    #Intelligent #Drunk #Alcohol

  • To use the image of Che Guevara to sell vodka is a slur on his name and memory. He never drank himself, he was not a drunk, and drink should not be associated with his immortal memory... As a supporter of the ideals for which Che Guevara died, I am not averse to its reproduction by those who wish to propagate his memory and the cause of social justice throughout the world.
    -- Alberto Korda

    #Memories #Names #Drunk

  • Why should I trust you? We haven't drunk from the same bowl of soup.
    -- Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

    #Trust #Drunk #Soup

  • The fact that a player is very short of time is to my mind, as little to be considered as an excuse as, for instance, the statement of the law-breaker that he was drunk at the time he committed the crime.
    -- Alexander Alekhine

    #Player #Law #Drunk

  • Drunk with beauty, I tore down Armfuls of blossoms. How desolate the marred sky!
    -- Alison Croggon

    #Sky #Drunk

  • Oh you’re heist-drunk Kitty Kat. And you have been since the Henley.
    -- Ally Carter

    #Drunk #Kitties #Heist

  • Be IN it. Get drunk in the moment.
    -- Alonzo King

    #Drunk #Ballet #Moments

  • Bacchus, n.: A convenient deity invented by the ancients as an excuse for getting drunk.
    -- Ambrose Bierce

    #Wine #Drunk #Deities

  • You know what the worst part about my drinking is? When I'm drunk I slur. You know, like I say racial slurs. Wow, nobody likes that at a barbeque.
    -- Amy Schumer

    #Drinking #Drunk #Wow

  • I have so strong a sense of creation, of tomorrow, that I cannot get drunk, knowing I will be less alive, less well, less creative the next day.
    -- Anais Nin

    #Strong #Knowing #Drunk

  • As a rapper, I don't freestyle. I used to freestyle when I used to get drunk, and it didn't matter.
    -- Andre Benjamin

    #Rapper #Drunk #Matter

  • It's your 21st birthday... What are you doing sober at the front row of a concert? Is it your 21st birthday? By the end of the night I promise... we will get you drunk, my friend.
    -- Andrew McMahon

    #Night #Drunk #21st Birthday

  • Henry shook his head, 'I was drunk,' he said, trying to sound both ashamed and firm in this belief. He remembered the rosebush incident very clearly, of course, but he knew that sneaking into the bedroom window of his fiancee's little sister wasn't something he wanted to explain to his father. Sometimes, Henry reflected, being taken for a perpetual drunk was sort of convenient.
    -- Anna Godbersen

    #Father #Taken #Drunk

  • I became a Christian before I got sober. So I was a drunk, bulimic Christian.
    -- Anne Lamott

    #Christian #Drunk #Sober

  • We are men on a budget. I mean, why go all the way to Amsterdam when you can just go to Harry Hines?
    -- Anthony Langston

    #Mean #Men #Drunk

  • I feel like a drummer with no sticks and somebody keeps farting on my snare drum.
    -- Anthony Langston

    #Drunk #Sticks #Drummer

  • Yeah Jesus could turn water in to wine, but he didn't share. Douche.
    -- Anthony Langston

    #Jesus #Wine #Drunk

  • You can't kill rock and roll without a silver bullet because she's a werewolf.
    -- Anthony Langston

    #Rocks #Rock And Roll #Drunk

  • You do not explain the tree by telling of the water it has drunk, the minerals it has absorbed, and the sunlight that strengthened it.
    -- Antoine de Saint-Exupery

    #Water #Drunk #Tree

  • If I had listened to the critics I'd have died drunk in the gutter
    -- Anton Chekhov

    #Inspirational #Drunk #Gutters

  • In diabetes the thirst is greater for the fluid dries the body ... For the thirst there is need of a powerful remedy, for in kind it is the greatest of all sufferings, and when a fluid is drunk, it stimulates the discharge of urine.
    -- Aretaeus of Cappadocia

    #Powerful #Drunk #Suffering

  • I'm not going to get drunk at a bar. There are younger girls who look up to me. So I do my best not to stray too far.
    -- Ashley Greene

    #Girl #Drunk #Bars

  • I don't drink, and I don't smoke. It's a personal preference. My mom has never drunk or smoked. I look up to my mom.
    -- Ashley Tisdale

    #Mom #Drunk #Looks

  • Promise me one thing: don't take me home until I'm drunk - very drunk indeed.
    -- Audrey Hepburn

    #Home #Drunk #Promise

  • I am prone to envy. It is one of my three default emotions, the others being greed and rage. I have also experienced compassion and generosity, but only fleetingly and usually while drunk, so I have little memory.
    -- Augusten Burroughs

    #Memories #Compassion #Drunk

  • I dealt with men who had tempers, and who could get violent-Lord knows how I had to defend myself against Howard Hughes and Frank Sinatra, and from Artie Shaw's verbal abuse. But George [C. Scott] was a different category of animal when he got drunk. He'd break into my hotel room, which he did in Italy, London and at the Beverly Hills Hotel, attack me to where I was frightened for my life, and scream, 'Why won't you marry me?' Well, I would never marry a man who couldn't control his liquor. Me, I'm a happy drunk. I laugh, I dance. I certainly don't break bottles and threaten to kill.
    -- Ava Gardner

    #Animal #Men #Drunk

  • I love being in an arena that has like 10,000 people and huge crowds. I want to do a show at like the Viper room so badly. Like go up on stage and thrash myself around, go jump into the crowd. You can effing swear, get drunk on stage and do whatever you want basically.
    -- Avril Lavigne

    #Love Is #People #Drunk

  • When you can see the end of things even in their beginnings, there's no more hope, unless you want to pretend, or forget, or get drunk or something.
    -- Ayi Kwei Armah

    #Hope #Drunk #Want

  • Do It Under the Influence Yourself! That's what we're shooting for! Get drunk and make your dreams come true.
    -- Aziz Ansari

    #Funny #Dream #Drunk

  • When you're drunk, you always think you're not. If you even drink at all don't get behind the wheel.
    -- Bam Margera

    #Thinking #Drunk #Wheels

  • The true meaning of the precepts is not just that one should refrain from drinking alcohol, but also from getting drunk on nirvana.
    -- Bassui Tokusho

    #Buddhist #Drinking #Drunk

  • Scott: Friends don't let friends drive drunk. Nora: Are you trying to appeal to my conscience? Scott: How can you turn down a once-in-a-lifetime chance to drive the 'Stang? Nora: How about you sell me the 'Stang for thirty dollars? I can even pay cash. Scott: Drunk, but not that drunk, Grey.
    -- Becca Fitzpatrick

    #Drunk #Trying #Cash

  • Anthony raised his red plastic cup to me and shouted something, but it was too hard to hear over the music. “What?” I called back. “You look great!” A goofy smile was plastered on his face. “Oh boy,” Vee said. “Not just a pimp, but a smashed pimp.” “So maybe he’s a little drunk.” “Drunk and hoping to corner you alone in a bedroom upstairs.” Ugh.
    -- Becca Fitzpatrick

    #Boys #Drunk #Pimp

  • If you just warn people, they often simply ignore you. But if you ask them a question, then they have to think about it. And once they start to think about the consequences, they almost always calm down. Unless they're drunk, of course. Or stoned. Or aged between fourteen and twenty-one. Or Glaswegian.
    -- Ben Aaronovitch

    #Thinking #People #Drunk

  • I try not to drink too much because when I'm drunk, I bite.
    -- Bette Midler

    #Drinking #Drunk #Perspective

  • H. L Mencken's Dictionary of the American Language supplies a long list of slang terms for being drunk, but the Irish are no slouches, either. They're spannered, rat-arsed, cabbaged, and hammered; ruined, legless, scorched, and blottoed; or simply trolleyed or sloshed. In Kerry, you're said to be flamin'; in Waterford, you're in the horrors; and in Cavan, you've gone baloobas, a tough one to wrap your tongue around if you ARE baloobas. In Donegal, you're steamin', while the afflicted in Limerick are out of their tree.
    -- Bill Barich

    #Long #Drunk #Tree

  • I found out water can be drunk straight.
    -- Billy Carter

    #Water #Drunk #Moral

  • Coffee in Brazil is always made fresh and, except at breakfast time, drunk jet black from demitasses first filled almost to the brim with the characteristic moist, soft coffee sugar of the country, which melts five times as fast as our hard granulated. For breakfast larger cups are used, and they're more than half filled with cream. This cafe con leite doesn't re-quire so much sugar as cafe preto-black coffee.
    -- Bob Brown

    #Country #Coffee #Drunk

  • When I was at Upright Citizens Brigade, I would pretend to be a sad, drunk rapper.
    -- Bobby Moynihan

    #Rapper #Drunk #Citizens

  • Unfortunately, a lot of people are stupid. They take drugs. They get drunk and do all the wrong things in life. I just played it straight.
    -- Bobby Vinton

    #Stupid #People #Drunk

  • There's been times when I've been in really tough shape at the top of the course. Talk about a hard challenge right there. I mean, if you ever tried to ski when you're wasted, it's not easy. Try and ski a slalom when … you hit a gate less than every one a second, so it's risky, you know. You're putting your life at risk there. It's like driving drunk only there's no rules about it in ski racing.
    -- Bode Miller

    #Mean #Drunk #Risk

  • To get enough to eat was regarded as an achievement. To get drunk was a victory.
    -- Brendan Behan

    #Beer #Drunk #Achievement

  • Only what we have lost forever do we possess forever. Only when we have drunk from the river of darkness can we truly see. Only when our legs have rotted off can we truly dance. As long as there is death, there is hope
    -- Brother Theodore

    #Rivers #Long #Drunk

  • Life on the road can get a little one-dimensional. I didn't want to reach 40 and have to say all I'd done was look out the window of a tour bus and get drunk.
    -- Bruce Dickinson

    #Journey #Drunk #Looks

  • If you don't think you've got the blues, just keep living, and if you don't think you're drunk, just keep drinking what you're drinking.
    -- Buddy Guy

    #Drinking #Thinking #Drunk

  • I'm drunk. Correct. What the ***** is it to you?
    -- Calamity Jane


  • I didn't start MADD to deal with alcohol. I started MADD to deal with the issue of drunk driving.
    -- Candy Lightner

    #Issues #Drunk #Alcohol

  • Then I figured it would be a good plan to hire a few sailors to work for me, get them out to my yacht, get them drunk, commit sodomy on them, rob them and then kill them. This I done.
    -- Carl Panzram

    #Drunk #Would Be #Done

  • I never drank except a couple sips of wine at Thanksgiving.
    -- Carol Alt

    #Couple #Wine #Drunk

  • I can't believe he didn't have the dignity and presence of mind just to get drunk and pass out in some gutter," said Jace. "I must say, I'm disappointed in the little fellow.
    -- Cassandra Clare

    #Believe #Drunk #Mind

  • One should always be drunk. That's all that matters...But with what? With wine, with poetry, or with virtue, as you chose. But get drunk.
    -- Charles Baudelaire

    #Wine #Drunk #Matter

  • So as not to feel the horrible burden of time that breaks your back and bends you to the earth, be endlessly drunk.
    -- Charles Baudelaire

    #Drunk #Earth #Break

  • We have wasted History like a bunch of drunks shooting dice back in the men's crapper of the local bar.
    -- Charles Bukowski

    #Men #Drunk #Bars

  • Getting drunk was good. I decided that I would always like getting drunk. It took away the obvious and maybe if you could get away from the obvious often enough, you wouldn't become so obvious yourself.
    -- Charles Bukowski

    #Drunk #Enough #Obvious

  • I went to the worst of bars hoping to get killed but all I could do was to get drunk again.
    -- Charles Bukowski

    #Suicide #Drinking #Drunk

  • An American monkey, after getting drunk on brandy, would never touch it again, and thus is much wiser than most men.
    -- Charles Darwin

    #Men #Drunk #Monkeys

  • The very dogs were all asleep, and the flies, drunk with moist sugar in the grocer's shop, forgot their wings and briskness, and baked to death in dusty corners of the window.
    -- Charles Dickens

    #Dog #Wings #Drunk

  • I believe that in your heart you already know something is profoundly wrong. When bartenders are responsible for drunk drivers' acts, and gunmakers are responsible for criminals' acts, and nobody is responsible for O. J. Simpson's acts, something is wrong.
    -- Charlton Heston

    #Believe #Heart #Drunk

  • I was never afraid of anything because I never hurt anyone. I was always an old drunk.
    -- Chavela Vargas

    #Hurt #Fear #Drunk

  • The important thing is to be drunk.
    -- Chelsea Handler

    #Drunk #Important

  • I don't drink. I choose to be sober now. I have drunk over the last six years, but I just don't want to be that person anymore.
    -- Chester Bennington

    #Years #Drunk #Want

  • There's a joke in economics about the drunk who loses his keys in the street but only looks for them under the lightposts. When asked why, he says, 'because that's where the light is.' That's the problem with the deficit.
    -- Christina Romer

    #Keys #Light #Drunk

  • If you make a fool of yourself in front of a cat, he will sneer at you, if you are sober; he will leave the room if you are drunk. If you make a fool of yourself in front a dog, he will make a fool of himself, too.
    -- Chuck Jones

    #Dog #Cat #Drunk

  • There are two things to do in Juneau, drink and get drunk.
    -- Chuck Thompson

    #Two #Drunk #Drink

  • The only reason people go to bars is to get drunk and have sex. To me, bars are what hell is like.
    -- Clay Aiken

    #Sex #People #Drunk

  • Because of the high altitude, you get drunk really fast. So everyone's drunk all the time.
    -- Clea DuVall


  • A bird in the boughs sang "June," And "June" hummed a bee In a Bacchic glee As he tumbled over and over Drunk with the honey-dew.
    -- Clinton Scollard

    #Summer #June #Drunk

  • I'm too drunk to taste this chicken
    -- Colonel Sanders

    #Drunk #Taste #Chickens

  • He hated it when adults told him he only felt the way he did because he was young. As if being young was like being insane or drunk, like the convictions he held were hallucinations caused by a mental illness that could only be cured by waiting five years.
    -- Cory Doctorow

    #Years #Drunk #Waiting

  • When I went out on tour as Bing Hitler I would hook up with Lenny and we'd get drunk together. He was always very supportive. He was a big star and a lot of what he said to me had power and impact. Apart from that, I just like him.
    -- Craig Ferguson

    #Stars #Impact #Drunk

  • A man will part with anything so long as he's drunk, and you're drunk with him.
    -- D. H. Lawrence

    #Men #Long #Drunk

  • Sometimes when you're drunk you can see better.
    -- Damien Hirst

    #Drunk #Sometimes

  • Drink without getting drunk Love without suffering jealousy Eat without overindulging Never argue And once in a while, with great discretion, misbehave
    -- Dan Buettner

    #Drunk #Suffering #Arguing

  • Here's how you know that you're really drunk: when you get into a taxi cab and you think the fare is the time.
    -- Dane Cook

    #Drinking #Thinking #Drunk

  • I was a savage for so many years of my life. There was some seed of determination in me that I was not conscious of. I was mostly consciously getting into trouble and drunk.
    -- Daniel Day-Lewis

    #Determination #Years #Drunk

  • Nationalism ... is like cheap alcohol. First it makes you drunk, then it makes you blind, then it kills you.
    -- Daniel Fried

    #Drunk #Alcohol #Firsts

  • I hope to go into a poem sober and come out a little drunk. And if I do then that's a real poem.
    -- Dannie Abse

    #Real #Drunk #Littles

  • The lancet fluke (Dicrocoelium) infects the brain of ants by taking control and driving them to climb to the top of a blade of grass where they can be eaten by a cow. The ingested fluke then lays eggs in the cow gut. Eventually, the eggs exit the cow, and hungry snails eat the dung (and fluke eggs). The fluke enters the snail's digestive gland and gets excreted in sticky slime full of a seething mass of flukes to be drunk by ants as a source of moisture.
    -- Darrel Ray

    #Eggs #Drunk #Religion

  • You're drunk, and I'm drunk, and I'm just exactly drunk enough to tell you anything you want to know. That's the kind of girl I am. If I like a person, I'll tell them anything they want to know. Just ask me. Go ahead, ask me.
    -- Dashiell Hammett

    #Girl #Drunk #Want

  • Here's a tip: never get drunk while wearing a hooded sweatshirt. You will eventually think there's someone right behind you.
    -- Dave Attell

    #Thinking #Drunk #Behind You

  • Watching Phil Mickelson play golf is like watching a drunk chasing a balloon near the edge of a cliff.
    -- David Feherty

    #Golf #Play #Drunk

  • Night clubs scare me. They're dark and they stink and they're dangerous and everybody's drunk.
    -- David Letterman

    #Dark #Night #Drunk

  • The sky was falling down on me and I spent most of the time drunk. It was the only way I could handle it.
    -- David Millar

    #Fall #Sky #Drunk

  • Any drunk who has tried to put his car where a lamppost stands is a self-educated physicist.
    -- Dean Koontz

    #Self #Drunk #Car

  • I was so drunk last night I fell down and missed the floor.
    -- Dean Martin

    #Drinking #Night #Drunk

  • Discover the times when you're most creative - mornings, nights, afternoons - and clear the time to work then. Many writers find the mornings are best, and the afternoons are only good for editorial corrections, or getting the washing done. Others can only work through the night, drunk.
    -- Deborah Moggach

    #Morning #Night #Drunk

  • Well I am still not drunk" I straightened up against the pillows as best I could. "You told me once that if you could still stand up, you weren't drunk." You aren't standing up." he point out. You are.
    -- Diana Gabaldon

    #Drunk #Wells #Standing

  • Go to bed, you fool," Calcifer said sleepily. "You're drunk." "Who, me?" said Howl. "I assure you, my friends, I am cone sold stober." He got up and stalked upstairs, feeling for the wall as if he thought it might escape him unless he kept in touch with it. His bedroom door did escape him.
    -- Diana Wynne Jones

    #Wall #Doors #Drunk

  • Tommy Dorsey was the last of the band leaders... He was ahead of his time; if he got drunk, he got difficult, but then who the hell isn't difficult when you get drunk.
    -- Dick Haymes

    #Drunk #Leader #Band

  • I like best the wine drunk at the cost of others.
    -- Diogenes

    #Wine #Drunk #Cost

  • As long as I could pitch a little, no one cared that I was getting drunk.
    -- Don Newcombe

    #Long #Drunk #Littles