quotes about Monkeys
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When a monkey nibbles on a weenis, it's funny in any language.
-- Alan Garner -
Before every action ask yourself. Will this bring more monkeys on my back. Will the result of my action be a blessing or a heavy burden?
-- Alfred Armand MontapertSource : Alfred Armand Montapert (1986). “Pray to Win!: A Blueprint for Success”, Value Pub.
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When you're dealing with monkeys, you've got to expect some wrenches.
-- Alvah Bessie -
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Millions and millions of exuberant monkeys are creating an endless digital forest of mediocrity.
-- Andrew KeenSource : "The Cult of the Amateur". Book by Andrew Keen, June 5, 2007.
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I am not going to spend any time whatsoever in attacking the Foreign Secretary. If we complain about the tune, there is no reason to attack the monkey when the organ grinder is present.
-- Aneurin Bevan -
Why should I question the monkey when I can question the organ grinder.
-- Aneurin Bevan -
You can get the monkey off your back, but the circus never leaves town
-- Anne Lamott -
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I was like a packet of powdered Sea Monkeys and they were like water.
-- Augusten Burroughs -
I saw a monkey walking on a leash and thought it was an ugly foreign child.
-- Augusten Burroughs -
You never monkey with the truth.
-- Ben BradleeSource : "Watergate: 25 Years Later". Online discussion, www.washingtonpost.com. June 17, 1997.
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God likes a little humor, as is evidence by the fact that he made the monkeys, the parrot -- and some of you people.
-- Billy Sunday -
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Little red wagon, little red bike, I ain’t no monkey but I know what I like.
-- Bob Dylan -
Artists are not your art monkeys. They are your collaborators. They should be given all due consideration to follow their journey.
-- Brian Michael Bendis -
The fact that there are bigger injustices and wrongs doesn't make it right to sacrifice an innocent monkey. It doesn't alter the case at all.
-- Brigid Brophy -
A blindfolded monkey throwing darts at a newspaper's financial pages could select a portfolio that would do just as well as one carefully selected by experts,
-- Burton MalkielSource : Burton G. Malkiel (2007). “A Random Walk Down Wall Street: The Time-Tested Strategy for Successful Investing”, p.24, W. W. Norton & Company
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Silence is of the gods; only monkeys chatter.
-- Buster KeatonSource : "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.
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In Mozambique, the story goes, monkeys do not talk, because they know if they utter even a single word some man will come and put them to work.
-- Carl Sagan -
An American monkey, after getting drunk on brandy, would never touch it again, and thus is much wiser than most men.
-- Charles Darwin -
We are ashamed at the sight of a monkey--somehow as we are shy of poor relations.
-- Charles Lamb -
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Somebody give me a banana. I'm playing like a monkey, so I might as well eat like one.
-- Chi Chi Rodriguez -
[monkeys] are used only when no other species and no alternatice approach can provide the answers to questions about such conditions as Alzhemers, stroke, Parkinson's, spinal injury, hormone disorders, and vaccines for HIV
-- Colin Blakemore -
Cardboard cutouts of cheerleaders operated by arthritic monkeys would move more fluidly.
-- Courtney SummersSource : Courtney Summers (2013). “What Goes Around: Two Books In One: Cracked Up to Be & Some Girls Are”, p.34, Macmillan
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My way of learning is to heave a wild and unpredictable monkey-wrench into the machinery.
-- Dashiell HammettSource : Dashiell Hammett (2010). “The Maltese Falcon”, p.95, Vintage Crime/Black Lizard
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You monkeys only think you’re running things,
-- Dennis McKenna -
A few months ago, I had the pleasure of actually visiting the Playboy Mansion. I saw the peacocks, fed grapes to the monkeys, and even braved the fabled Grotto. After seeing the estate, I understood why anyone would be reluctant to leave.
-- Diablo Cody -
Keep your sense of humor. As General Joe Stillwell said, 'The higher a monkey climbs, the more you see of his behind'.
-- Donald Rumsfeld -
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Don't sell your soul to buy peanuts for the monkeys.
-- Dorothy Salisbury DavisSource : Dorothy Salisbury Davis (2014). “A Gentle Murderer”, p.196, Open Road Media
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Of course there is a monkey. There is always a monkey.
-- Doug Dorst -
With the tiger you're always on edge, and you always have to keep your distance. The monkey is far less threatening so you're more relaxed around the monkey, and I think that's actually hazardous.
-- Ed Helms -
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Guns don't kill people, people kill people, and monkeys do too (if they have a gun).
-- Eddie IzzardSource : Twitter post from Aug 24, 2014
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Everybody knows that fanaticism is religion caricatured; bears, indeed, about the same relation to it that a monkey bears to a man; yet, with many, contempt of fanaticism is received as a sure sign of hostility to religion.
-- Edwin Percy WhippleSource : Edwin Percy Whipple (1851). “Literature and life, lects”, p.68
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One dies only if he's not anymore in the hearts and minds of those who know him. - Monkey D. Luffy
-- Eiichiro Oda -
I'll direct any movie starring a monkey or the Olsen Twins. Preferably both.
-- Eli Roth -
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I loved Super-Monkey; always wanted to do something with him but it never happened.
-- Elliot S. MagginSource : Online Chat, www.cbr.com. October 19, 2005.
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In Africa, you know, if you're poor, at least you can go to the forest and share some mangoes with the gorillas and monkey.
-- Emmanuel Jal -
Nobody can make a monkey out of anyone who isn't a monkey to start with.
-- Esther ForbesSource : Esther Forbes (1998). “Johnny Tremain”, p.178, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt
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It is more comfortable to feel that we are a slight improvement on a monkey than such a fallin' off from the angels.
-- Finley Peter Dunne -
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What we must do is start viewing every cow, pig, chicken, monkey, rabbit, mouse, and pigeon as our family members.
-- Gary Yourofsky -
Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.
-- George Carlin -
If the monkeys had been concerned only with monkey Beings they would never have become men.
-- Harry HootonSource : Harry Hooton (1961). “It is Great to be Alive”
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The poor monkey, quietly seated on the ground, seemed to be in sore trouble at this display of anger.
-- Henry Walter BatesSource : Henry Walter Bates (1873). “The Naturalist on the River Amazons: A Record of Adventures, Habits of Animals, Sketches of Brazilian and Indian Life, and Aspects of Nature Under the Equator, During Eleven Years of Travel”, p.129
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There's a statistical theory that if you gave a million monkeys typewriters and set them to work, they'd eventually come up with the complete works of Shakespeare. Thanks to the Internet, we now know this isn't true.
-- Ian HartSource : 2001 In the Sunday Herald, 30 Dec.
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A century ago, people laughed at the notion that we were descended from monkeys. Today, the individuals most offended by that claim are the monkeys.
-- Jacob M. Appel -
How was your day?" Morelli asked me. "Oh, you know, the usual. Stole a truck. Blew up a building, and brought seven monkeys home with me.
-- Janet Evanovich -
A monkey is a much better voter than a socialist. Statistically speaking, if we assume that there are two options to choose from: the "A" and the "B" - the monkey is voting randomly, so its wrong 50% of the time. The socialist, however - is always wrong.
-- Janusz Korwin-MikkeSource : Blog, November 7, 2008.
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Paleontologists do not have to search for famous "missing link" from which humans supposedly came, and current great apes. This link is simply the socialist - because he has both monkey genes.
-- Janusz Korwin-MikkeSource : Najwyższy Czas! magazine, January 03, 2008.
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I really would not call myself a fashion icon. I would call myself somebody who gets dressed by professionals...I would call me more of a monkey.
-- Jennifer Lawrence -
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A misfit like me getting anywhere in Hollywood as I somehow have, seemed, certainly at the time of 'Spanking The Monkey,' kind of out of reach, or not a very realistic take.
-- Jeremy DaviesSource : Interview with Nathan Rabin, film.avclub.com. November 21, 2007.
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THERE'S NO MONKEY BUSINESS ABOUT THIS ELECTION,' he told the voters. 'IF YOU'RE ENOUGH OF AN ASSHOLE TO VOTE FOR NIXON, YOUR DUMB VOTE WILL BE COUNTED––JUST LIKE ANYBODY ELSE!
-- John Irving -
I'd be a dog, a monkey, or a bear, or anything but that vain animal who is so proud of being rational.
-- John WilmotSource : John Wilmot, Earl of Rochester (2006). “The Complete Poems of John Wilmot, the Earl of Rochester”, p.23, Filiquarian Publishing, LLC.
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Harlow would later write, "If monkeys have taught us anything, it's that you've got to learn how to love before you learn how to live.
-- Jonah Lehrer -
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The higher a monkey climbs, the more you see of its behind.
-- Joseph Stilwell -
A meeting is an event at which the minutes are kept and the hours are lost. She should go far. The sooner she starts, the better. The higher a monkey climbs, the more you see of its behind.
-- Joseph Stilwell -
My first attempts to transmit typhus to laboratory animals, including the smaller species of monkeys, had failed, as had those of my predecessors, for reasons which I can easily supply today
-- Jules Henry -
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It wouldn't happen... There hasn't been one publication by a monkey
-- Karl Pilkington -
Wearing a monkey suit really lets you know where you stand as an actor.
-- Kelly StablesSource : Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.
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I want you to recognize that I'm a proud monkey.
-- Kendrick Lamar -
Monkeys who very sensibly refrain from speech, lest they should be set to earn their livings.
-- Kenneth Grahame -
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It does get old to have to always be a monkey in a zoo. I don't know what it's like any more to be anonymous.
-- Kevin Bacon -
Obama always goes reckless in words and deeds like a monkey in a tropical forest.
-- Kim Jong-un -
A monkey was carrying two handfuls of peas. One little pea dropped out. He tried to pick it up, and split twenty. He tried to pick up the twenty, and split them all. Then he lost his temper, scattered the peas in all directions and ran away
-- Leo Tolstoy -
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It was just a kiss – " "Yeah, and King Kong was just a monkey.
-- Linda Howard -
An infinite number of monkeys typing into GNU emacs would never make a good program.
-- Linus Torvalds -
I am not nearly so interested in what monkey man was derived from as I am in what kind of monkey he is to become.
-- Loren Eiseley -
It is a lot better to come from an evolved monkey than from a fallen angel.
-- Marcellin Boule -
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God, George Bush makes me want to slash my wrists. He's so embarrassing I have to leave the room when he's on the news. What a monkey.
-- Margot Kidder -
What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed in the monkey.
-- Mark Twain -
Working with any actor is like working with a monkey.
-- Marlon Brando -
Year by year, the monkey's mask reveals the monkey
-- Matsuo Basho -
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A monkey could drive this train.
-- Meg WhitmanSource : "EBay Bids on a New Path to Growth" by Verne G. Kopytoff, www.nytimes.com. February 06, 2011.
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Don't stop doing what you love. Don't let your future be ruined by a bunch of loony sand monkeys.
-- Megan McCafferty -
A woman has to look good, but a man—a little bit nicer looking than a monkey is enough.
-- Meir Shalev -
You are quite correct in saying that I banned the export of monkeys on a humanitarian basis and not because the number was lessening. I believe in preventing cruelty to all living beings in any form.
-- Morarji DesaiSource : Morarji Desai's speech at the 19th World Vegetarian Congress held at Mavhmkar Auditorium of Rafi Marg in New Delhi, India (November 18, 1967), later published in The British Vegetarian, March/April 1968.
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In any case, [y]ou can't teach a monkey to speak and you can't teach an Arab to be democratic. You're dealing with a culture of thieves and robbers. Muhammad, their prophet, was a robber and a killer and a liar. The Arab destroys everything he touches.
-- Moshe Feiglin -
You can’t teach a monkey to speak and you can’t teach an Arab to be democratic,
-- Moshe Feiglin -
We spend our lives guessing at what's going on inside everybody else, and when we happen to get lucky and guess right, we think we 'understand.' Such nonsense. Even a monkey at a computer will type a word every now and then.
-- Orson Scott Card -
Our ancestors were very rich and eminent people, and they left us an enormous inheritance, which we have completely forgotten, especially since the time when we began to consider ourselves the descendants of a monkey.
-- P.D. OuspenskySource : "A New Model of the Universe: Principles of the Psychological Method in Its Application to Problems of Science, Religion and Art". Book by P.D. Ouspensky, 1931.
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I really like the Caribbean. Anyplace in the Caribbean. I get there, and I feel like a monkey - the perfect state.
-- Penelope Cruz -
Don't throw a monkey-wrench into the machinery.
-- Philander Chase JohnsonSource : Everybody's Magazine, p. 36, May 1920.
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It's an absurd error to put modern English literature in the curriculum. You should read contemporary literature for pleasure or not at all. You shouldn't be taught to monkey with it.
-- Rebecca West -
Southerners ask intimate questions in the way monkeys groom each other for lice, not to pry but to make you feel cared for.
-- Reynolds PriceSource : Reynolds Price (2000). “Tongues of Angels: A Novel”, Scribner
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Unlike some of the time-travel movies I love, like 'Primer' or '12 Monkeys,' 'Looper' is not about time travel. It's about this situation that time travel creates and the people dealing with that situation. So narratively, the big challenge was to have time travel get out of the way.
-- Rian Johnson -
Humans in space suits make monkeys nervous.
-- Richard Preston -
The brown monkey's instinct to kill is correct; such men are dangerous to all monkey customs.
-- Robert A. Heinlein -
Geniuses and supergeniuses always make their own rules about sex as on everything else; they do not accept the monkey customs of their lessers.
-- Robert A. Heinlein -
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"Softly, softly, catchee monkey," is the West African rendering of a very valuable precept. An awful lot of men fail through lack of patient persistence.
-- Robert Baden-Powell -
They gave 12 monkeys a typewriter for a week, and after a week, they only used it as a bathroom.
-- Robin Ince -
I have a lot of funny friends, though not everyone's funny all the time. Doon Mackichan's my funniest friend in the pub; Nina Conti's the funniest with a monkey.
-- Sally Phillips -
I looked like a monkey trying to wrestle a football.
-- Sam Snead -