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Sport is how poor kids from poor countries pass through the eye of the needle to riches and recognition.
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If you want to go to the mall, you have to take security. But it's always cool. The kids are amazing.
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I have a dog and sometimes I'll be the littlest kid with my dog and marvel at his ears and his nose and how he looks at me. If he died, I'd bawl like a baby.
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As a kid, I always wanted to obviously win a Super Bowl. Now that I've got one, it's like, 'Now what?' Let's go get another one!
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The great joy of doing 'The Daily Show' for me is that I get to sit on the fence between cultures. I am commenting on the absurdity of both sides as an outsider and insider. Sometimes I'm playing the brown guy, and sometimes I'm not, but the best stuff I do always goes back to being a brown kid in a white world.
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Anyone who meets you and doesn't want to get to know you and be part of your life is stupid. I saw it when I was just a kid." "No. You thought I was a vampire and you wanted to be my friend so I wouldn't eat you." "Well, that too. But I found out soon enough you weren't a blood sucker and I still licked you.
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I didn't go to the cinemas a lot as a kid.
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Finding a good band is Iike finding a good wife. You got to keep trying till you find the right one.
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May your wife and children get raped, right in the ass. (to the jurors who convicted her)
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Actually way back when Abhishek and I were just co-actors, I kept telling him 'let's be a part of a troupe and go on a world tour'. And he kept on saying 'It's not the right time'. But I never thought that my wish will be fulfilled in such a grand way and that we will be part of the team as man and wife.
