Discworld Quotes:

What can the harvest hope for...

- Terry Pratchett

source: Terry Pratchett (2017). “Terry Pratchett's Discworld Coloring Book”, p.10, Simon and Schuster

topic: Azrael, Harvest, Discworld, Reaper

Divide by cucumber error. Please reinstall universe and reboot.

- Terry Pratchett

source: Terry Pratchett (2008). “Hogfather: (Discworld Novel 20)”, p.218, Random House

topic: Errors, Cucumbers, Discworld

And no practical definition of freedom would be complete without the freedom to take the consequences. Indeed, it is the freedom upon which all the others are based.

- Terry Pratchett

source: "Going Postal". Book by Terry Pratchett, en.wikiquote.org. 2004.

topic: Would Be, Definitions, Discworld

We've got a lot of experience of not having any experience

- Terry Pratchett

source: Terry Pratchett (2010). “Witches Abroad: (Discworld Novel 12)”, p.52, Random House

topic: Discworld

And, while it was regarded as pretty good evidence of criminality to be living in a slum, for some reason owning a whole street of them merely got you invited to the very best social occasions.

- Terry Pratchett

source: Terry Pratchett (1996). “Feet of Clay: A Novel of Discworld”, Harper Prism

topic: Reason, Social, Discworld

The trouble with being a god is that you've got no one to pray to.

- Terry Pratchett

source: Terry Pratchett (2008). “Small Gods: (Discworld Novel 13)”, p.20, Random House

topic: Praying, Trouble, Discworld, Small Gods

Did I do anything last night that suggested I was sane?

- Terry Pratchett

source: Terry Pratchett (2008). “Going Postal: (Discworld Novel 33)”, p.187, Random House

topic: Night, Lasts, Discworld

I commend my soul to any god that can find it.

- Terry Pratchett

source: Terry Pratchett (2013). “Going Postal: Stage Adaptation”, p.15, A&C Black

topic: Soul, Discworld, My Soul

"Multiple exclamation marks," he went on, shaking his head, "are a sure sign of a diseased mind."

- Terry Pratchett

source: "Eric" by Terry Pratchett, Harper, (p. 153), February 2002.

topic: Exclamation Marks, Mind, Discworld, Rincewind, Exclamation

You need to believe in things that aren't true. How else can they become?

- Terry Pratchett

source: Terry Pratchett (2008). “Hogfather: (Discworld Novel 20)”, p.409, Random House

topic: Believe, Needs, Discworld

This time it had been magic. And it didn't stop being magic just because you found out how it was done.

- Terry Pratchett

topic: Magic, Done, Discworld

He says gods like to see an atheist around. Gives them something to aim at.

- Terry Pratchett

source: Terry Pratchett (2008). “Small Gods: (Discworld Novel 13)”, p.199, Random House

topic: Atheist, Giving, Discworld, Small Gods

Creators aren't gods. They make places, which is quite hard. It's men that make gods. This explains a lot.

- Terry Pratchett

source: Terry Pratchett (1998). “The Last Continent: A Discworld Novel”, Harpercollins

topic: Men, Discworld, Creator

I like the idea of democracy. You have to have someone everyone distrusts.

- Terry Pratchett

source: "Small Gods". Book by Terry Pratchett, 1992.

topic: Ideas, Democracy, Discworld, Small Gods

What're quantum mechanics?" "I don't know. People who repair quantums, I suppose.

- Terry Pratchett

source: Terry Pratchett (2012). “Eric: Discworld: The Unseen University Collection”, p.43, Hachette UK

topic: People, Mechanic, Discworld

This I choose to do. If there is a price, this I choose to pay. If it is my death, then I choose to die. Where this takes me, there I choose to go. I choose. This I choose to do.

- Terry Pratchett

source: "Wintersmith". Book by Terry Pratchett, 2006.

topic: Pay, Discworld, Take Me

You can't find a hermit to teach you herming, because of course that rather spoils the whole thing.

- Terry Pratchett

source: "Small Gods". Book by Terry Pratchett, 1992.

topic: Discworld, Hermits, Teach, Small Gods

There are no inconsistencies in the Discworld books; ocassionally, however, there are alternate pasts.

- Terry Pratchett

topic: Book, Past, Discworld

Most gods find it hard to walk and think at the same time.

- Terry Pratchett

source: "Small Gods". Book by Terry Pratchett, 1992.

topic: Thinking, Discworld, Walks, Small Gods

Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.

- Terry Pratchett

source: Terry Pratchett (2008). “Hogfather: (Discworld Novel 20)”, p.38, Random House

topic: Jobs, Disease, Discworld, Communicable Diseases

I am death, not taxes. I turn up only once.

- Terry Pratchett

source: Terry Pratchett (1996). “Feet of Clay: A Novel of Discworld”, Harper Prism

topic: Death, Discworld, Taxes

Corporal Nobbs had been disqualified from the human race for shoving

- Terry Pratchett

source: Terry Pratchett (2008). “Men At Arms: (Discworld Novel 15)”, p.45, Random House

topic: Race, Discworld, Humans

Despite rumor, Death isn't cruel--merely terribly, terribly good at his job.

- Terry Pratchett

topic: Jobs, Rumor, Discworld, Despite

As we all know, the Discworld is a flat planet - like a geological pizza, but without the anchovies.

- Terry Pratchett

source: Stephen Briggs, Terry Pratchett (2012). “Turtle Recall: The Discworld Companion . . . So Far”, p.126, Hachette UK

topic: Discworld, Planets, Flats

The figures looked more or less human. And they were engaged in religion. You could tell by the knives (it's not murder if you do it for a god).

- Terry Pratchett

source: "Small Gods". Book by Terry Pratchett, 1992.

topic: Knives, Murder, Discworld, Small Gods

The pamphlet was very patriotic. That is, it talked about killing foreigners.

- Terry Pratchett

source: "Monstrous Regiment (Discworld, Book 31)". Book by Terry Pratchett, 2003.

topic: Patriotic, Killing, Discworld

I imagine that fish have no word for water.

- Terry Pratchett

source: Terry Pratchett (2008). “Small Gods: (Discworld Novel 13)”, p.184, Random House

topic: Water, Imagine, Discworld, Small Gods

And it came to pass that in time the Great God Om spake unto Brutha, the Chosen One: "Psst!

- Terry Pratchett

source: Terry Pratchett (2008). “Small Gods: (Discworld Novel 13)”, p.14, Random House

topic: Discworld, Small Gods, Chosen One

And all those exclamation marks, you notice? Five? A sure sign of someone who wears his underpants on his head.

- Terry Pratchett

source: "Maskerade". Book by ‎Terry Pratchett, 1995.

topic: Exclamation Marks, Discworld, Underpants, Exclamation