Ken Dodd quotes

“I haven't spoken to my mother-in-law for eighteen months-I don't like to interrupt her.”
-- Ken Dodd

#Mother Quotes #Law Quotes #Months Quotes

“I have kleptomania. But when it gets bad, I take something for it.”
-- Ken Dodd

“I told the Inland Revenue I didn't owe them a penny because I lived near the seaside”
-- Ken Dodd

Source : "Ken Dodd on his 60 years in showbiz: I'll keep doing live shows until I drop". Interview with Rachael Bletchly, www.mirror.co.uk. November 12, 2014.

#Pennies Quotes #Taxes Quotes #Revenue Quotes

“The trouble with Freud is that he never played the Glasgow Empire Saturday night.”
-- Ken Dodd

Source : In 'The Times' 7 August 1965

#Night Quotes #Trouble Quotes #Saturday Night Quotes

“My teeth are all my own. I've just finished paying for them.”
-- Ken Dodd

#Teeth Quotes

“Television is like a great monster, eating your gags as fast as you say them.”
-- Ken Dodd

Source : "Dodd's Bolton Bonus". www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk. February 15, 2007.

#Monsters Quotes #Television Quotes #Eating Quotes

“Comedy should never be over-analysed. It's either funny or it isn't. There's a subtle difference between those who say funny things and those who say things funny.”
-- Ken Dodd

Source : "Dodd's Bolton Bonus". www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk. February 15, 2007.

#Funny Things Quotes #Differences Quotes #Comedy Quotes

“Laughter is the greatest music in the world and audiences come to my shows to escape the cares of life. They don't want to be embarrassed or insulted. They want to laugh and so do I - which is probably why it works.”
-- Ken Dodd

Source : "Dodd's Bolton bonus". Manchester Evening News Interview, www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk. February 15, 2007.

#Laughter Quotes #Laughing Quotes #World Quotes

“Did you know that a laugh is something that comes out of a hole in your face? Anywhere else and you're in dead trouble!”
-- Ken Dodd

Source : "Dodd's Bolton Bonus". www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk. February 15, 2007.

#Laughing Quotes #Faces Quotes #Trouble Quotes

“I had an idyllic childhood and when my parents bought me a Punch and Judy Show and a ventriloquist's dummy, I'd perform anywhere, anytime. My parents were wonderful when I told them I wanted to be an entertainer.”
-- Ken Dodd

Source : "Dodd's Bolton Bonus". www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk. February 15, 2007.

#Childhood Quotes #Parent Quotes #Idyllic Quotes

“If I get a hard audience they are not going to get away until they laugh. Those seven laughs a minute -- Ive got to have them.”
-- Ken Dodd

#Laughing Quotes #Seven Quotes #Minutes Quotes

“Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother.”
-- Ken Dodd

#Family Quotes #Mother Quotes #Children Quotes

“My act is very educational. I heard a man leaving the other night saying, 'Well that taught me a lesson.'”
-- Ken Dodd

#Educational Quotes #Men Quotes #Night Quotes