Roy Blount, Jr. quotes

  • A good heavy book holds you down. It's an anchor that keeps you from getting up and having another gin and tonic.
    -- Roy Blount, Jr.

    #Book #Anchors #Funny Drinking

  • It's my belief that sanity lies in realizing that reality is not exactly what we had in mind.
    -- Roy Blount, Jr.

    #Lying #Reality #Mind

  • Obama's the most thoughtful-sounding president I can remember. He seems to be saying what he wants to say, and that is a great relief. He always sounds like he's thinking about what he's saying while he's saying it, and that's a rare thing in politicians.
    -- Roy Blount, Jr.

    #Thoughtful #Thinking #President

  • English is an outrageous tangle of those derivations and other multifarious linguistic influences, from Yiddish to Shoshone, which has grown up around a gnarly core of chewy, clangorous yawps derived from ancestors who painted themselves blue to frighten their enemies.
    -- Roy Blount, Jr.

    #Blue #Gnarly #Enemy

  • The North isn't a place. It's just a direction out of the South.
    -- Roy Blount, Jr.

    #South

  • I do not Twitter. I don't want to Twitter, and I don't see any point in Twittering. The last thing I want to do is tell people what I'm doing at the moment because I'm probably not doing what I'm supposed to be doing.
    -- Roy Blount, Jr.

    #People #Want #Lasts

  • Any given generation gives the next generation advice that the given generation should have been given by the previous generation but now it's too late.
    -- Roy Blount, Jr.

    #Should Have #Giving #Advice

  • Certainly people have said a lot of deeply unfortunate and stupid things in Southern accents, but that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with the accent itself.
    -- Roy Blount, Jr.

    #Stupid #Mean #People

  • Going to Vanderbilt did a lot of things for me, and one of the things it cured me of was the need to follow college football.
    -- Roy Blount, Jr.

    #Football #College #Needs

  • A picture's worth a thousand words? A library card's worth millions.
    -- Roy Blount, Jr.

    #Library #Cards #Thousand

  • In the beginning, Atlanta was without form, and void; and it still is.
    -- Roy Blount, Jr.

    #Atlanta #Void #Form

  • Even intellectuals should have learned by now that objective rationality is not the default position of the human mind, much less the bedrock of human affairs.
    -- Roy Blount, Jr.

    #Should Have #Mind #Affair

  • Many a person has been saved from summer alcoholism, not to mention hypertoxicity, by Dostoyevsky.
    -- Roy Blount, Jr.

    #Summer #Dostoyevsky #Alcoholism

  • Ham's substantial, ham is fat. Ham is firm and sound. Ham's what God was getting at When He made pigs so round.
    -- Roy Blount, Jr.

    #Food #Pigs #Cooking

  • Doctors and lawyers must go to school for years and years, often with little sleep and with great sacrifice to their first wives.
    -- Roy Blount, Jr.

    #Sleep #School #Sacrifice

  • Cats have intercepted my footsteps at the ankle for so long that my gait, both at home and on tour, has been compared to that of a man wading through low surf.
    -- Roy Blount, Jr.

    #Home #Cat #Animal

  • A dog will make eye contact. A cat will, too, but a cat's eyes don't even look entirely warm-blooded to me, whereas a dog's eyes look human except less guarded. A dog will look at you as if to say, "What do you want me to do for you? I'll do anything for you." Whether a dog can in fact, do anything for you if you don't have sheep (I never have) is another matter. The dog is willing.
    -- Roy Blount, Jr.

    #Dog #Cat #Eye

  • The legendary yet factual Curtis Wilkie has been the right man in the right place at an uncanny number of extraordinary times.
    -- Roy Blount, Jr.

    #Men #Numbers #Legendary

  • I do not know what the cat can have eaten. Usually I know exactly what the cat has eaten. Not only have I fed it to the cat, at the cat's insistence, but the cat has thrown it up on the rug, and someone has tracked it all over onto the other rug. I do not know why cats are such habitual vomiters. They do not seem to enjoy it, judging by the sounds they make while they are doing it. It's their nature. A dog is going to bark. A cat is going to vomit.
    -- Roy Blount, Jr.

    #Dog #Nature #Cat

  • Mozart combined high formality and playfulness that delights as no other composition in any other medium does.
    -- Roy Blount, Jr.

    #Doe #Delight #Mediums

  • The first time I walked into a library, I got so excited I almost wet my pants.
    -- Roy Blount, Jr.

    #Library #Pants #Firsts

  • Studying literature at Harvard is like learning about women at the Mayo Clinic.
    -- Roy Blount, Jr.

    #Drinking #Learning #Hygiene

  • I prefer my oysters fried; that way I know my oysters died.
    -- Roy Blount, Jr.

    #Oysters #Way #Died

  • The local groceries are all out of broccoli, loccoli.
    -- Roy Blount, Jr.

    #Groceries #Broccoli #Locals