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“Middle-age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.”
-- Ogden Nash
#Birthday #Home #Night
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“If some confectioners were willing To let the shape announce the filling, We'd encounter fewer assorted chocs, Bitten into and returned to the box.”
-- Ogden Nash
#Chocolate #Shapes #Encounters
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“When I ponder my mind I consistently find It is glued On food.”
-- Ogden Nash
#Food #Mind #Pondering
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“The only incurable troubles of the rich are the troubles that money can't cure, Which is a kind of trouble that is even more troublesome if you are poor.”
-- Ogden Nash
#Adversity #Kind #Rich
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“No, you never get any fun Out of the things you haven't done.”
-- Ogden Nash
#Fun #Children #Done
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“Beneath this slab John Brown is stowed. He watched the ads, And not the road.”
-- Ogden Nash
#John Brown #Brown #Slabs
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“If you don't want to work, you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work.”
-- Ogden Nash
#Funny #Crazy #Silly
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“Some debts are fun when you are acquiring them, but none are fun when you set about retiring them.”
-- Ogden Nash
#Fun #Debt #Retiring
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“The door of a bigoted mind opens outwards so that the only result of the pressure of facts upon it is to close it more snugly.”
-- Ogden Nash
#Doors #Mind #Pressure
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“Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.”
-- Ogden Nash
#Inspirational #Life #Inspirational Life
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“Man is a victim of dope in the incurable form of hope.”
-- Ogden Nash
#Hope #Dope #Men
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“Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.”
-- Ogden Nash
#Drinking #Liquor #Candy
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“Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.”
-- Ogden Nash
#Relationship #Two #People
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“Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.”
-- Ogden Nash
#Happy #Scratches
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“When grandparents enter the door, discipline flies out the window.”
-- Ogden Nash
#Doors #Grandparent #Discipline
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“Bankers are just like anybody else, only richer”
-- Ogden Nash
#Bankers #Funny Money
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“Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave, when they think that their children are naive.”
-- Ogden Nash
#Children #War #Thinking
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“Never befriend the oppressed unless you are prepared to take on the oppressor.”
-- Ogden Nash
#Adversity #Prepared #Oppressed
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“People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.”
-- Ogden Nash
#Funny Work #People #Sitting
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“I think that I shall never see A billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless the billboards fall, I'll never see a tree at all.”
-- Ogden Nash
#Fall #Thinking #Tree
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“The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late.”
-- Ogden Nash
#Morning #Regret #Night
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“My garden will never make me famous, I'm a horticultural ignoramus.”
-- Ogden Nash
#Garden
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“Smallpox is natural; vaccine ain't.”
-- Ogden Nash
#Vaccines #Natural #Smallpox
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“Why did the Lord give use so much quickness unless it was to avoid responsibility?”
-- Ogden Nash
#Responsibility #Giving #Use
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“The cow is of the bovine ilk: One end is moo, the other, milk.”
-- Ogden Nash
#Animal #Cows #Milk
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“God in His wisdom made the fly And then forgot to tell us why.”
-- Ogden Nash
#Silly #Made
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“I have an idea that the phrase weaker sex was coined by some woman to disarm some man she was preparing to overwhelm.”
-- Ogden Nash
#Sex #Women #Ideas
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“Indoors or out, no one relaxes in March, that month of wind and taxes, the wind will presently disappear, the taxes last us all the year.”
-- Ogden Nash
#Spring #Years #Wind
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“Your hair may be brushed, but your mind's untidy. You've had about seven hours of sleep since Friday. No wonder you feel that lost sensation. You're sunk from a riot of relaxation.”
-- Ogden Nash
#Friday #Sleep #Hair
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“Some tortures are physical And some are mental, But the one that is both Is dental.”
-- Ogden Nash
#Dental #Torture
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