Canada Funny Quotes:

Canada is the linchpin of the English-speakin g world

- Winston Churchill

topic: World, Canada, Canada Funny, Canada Being Great, Canada Day

Canada is like a loft apartment over a really great party.

- Robin Williams

topic: Party, Memorable, Canada, Great Party, Canada Being Great

A Canadian is somebody who knows how to make love in a canoe.

- Pierre Berton

source: Quoted in The Canadian, 22 Dec. 1973

topic: Making Love, Canada Being Great, Canada Day, Canada Funny, Happy Canada Day

The beaver, which has come to represent Canada as the eagle does the United States and the lion Britain, is a flat-tailed, slow-witted, toothy rodent known to bite off it's own testicles or to stand under its own falling trees.

- June Callwood

source: June Callwood (1981). “Portrait of Canada”, Garden City, N.Y. : Doubleday

topic: Humorous, Fall, Eagles, Beavers, Testicles

Canada is like an old cow. The West feeds it. Ontario and Quebec milk it. And you can well imagine what it's doing in the Maritimes.

- Tommy Douglas

source: "Personal Quotes/ Biography". www.imdb.com. June 29, 1983.

topic: Inspirational, Humorous, Cows, Maritime, Canada Day

Canada is a country whose main exports are hockey players and cold fronts. Our main imports are baseball players and acid rain.

- Pierre Trudeau

topic: Country, Baseball, Rain, Hockey Player, Canada Being Great

There are few, if any, Canadian men that have never spelled their name in a snow bank.

- Douglas Coupland

topic: Men, Names, Snow, Canada Being Great, Canada Funny

When I'm in Canada, I feel this is what the world should be like.

- Jane Fonda

topic: World, Canada, Should, Canada Being Great, Canada Day

I don't even know what street Canada is on.

- Al Capone

topic: Humorous, Canada, Streets, Canada Being Great, Canada Day

Canadian pride may not rest on our sleeves, but it resides deeply in our hearts.

- Steve Miller

topic: Heart, Pride, May, Canada Funny

There are no limits to the majestic future which lies before the mighty expanse of Canada with its virile, aspiring, cultured, and generous-hearted people.

- Winston Churchill

topic: Lying, People, Canada, Canada Being Great, Canada Day

The US is our trading partner, our neighbour, our ally and our friend... and sometimes we'd like to give them such a smack!

- Rick Mercer

topic: Giving, Canada, Allies, Smack, Canada Being Great

Our hopes are high. Our faith in the people is great. Our courage is strong. And our dreams for this beautiful country will never die.

- Pierre Trudeau

source: Pierre Trudeau's farewell speech to the Liberal Party, June 14, 1984.

topic: Beautiful, Dream, Country, Canada Being Great, Canada Day

Canada is the greatest nation in this country.

- Allan A. Lamport

topic: Country, Canada, Canada Day, Canada Funny, Happy Canada Day

We have it all. We have great diversity of people, we have a wonderful land, and we have great possibilities. So all those things combined there's nowhere else I'd rather be.

- Bob Rae

topic: Land, People, Diversity, Canada Being Great, Canada Day

Whether we live together in confidence and cohesion; with more faith and pride in ourselves and less self-doubt and hesitation; strong in the conviction that the destiny of Canada is to unite, not divide; sharing in cooperation, not in separation or in conflict; respecting our past and welcoming our future.

- Lester B. Pearson

topic: Strong, Pride, Past, Canada Being Great, Canada Day

The huge advantage of Canada is its backwardness.

- Marshall McLuhan

topic: Canada, Advantage, Huge, Canada Being Great, Canada Day

If you don't think that your country should come before yourself, you can better serve your country by livin' someplace else.

- Stompin' Tom Connors

topic: Country, Thinking, Canada, Canada Funny, Emigrating

We'll explain the appeal of curling to you if you explain the appeal of the National Rifle Association to us.

- Andy Barrie

topic: Rifles, Association, Canada, National Identity, Canada Being Great

I am so excited about Canadians ruling the world.

- John Diefenbaker

topic: Ruling The World, World, Excited, Canada Being Great, Canada Day

With or without the Royals, we are not Americans. Nor are we British. Or French. Or Void. We are something else. And the sooner we define this, the better.

- Will Ferguson

topic: Royal, Void, British, Canada Being Great, Canada Day

Canadians have an abiding interest in surprising those Americans who have historically made little effort to learn about their neighbour to the North.

- Peter Jennings

topic: Effort, Littles, Canada, Canada Being Great, Canada Day

After all, we fought the Yanks in 1812 and kicked them the hell out of our country - but not with blanks.

- Farley Mowat

source: Farley Mowat (1985). “My Discovery of America”, McClelland & Stewart

topic: Country, Canada, Hell, Canada Day, Canada Funny

Under this flag may our youth find new inspiration for loyalty to Canada; for a patriotism based not on any mean or narrow nationalism, but on the deep and equal pride that all Canadians will feel for every part of this good land.

- Lester B. Pearson

source: Lester B. Pearson (1970). “Words and Occasions: An Anthology of Speeches and Articles Selected from His Papers”, p.245, Harvard University Press

topic: Loyalty, Inspiration, Mean, Canada Funny

We peer so suspiciously at each other that we cannot see that we Canadians are standing on the mountaintop of human wealth, freedom and privilege.

- Pierre Trudeau

topic: Privilege, Peers, Wealth, Canada Being Great, Canada Day

I always thought of this as God's country.

- Jack Granatstein

topic: Country, Canada, Canada Day, Canada Funny, Happy Canada Day

I just think you Westerners should take over this country if you are so smart.

- Pierre Trudeau

topic: Country, Smart, Thinking, Westerners, Canada Being Great

I am deeply moved by the warmth and courage of the Canadian people which I felt so strongly during my recent visit to your country. Your support of the struggle against apartheid restored me in my journey home and reassured me that many just people around the world are with us.

- Desmond Tutu

topic: Country, Struggle, Home, Journey Home, Canada Being Great

I read and learned and fretted more about Canada after I left than I ever did while I was home. I absorbed anything I could on topics that ranged from Folklore to history to political mainifestos... I ranted and raved and seethed about things beyond my control. In short I acted like a Canadian.

- Will Ferguson

topic: Humorous, Home, Political, Canada Being Great, Canada Funny

Many Canadian nationalists harbour the bizarre fear that should we ever reject royalty, we would instantly mutate into Americans, as though the Canadian sense of self is so frail and delicate a bud, that the only thing stopping it from being swallowed whole by the US is an English lady in a funny hat.

- Will Ferguson

topic: Humorous, Self, Stopping, National Identity, Canada Being Great

Canada is a place of infinite promise. We like the people, and if one ever had to emigrate, this would be the destination, not the U.S.A. The hills, lakes and forests make it a place of peace and repose of the mind, such as one never finds in the U.S.A.

- John Maynard Keynes

topic: Lakes, People, Promise, Canada Being Great, Canada Day

It is wonderful to feel the grandness of Canada in the raw, not because she is Canada but because she's something sublime that you were born into, some great rugged power that you are a part of.

- Emily Carr

source: Emily Carr (2009). “Hundreds and Thousands: The Journals of Emily Carr”, p.383, D & M Publishers

topic: Sublime, Canada, Wonderful, Canada Being Great, Canada Day

Canadians are the people who learned to live without the bold accents of the natural ego-trippers of other lands.

- Marshall McLuhan

topic: Land, People, Ego, Canada Being Great, Canada Day

Canadians don't have a very big political lever, we're nice guys.

- Paul Henderson

topic: Nice, Guy, Political, Canada Day, Canada Funny

The great themes of Canadian history are as follows: Keeping the Americans out, keeping the French in, and trying to get the Natives to somehow disappear.

- Will Ferguson

topic: Trying, Disappear, Theme, Canada Being Great, Canada Day

I'm not going to play politics on the floor of the House of Commons.

- John Turner

topic: Play, House, Canada, Canada Day, Canada Funny