George Lopez quotes

When things are bad, it's the best time to reinvent yourself.
-- George Lopez

#Inspirational #Reinventing Yourself

When I first heard about Beverly Hills Chihuahua, I thought, no. This, this is ridiculous. And then you read the script and you close the script and you go, "They aren't going to be able to do that with real dogs. How are they going to do that?" You're going to see the strings. But they did.
-- George Lopez

#Dog #Real #Firsts

It's not even about black and white anymore, because so many people are from mixed backgrounds and mixed ethnicities, and it's just a great time to be able to pull all that together.
-- George Lopez

#Black And White #Ethnicity #People

I have dogs in my house and much like teenagers at some point, they leave the parents. Even though they're in the same house, they live independently. I think that's how I live with the Chihuahuas.
-- George Lopez

#Dog #Teenager #Thinking

No particular race is the enemy. Ignorance is the enemy.
-- George Lopez

#Ignorance #Race #Enemy

I do everything one at a time, one day at a time. It's the only way I can do all what I want. I stopped watching [most of] the news and entertainment shows. I think it's helped me to stay a little clearer. Do I need to know what Kevin Federline is doing? And I don't sleep a lot. I'm always connected to [my work].
-- George Lopez

#Sleep #Thinking #One Day At A Time

You're never going to be a Yankee for a day, or you're never going to be a Laker, but with Pro-Ams, they allow you to feel like you're a professional golfer and play under their conditions.
-- George Lopez

#Yankees #Play #Lakers

[There's] a joke that I've done forever: 'Nowadays they say that the largest majority of people will be Latino and you'll tell scary stories to your grandkids: "A long time ago when I was growing up, there used to be people who were white," and the kid says, "Really?" and you say, "Yeah, like the man who cuts our grass."' I've had that line forever and I love it.
-- George Lopez

#Growing Up #Kids #Cutting

I spend a lot of time alone and my wife understands that I need to be alone. I enjoy being alone. But I'm never lonely.
-- George Lopez

#Lonely #Wife #Needs

By the time I was 11, I wanted to be a comedian. So all those years later, I've managed to achieve my dream as a kid, and it wasn't easy. I'm on the [Hollywood] Walk of Fame and I'm one of the 25 most influential Hispanics in America, according to Time Magazine. I think my duty is to go back and tell kids, 'Whatever color you are, wherever you come from, anything and everything is possible.' And I'm living proof.
-- George Lopez

#Dream #Kids #Thinking

I'd love to have Michael Jackson [in my show] because he's black and white. So he would appeal to a universal demographic.
-- George Lopez

#Black And White #Demographics #Appeals

I'm not afraid to take on somebody or say something that somebody will find offensive because unfortunately in comedy, you can't say anything really good without offending somebody.
-- George Lopez

#Offending #Say Anything #Comedy

David Letterman is the best late-night talk show host right now, hands down, and has been since he first took the desk.
-- George Lopez

#Night #Hands #Down And

I didn't come from a background where I saw a lot of loving couples. All my aunts and uncles were either split up or fighting all the time. The only healthy relationships I saw were on TV.
-- George Lopez

#Uncles #Couple #Fighting

I had a very difficult childhood. I was surrounded by people who had both parents, which made me feel different. Having a bit of a rougher existence early on, it made me appreciate the work ethic that my grandparents instilled in me.
-- George Lopez

#People #Appreciate #Grandparent

I've spent days in cinemas answering questions from the audience, in interviews, travelling abroad, and all they do is thank me nicely.
-- George Lopez

#Cinema #Answering Questions #Interviews

If the worst thing that can happen is that nobody laughs, then I can deal with that, because the worst thing that can happen at the factory is that I could lose a limb or be crushed by a huge machine.
-- George Lopez

#Laughing #Machines #Factories

I actually graze at several of the homes while Im playing. There a lot of food going on. I drink and eat and use the restrooms in a lot of the houses. What better way to really get closer to the fans than to steal their soap from the restrooms as they allow you to enter their homes?
-- George Lopez

#Home #House #Fans

I got a pain in my chest, and I can't breathe
-- George Lopez

#Pain #Breathe

When you go to cable, there are no stations and no affiliates and they allow you to do your show
-- George Lopez

#Shows

I didn't want to be nobody, and that was the only way I could be somebody was to do stand-up.
-- George Lopez

#Want #Way

I never realized I could love people as much as I do now.
-- George Lopez

#People

It was June 4, 1979, the first time I went on stage. I didn't know I could do it but I knew I couldn't not do it. I quit everything in my life and this was the one thing I couldn't quit.
-- George Lopez

#June #Firsts #Quitting

Whoever is my relative, I will not be nice to them.
-- George Lopez

#Funny #Nice #Comedy

Two wrongs do not make a right; but three rights make a left.
-- George Lopez

#Funny #Rights #Two

We are now the proud owners of a white boy. Now we have to shop in the caucasian isle and get sunscreen, mayonaise and mild salsa because the other ones really hawt!
-- George Lopez

#Boys #White #Proud

Memories, priceless. Well not really priceless, but there you go!
-- George Lopez

#Memories #Priceless #Wells

if you make waffles, throw out the first one.
-- George Lopez

#Waffles #Firsts

No Angie, it's instant. Like when someone trips in the cafeteria and you're laughing so hard milk comes out of your nose, the guy next to you is laughing so hard he accidentally farts. BOOM! Friends for life!
-- George Lopez

#Laughing #Guy #Noses

When we got married, we agreed on a boy for me, and a girl for you. Mine's upstairs sleeping. Good luck with yours!
-- George Lopez

#Girl #Good Luck #Sleep

I believe that there are certain things that could be taken care of that you don't need a strong political background in.
-- George Lopez

#Strong #Believe #Taken

I love comedy and I would write things to myself as an exercise in writing. I didn't do well for years, and I quit. I started to break down why I was afraid and started to look at people I admired, like Richard Pryor, Eddie Murphy, Freddie Prinze, George Carlin and all.
-- George Lopez

#Writing #Exercise #Years

I'm a big fan of reality shows. I thought the first one, Dukes of Hazzard, captured white people perfectly.
-- George Lopez

#Funny #Reality #White

When I look at the Gospel, I see how it is speaking to me at this time. I see how to be to others and it helps.
-- George Lopez

#Talking #Looks #Helping

It's a great day in America when white people, black people and Latinos can all come together and pick on another minority.
-- George Lopez

#White #America #People

We're Mexi-cans not Mexi-can'ts.
-- George Lopez

#Funny #Comedy

Tied one on last night. Not feeling great this morning. I was trying to sleep it off, unfortunately, it was on the casino floor.
-- George Lopez

#Morning #Sleep #Night

The jewelry stores say, 'Tell your wife you love her with a diamond,' while wives tell you they love you with, 'Ok, but just because it's Valentine's Day.'
-- George Lopez

#Funny Valentines Day #Love You #Wife

So I started to relax and would work on my act eight hours a day, sitting at a desk writing at my grandmother's house, and I would put on Richard Pryor Live on Long Beach and would play it like a loop and think and write
-- George Lopez

#Beach #Writing #Grandmother