Alfie Kohn quotes

If I offered you a thousand dollars to take off your shoes, you'd very likely accept--and then I could triumphantly announce that 'rewards work.' But as with punishments, they can never help someone develop a *commitment* to a task or action, a reason to keep doing it when there's no longer a payoff.
-- Alfie Kohn

#Commitment #Punishment #Shoes

Children, after all, are not just adults-in-the-making. They are people whose current needs and rights and experiences must be taken seriously.
-- Alfie Kohn

#Children #Taken #Rights

Sometimes we have to put our foot down, ... but before we deliberately make children unhappy in order to get them to get into the car, or to do their homework or whatever, we need to weigh whether what we're doing to make it happen is worth the possible strain on our relationship with them.
-- Alfie Kohn

#Children #Feet #Order

The late W. Edwards Deming, guru of Quality management, once declared, 'The most important things we need to manage can't be measured.' If that’s true of what we need to manage, it should be even more obvious that it’s true of what we need to teach.
-- Alfie Kohn

#Important #Quality #Needs

Each time I visit such a classroom, where the teacher is more interested in creating a democratic community than in maintaining her position of authority, I’m convinced all over again that moving away from consequences and rewards isn’t just realistic - it’s the best way to help kids grow into good learners and good people.
-- Alfie Kohn

#Teacher #Moving #Kids

Don't let anyone tell you that standardized tests are not accurate measures. The truth of the matter is they offer a remarkably precise method for gauging the size of the houses near the school where the test was administered.
-- Alfie Kohn

#School #House #Size

Most of us would protest that of course we love our children without any strings attached. But what counts is how things look from the perspective of the children
-- Alfie Kohn

#Children #Perspective #Looks

Very few things are as dangerous as a bunch of incentive-driven individuals trying to play it safe.
-- Alfie Kohn

#Play #Risk #Trying

Unconditional parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason
-- Alfie Kohn

#Moving #Punishment #Rewards

You have to give them unconditional love. They need to know that even if they screw up, you love them. You don't want them to grow up and resent you or, even worse, parent the way you parented them.
-- Alfie Kohn

#Growing Up #Unconditional Love #Giving

The value of a book about dealing with children is inversely proportional to the number of times it contains the word behavior.
-- Alfie Kohn

#Children #Book #Numbers

How we feel about our kids isn't as important as how they experience those feelings and how they regard the way we treat them.
-- Alfie Kohn

#Kids #Feelings #Important

Punishments erode relationships and moral growth.
-- Alfie Kohn

#Punishment #Growth #Erode

In outstanding classrooms, teachers do more listening than talking, and students do more talking than listening.  Terrific teachers often have teeth marks on their tongues.
-- Alfie Kohn

#Teacher #Talking #Listening

Children learn how to make good decisions by making decisions, not by following directions.
-- Alfie Kohn

#Children #Learning #Decision

People will typically be more enthusiastic where they feel a sense of belonging and see themselves as part of a community than they will in a workplace in which each person is left to his own devices
-- Alfie Kohn

#People #Community #Workplace

Whoever said there's no such thing as a stupid question never looked carefully at a standardized test.
-- Alfie Kohn

#Stupid #Tests #Said

To be well-educated is to have the desire as well as the means to make sure that learning never ends.
-- Alfie Kohn

#Mean #Desire #Ends

Do rewards motivate people? Absolutely. They motivate people to get rewards.
-- Alfie Kohn

#People #Intelligence #Rewards

Students should not only be trained to live in a democracy when they grow up; they should have the chance to live in one today.
-- Alfie Kohn

#Growing Up #Democracy #Today

If unconditional love and genuine enthusiasm are present, praise isn't necessary. If they're absent, praise won't help.
-- Alfie Kohn

#Unconditional Love #Enthusiasm #Helping

It's not just that humiliating people, of any age, is a nasty and disrespectful way of treating them. It's that humiliation, like other forms of punishment, is counterproducti ve. 'Doing to' strategies -- as opposed to those that might be described as 'working with' -- can never achieve any result beyond temporary compliance, and it does so at a disturbing cost.
-- Alfie Kohn

#Punishment #People #Age

Those who know they're valued irrespective of their accomplishments often end up accomplishing quite a lot. It's the experience of being accepted without conditions that helps people develop a healthy confidence in themselves, a belief that it's safe to take risks and try new things.
-- Alfie Kohn

#People #Accomplishment #Healthy

Punishment and reward proceed from basically the same psychological model, one that conceives of motivation as nothing more than the manipulation of behavior.
-- Alfie Kohn

#Motivation #Punishment #Rewards

Standardized testing has swelled and mutated, like a creature in one of those old horror movies, to the point that it now threatens to swallow our schools whole.
-- Alfie Kohn

#School #Horror #Testing

The race to win turns us all into losers.
-- Alfie Kohn

#Winning #Race #Loser

When was the last time you spent the entire day with only 42 year olds?
-- Alfie Kohn

#Years #Lasts #Last Time

Educators remind us that what counts in a classroom is not what the teacher teaches; it’s what the learner learns.
-- Alfie Kohn

#Teacher #Classroom #Educator

Independence is useful, but caring attitudes and behaviors shrivel up in a culture where each person is responsible only for himself.
-- Alfie Kohn

#Attitude #Caring #Independence

Punishments and rewards are two sides of the same coin and that coin doesn't buy you much.
-- Alfie Kohn

#School #Punishment #Two Sides

When test scores go up, we should worry, because of how poor a measure they are of what matters, and what you typically sacrifice in a desperate effort to raise scores.
-- Alfie Kohn

#School #Sacrifice #What Matters

When we do things that are controlling, whether intentional or not, we are not going to get those long-term outcomes.
-- Alfie Kohn

#School #Long #Outcomes

The overwhelming number of teachers ...are unable to name or describe a theory of learning that underlies what they do.
-- Alfie Kohn

#Teacher #Teaching #Learning

To feel controlled is to lose interest.
-- Alfie Kohn

#Inspirational #Interest #Feels

Learning is something students do, NOT something done to students.
-- Alfie Kohn

#Educational #Done #Students

In a word, learning is decontextualized. We break ideas down into tiny pieces that bear no relation to the whole. We give students a brick of information, followed by another brick, followed by another brick, until they are graduated, at which point we assume they have a house. What they have is a pile of bricks, and they don't have it for long.
-- Alfie Kohn

#Ideas #Giving #Long

If a child is off-task...mayb e the problem is not the child...maybe it's the task.
-- Alfie Kohn

#Children #Tasks #Problem

How can we do our best when we are spending our energies trying to make others lose - and fearing that they will make us lose?
-- Alfie Kohn

#Trying #Energy #Spending

In short, with each of the thousand-and-one problems that present themselves in family life, our choice is between controlling and teaching, between creating an atmosphere of distrust and one of trust, between setting an example of power and helping children to learn responsibility, between quick-fix parenting and the kind that's focused on long-term goals.
-- Alfie Kohn

#Children #Teaching #Responsibility

In some suburban schools, the curriculum is chock-full of rigorous A.P. courses and the parking lot glitters with pricey SUVs, but one doesn't have to look hard to find students who are starving themselves, cutting themselves, or medicating themselves, as well students who are taking out their frustrations on those who sit lower on the social food chain.
-- Alfie Kohn

#School #Cutting #Frustration

John Dewey reminded us that the value of what students do 'resides in its connection with a stimulation of greater thoughtfulness, not in the greater strain it imposes.
-- Alfie Kohn

#Connections #Students #Thoughtfulness

Some who support [more] coercive strategies assume that children will run wild if they are not controlled. However, the children for whom this is true typically turn out to be those accustomed to being controlled— those who are not trusted, given explanations, encouraged to think for themselves, helped to develop and internalize good values, and so on. Control breeds the need for more control, which is used to justify the use of control.
-- Alfie Kohn

#Running #Children #Thinking

Someone who thinks well of himself is said to have a healthy self-concept and is envied. Someone who thinks well of his country is called a patriot and is applauded. But someone who thinks well of his species is regarded as hopelessly naïve and is dismissed.
-- Alfie Kohn

#Country #Thinking #Self

Strip away all the assumptions about what competition is supposed to do, all the claims in its behalf that we accept and repeat reflexively. What you have left is the essence of the concept: mutually exclusive goal attainment (MEGA). One person succeeds only if another does not. From this uncluttered perspective, it seems clear right away that something is drastically wrong with such an arrangement. How can we do our best when we are spending our energies trying to make others lose--and fearing that they will make us lose?
-- Alfie Kohn

#Essence #Goal #Perspective

If rewards do not work, what does? I recommend that employers pay workers well and fairly and then do everything possible to help them forget about money. A preoccupation with money distracts everyone - employers and employees - from the issues that really matter.
-- Alfie Kohn

#Issues #Doe #Pay

What can we surmise about the likelihood of someone's being caring and generous, loving and helpful, just from knowing that they are a believer? Virtually nothing, say psychologists, sociologists, and others who have studied that question for decade
-- Alfie Kohn

#Caring #Knowing #Helpful

The difference between a good educator and a great educator is that the former figures out how to work within the constraints of traditional policies and accepted assumptions, whereas the latter figures out how to change whatever gets in the way of doing right by kids. 'But we've always...', 'But the parents will never...', 'But we can't be the only school in the area to...' - all such protestations are unpersuasive to great educators. If research and common sense argue for doing things differently, then the question isn't whether to change course but how to make it happen.
-- Alfie Kohn

#School #Kids #Differences

Trying to be number one and trying to do a task well are two different things.
-- Alfie Kohn

#Two #Numbers #Trying