Patrick Murray famous quotes

I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't.
-- Patrick Murray

#Funny #Hilarious #Wife

A Lawyer will do anything to win a case, sometimes he will even tell the truth.
-- Patrick Murray

#Winning #Lawyer #Telling The Truth

Yesterday was the first day of the rest of your life . . . and you messed it up again.
-- Patrick Murray

#Yesterday #Firsts

The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity.
-- Patrick Murray

#Leisure #Computer #Internet

The only difference between a dead skunk lying in the road and a dead lawyer lying in the road is that there are skid marks around the skunk.
-- Patrick Murray

#Lying #Differences #Lawyer

Tell your boss what you really think about him and the truth shall set you free.
-- Patrick Murray

#Thinking #Boss

Any political party that includes the word 'democratic' in its name, isn't.
-- Patrick Murray

#Party #Names #Political

I grew up watching my Dad, Uncles Ciaran Murray and Brendan Murray, and cousin, Aedin Murray, who were all national caliber Gaelic football players in Ireland. I try to watch as much Gaelic football as I can, it is my first love. I bleed Green, White, and Orange. Gaelic football players don’t get paid to play, you play to represent your county that is more important than earning money.
-- Patrick Murray

#Football #Cousin #Uncles

Repent or be damned! If you have already repented, please disregard this notice.
-- Patrick Murray

#Disregard #Repent #Please

Freedom of the press is guaranteed only to those who own one.

I had two thoughts about it. One was I could do that, and the next one was I'll never get to do that.

Men have only two emotions: hungry and horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist.

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target

If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it?

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.

I love my wife, she deserves anything and everything.

Finding a good band is Iike finding a good wife. You got to keep trying till you find the right one.

It is best for ordinary men to have only one wife !

Why bother with Google when I have a wife who knows everything about everything!