Henry Beard Quotes and Sayings - Page 1

“Fairway: a narrow strip of mown grass that separates two groups of golfers looking for lost balls in the rough.”
-- Henry Beard

#Golf #Two #Groups
“A tap-in is a putt that is short enough to be missed one-handed.”
-- Henry Beard

#Golf #Enough #Missed Ones
“Duffers who consistently shank their balls are urged to buy and study Shanks - No Thanks by R.K. Hoffman, or in extreme cases, M.S. Howard's excellent Tennis for Beginners.”
-- Henry Beard

#Golf #Tennis #Beginners
“"Play it as it lies" is one of the fundamental dictates of golf”
-- Henry Beard

#Lying #Golf #Play
“A ball will always come to rest halfway down a hill, unless there is sand or water at the bottom.”
-- Henry Beard

#Golf #Water #Balls
“Wear it if it clashes.”
-- Henry Beard

#Golf #Clash
“Garden: One of a vast number of free outdoor restaurants operated by charity-minded amateurs in an effort to provide healthful, balanced meals for insects, birds and animals.”
-- Henry Beard

#Garden #Animal #Numbers
“Chef: Any cook who swears in French.”
-- Henry Beard

#Chef #Culinary #Cooks
“You do not sew with a fork and I see no reason why you should eat with knitting needles.”
-- Henry Beard

#Knitting #Reason #Culinary
“A driving range is the place where golfers go to get all the good shots out of their system.”
-- Henry Beard

#Golf #Driving #Range
“Few golfers are born with the natural talent for hitting the ball, but every player is blessed with the God-given ability to throw a club.”
-- Henry Beard

#Blessed #Golf #Player
“Hole in One: an occurence in which a ball is hit directly from the tee into the hole in a single shot by a golfer playing alone.”
-- Henry Beard

#Golf #Balls #Holes
“Handicap: an allocation of strokes on one or more holes that permits two golfers of very different ability to do equally poorly on the same course.”
-- Henry Beard

#Golf #Two #Different
“It's often necessary to hit a second shot to really appreciate the first one.”
-- Henry Beard

#Golf #Appreciate #Firsts
“Advice to anglers: don't take advice from people with missing fingers.”
-- Henry Beard

#Fishing #People #Missing
“Bulb: potential flower buried in Autumn, never to be seen again.”
-- Henry Beard

#Funny #Flower #Autumn
“I simply cannot imagine why anyone would eat something slimy served in an ashtray.”
-- Henry Beard

#Imagine
“Follow through: The part of the swing that takes place after the ball has been hit, but before the club has been thrown.”
-- Henry Beard

#Golf #Swings #Balls
“Hoeing: A manual method of severing roots from stems of newly planted flowers and vegetables.”
-- Henry Beard

#Weed #Flower #Vegetables
“The true definition of a perennial: Any plant which, had it lived, would have bloomed year after year.”
-- Henry Beard

#Garden #Years #Definitions
“Bets lengthen putts and shorten drives.”
-- Henry Beard

#Golf
“Nonchalant putts count the same as chalant putts.”
-- Henry Beard

#Golf #Nonchalant
“If the wind is in your face, you swing too hard just to get the ball through it; if the wind is at your back, you swing too hard just to see how far you can get the ball to go.”
-- Henry Beard

#Golf #Swings #Wind
“When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either hit one more club or two more balls.”
-- Henry Beard

#Golf #Two #Water

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