Umpires famous quotes
05-22-2025
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It is difficult batting in artificial light with a red ball but it's a horrible task for umpires to make a judgement, particularly if they're going by light meters.
-- Adam Gilchrist -
Wherever I look, I see signs of the commandment to honor one's parents and nowhere of a commandment that calls for the respect of a child.
-- Alice Miller -
Listen, ump. How can you sleep with the lights on?
-- Amos Otis -
Then when I reached college I realized that many people had thought about the problem during the 18th and 19th centuries and so I studied those methods.
-- Andrew Wiles -
Stay in school kids or you'll end up being an umpire.
-- Andy Roddick -
For a few years, more people have been leaving our country than entering it. Wherever it is possible, we must lower the entry hurdles for those who bring the country forward.
-- Angela Merkel -
A fiance is neither this nor that: he's left one shore, but not yet reached the other.
-- Anton Chekhov -
Of the twenty-two civilizations that have appeared in history, nineteen of them collapsed when they reached the moral state the United States is in now.
-- Arnold J. Toynbee -
I'm happy wherever I go, whatever I do. I'm happy in Iowa, I'm happy here in California.
-- Ashton Kutcher -
I didn't mean to hit the umpire with the dirt, but I did mean to hit that ***** in the stands.
-- Babe Ruth -
A good umpire is the umpire you don't even notice
-- Ban Johnson -
The audience is the best judge of anything. They cannot be lied to. Truth brings them closer. A moment that lags - they're gonna cough.
-- Barbra Streisand -
When the legislative and executive powers are united in the same person, or in the same body of magistrates, there can be no liberty; because apprehensions may arise, lest the same monarch or senate should enact tyrannical laws, to execute them in a tyrannical manner.
-- Baron de Montesquieu -
Obscenity is whatever happens to shock some elderly and ignorant magistrate.
-- Bertrand Russell -
Mike Judge, who I've become friends with over the years never took himself seriously as an artist.
-- Bill Griffith -
What did Citibank get out of it? It got the ability to reverse the arbitrage. Actually, what they got was the ability to give themselves a profit, and that saved the bank.
-- Bill Janklow -
The best umpired game is the game in which the fans cannot recall the umpires who worked it.
-- Bill Klem -
The most cowardly thing in the world is blaming mistakes upon the umpires. Too many managers strut around on the field trying to manage the umpires instead of their teams.
-- Bill Klem -
I told the umpires to walk back at least thirty-five feet from home plate. That reduced the arguements.
-- Bill Klem -
An angry player can't argue with the back of an umpire who is walking away.
-- Bill Klem -
Your job is to umpire for the ball and not the player.
-- Bill Klem -
Now that women are jockeys, baseball umpires, atomic scientists, and business executives, maybe someday they can master parallel parking.
-- Bill Vaughan -
One day a whole damn song fell into place in my head.
-- Billie Holiday -
Justice without force is powerless; force without justice is tyrannical.
-- Blaise Pascal -
Gilligan's Island is wherever you want it to be in your mind.
-- Bob Denver -
I was never given a trial. I never went before any magistrate, nor did my parents. To this day, I do not know what the charges that were lodged against me or my deceased parents at this time.
-- Bob Matsui -
There's absolutely no excuse for throwing a piece of equipment on an umpire or any player. You can argue your point and at times may accidentally bump an umpire, but to consciously throw a piece of equipment at someone is unforgivable.
-- Brad Ausmus -
Shakespeare said pretty well everything and what he left out, James Joyce, with a judge from meself, put in.
-- Brendan Behan -
The same things go on everywhere, whether you're from the city, the country or wherever.
-- Bubba Sparxxx -
Boys, I'm one of those umpires that misses 'em every once in a while so if it's close, you'd better hit it.
-- Cal Hubbard -
Left the ranch in 1883, went to California, going through the States and territories, reached Ogden the latter part of 1883, and San Francisco in 1884.
-- Calamity Jane -
Ed (Runge), you're the second best umpire in the league. The other twenty-three are tied for first.
-- Carl Yastrzemski -
On our show, I've only reached out and touched about 55 guys. I think there's still about 40 million.
-- Carson Kressley -
Charity begins at home, and justice begins next door.
-- Charles Dickens -
You can do anything, literally, right? That's one of the exciting possibilities of the present.
-- Charles Olson -
Whenever death may surprise us, let it be welcome if our battle cry has reached even one receptive ear and another hand reaches out to take up our arms.
-- Che Guevara -
I can guarantee you this, that more pension and benefit reforms which I will consider arbitration reform to be one of them, are things that when they come to my desk, they will be signed.
-- Chris Christie -
Many baseball fans look upon an umpire as a sort of necessary evil to the luxury of baseball, like the odor that follows an automobile.
-- Christy Mathewson -
Don't judge a book by its thickness either.
-- Craig Reucassel -
Chemistry is really about two people who like to act together, I think. It's like tennis in the most cliched way. It's like if you hit the ball, they hit the ball back, and they don't hit it into the stands, and they don't put the ball in their pocket and walk off - and they don't argue with the umpire, you know?
-- David Duchovny -
Umpires are like emotional girlfriends, once they make up their minds, there is no point in arguing
-- Dmitry Tursunov -
You don't notice the referee during the game unless he makes a bad call.
-- Drew Curtis -
We cast a shadow on something wherever we stand.
-- E. M. Forster -
Some have said that I can accept inadequacies in my players but not in umpires. That completely misses the point. I can't tolerate anyone's mistake.
-- Earl Weaver -
Peace is the umpire for doing the will of God.
-- Edwin Louis Cole -
There was a while when I was feeling like, 'Damn, if I'd just been born black, I would not have to go through all this'.
-- Eminem -
The American people do not want people thumbing their nose at the law. It undercuts the very fabric of our society and the system of civil justice and of criminal justice as well.
-- Ernest Istook -
Since people, in a competitive or any other society, are by no means always just to each other, some regulation by the state in its capacity of umpire is unavoidable, What must be kept in mind is that the greatest in of all is done when the umpire forgets that he too is bound by the rules, and begins to make them as between contestants in behalf of his own prejudices.
-- Felix Morley -
I was number one in the ratings four times last year and twice this season. What could be more damn equal than that? If they get any more equal, I don't want it.
-- Flip Wilson -
It's so worth-while being a judge, because, if I make good, I can help prove that a woman's place is as much on the bench, in City Council, or in Congress, as in the home.
-- Florence Ellinwood Allen -
You can hardly judge women's effect on politics merely from the action of individual women officeholders.
-- Florence Ellinwood Allen -
Take pride in your work at all times. Remember, respect for an umpire is created off the field as well as on.
-- Ford Frick -
Money may not buy happiness, but it can damn well give it!
-- Freddie Mercury -
I'd always have it (grease( in at least two places, in case the umpires would ask me to wipe one off. I never wanted to be caught out there with anything though, it wouldn't be professional.
-- Gaylord Perry -
The first guy who lays a finger on this blind old man is fined fifty bucks!
-- Gene Mauch -
The referee is going to be the most important person in the ring tonight besides the fighters.
-- George Foreman -
I don't give a damn about the stock market. But I do care about jobs.
-- George Voinovich -
I don't know what I'm doing, but I'm damn well gonna do it!
-- Geri Halliwell -
Why do you judge me as a musician, John? All I'm interested in is making money.
-- Glenn Miller -
The trouble with me is that every match I play against five opponents: umpire, crowd, ball boys, court, and myself.
-- Goran Ivanisevic -
This magistrate is not the king. The people are the king.
-- Gouverneur Morris -
If custom is to avail for proof of soundness, we too, surely, may advance our prevailing custom; and if they reject this, we are surely not bound to follow theirs. Let the inspired Scripture, then, be our umpire, and the vote of truth will surely be given to those whose dogmas are found to agree with the Divine words.
-- Gregory of Nyssa -
My aim was to safeguard justice, without doing harm to our war effort.
-- Hans Frank -
Somethin' like four thousand bottles have been thrown at me in my day but only about twenty ever hit me. That does not speak very well for the accuracy of the fans' throwing.
-- Harry Gordon Johnson -
I can imagine no society which does not embody some method of arbitration.
-- Herbert Read -
Once women are not excluded, I don't think any of us will give a damn what pronouns are used. That wasn't the point.
-- Holly Near -
It is the duty of the Umpire to determine all questions submitted to him according to these laws, when they apply, and according to his best judgment when they do not apply.
-- Howard Staunton -
My eyes, my brain seek out escape routes wherever I am sent.
-- Jack Abbott -
She made the decision that her existence had lost its meaning. And you cannot judge that.
-- Jack Kevorkian -
In case of dispute, the umpire shall throw it straight into the field.
-- James Naismith -
Umpires are most vigorous when defending their miscalls.
-- Jim Brosnan -
Mr. Speaker, we have reached a point in history where some have forgotten that it is the family, not the government, that is the fundamental building block of our society.
-- Jim Ryun -
People don't seem to understand that it's a damn war out there.
-- Jimmy Connors -
I'm going to let God be the judge of who goes to heaven and hell.
-- Joel Osteen -
The umpire signals a bye with the air of a weary stalk
-- John Arlott -
It is rather suitable for umpires to dress like dentists, since one of their tasks is to draw stumps.
-- John Arlott -
Umpire Harold Bird, having a wonderful time, signalling everything in the world, including stopping traffic coming on from behind.
-- John Arlott -
For me, the great problem growing up in England was that I had a very narrow concept of what God can be, and it was damn close to an old man with a beard.
-- John Cleese -
If art is to nourish the roots of our culture, society must set the artist free to follow his vision wherever it takes him.
-- John F. Kennedy -
Sigmund Freud was a novelist with a scientific background. He just didn't know he was a novelist. All those damn psychiatrists after him, they didn't know he was a novelist either.
-- John Irving -
And I will place within them as a guide My umpire conscience, whom if they will hear Light after light well used they shall attain, And to the end persisting, safe arrive.
-- John Milton -
Justified or not, the Supreme Court has a kind of sacred status in American life. For whatever reason, Presidents can safely run against Congress, and vice versa, but I think there is an inherent popular aversion to assaults on the court itself. Perhaps it has to do with an instinctive belief that life needs umpires.
-- Jon Meacham -
You had to pitch in and out. The zone didn't belong to the hitters it belonged to the pitchers. Today, if you pitch too far inside, the umpire would stop you right there. I don't think it's fair.
-- Juan Marichal -
Many are attracted to social service - the rewards are immediate, the gratification quick. But if we have social justice, we won't need social service.
-- Julian Bond -
The mystery of that damn virus has been generated by the $2 billion a year they spend on it.
-- Kary Mullis -
The umpire had comical news. The congregation had been theoretically spotted from the air by a theoretical enemy. They were all theoretically dead now. The theoretical corpses laughed and ate a hearty noontime meal.
-- Kurt Vonnegut -
Actually I walk around with the Emmy wherever I go, but I'm very casual about it.
-- Larry David -
In a way an umpire is like a woman. He makes quick decisions, never reverses them, and doesn't think you're safe when you're out.
-- Larry Goetz -
It isn't enough for an umpire to merely know what he's doing. He has to look as though he knows what he's doing, too.
-- Larry Goetz -
Earl gave me his version of what happened and asked me not to suspend the umpires.
-- Lee MacPhail -
In the olden days, the umpire didn't have to take any courses in mind reading. The pitcher told you he was going to throw at you.
-- Leo Durocher -
The courtroom is a quiet place, Judge Roberts, where you park your political ideology, and you call the balls and you call the strikes.
-- Lindsey Graham -
I love what I'm doing. It's my life. When it's time to go, I'll probably be fighting to get out of the casket. I'll be yelling at the priest instead of a referee.
-- Lou Duva -
Great progress was made when arbitration treaties were concluded in which the contracting powers pledge in advance to submit all conflicts to an arbitration court, treaties which not only specify the composition of the court, but also its procedure.
-- Ludwig Quidde -
Never pray for justice, because you might get some.
-- Margaret Atwood -
Rules of society are nothing; one's conscience is the umpire.
-- Marie Anne de Vichy-Chamrond, marquise du Deffand
