Larry David Quotes and Sayings - Page 1
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“Being Larry David on Curb Your Enthusiasm was the best thing to happen to Larry David in life.”
-- Larry David -
“I'm a jerk, that's who I am. I'm like everybody else.”
-- Larry David -
“Give a guy a girlfriend and a great job, he doesn’t need therapy.”
-- Larry David -
“Zero, zero belief in myself. And it's changed somewhat, but there's still a lot of that in me.”
-- Larry David -
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“Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man - there's your diamond in the rough.”
-- Larry DavidSource : "Larry David: The Man Behind Seinfeld". The Laugh Factory Magazine Interview, www.laughfactory.com. April 1994.
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“You know, when you do standup there are certain requirements that you have to do like you have to go on stage and when you get introduced you have to say "Hey,how ya doin'? How are ya?" I couldn't do it. It was false.”
-- Larry David -
“I think we're all good and bad, but good's not funny. Bad is funny. Suppress the good and let the bad out, and then you can be funny.”
-- Larry David -
“I couldn't walk up to a woman at a bar and say hello.”
-- Larry David -
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“You know who wears sunglasses inside? Blind people and assholes.”
-- Larry DavidSource : "Larry David: Curb Your Enthusiasm". www.imdb.com. 1999.
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“I once stopped to pick up a girl, and then there was this creepy-looking guy standing behind the bushes waiting to jump out and get in, too. So I just quickly drove away.”
-- Larry David -
“If I tried to flirt with a woman and she didn't know who I was, she would run away.”
-- Larry David -
“I need to be on drugs to connect with nature.”
-- Larry David -
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“Luck always plays a part for everyone, whether they want to admit it or not. I was very lucky, and I know it.”
-- Larry David -
“The best situation is being a single parent. The best part about is that you get time off, too, because the kids are with their mom, so it's the best of both worlds. There's a lot to be said for it.”
-- Larry David -
“Making a woman laugh. What is that about? And the prettier the woman, the more satisfaction I get. It doesn't make any sense, but I'm being honest.”
-- Larry David -
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“I’d rather have the thieves than the neighbors - the thieves don't impose. Thieves just want your things, neighbors want your time.”
-- Larry David -
“Sometimes you have to wander a bit, and do what you don't want to in order to figure out what it is you're supposed to do.”
-- Larry David -
“When you're not concerned with succeeding, you can work with complete freedom.”
-- Larry DavidSource : "Larry David: The Man Behind Seinfeld". The Laugh Factory Magazine Interview, www.laughfactory.com. April 1994.
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“My defensiveness in life really helps me as a driver.”
-- Larry David -
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“I had a job as a paralegal. I drove a cab.”
-- Larry DavidSource : "Angry Middle-Aged Man" by James Kaplan, www.newyorker.com. January 19, 2004.
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“I had a wonderful childhood, which is tough because it's hard to adjust to a miserable adulthood.”
-- Larry DavidSource : "Larry David: More Enthusiasm, Curbed". "Morning Edition" with Steve Inskeep, www.npr.org. September 23, 2005.
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“Most people are completely unaware of their breath. They violate your space, they have no idea that they have halitosis.”
-- Larry David -
“I tolerate lactose like I tolerate people.”
-- Larry DavidSource : "An Extremely Awkward Encounter with Larry David". Interview with Scott Raab, www.esquire.com. September 18, 2009.
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“The addition of nuts in salad... I always find to be beneficial.”
-- Larry David -
“Who do you think has more freedom: the married man in America or the single man in Communist China?”
-- Larry DavidSource : "Curb Your Enthusiasm". TV Series, (2000-).
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“Hey, I may loathe myself, but it has nothing to do with the fact that I'm Jewish.”
-- Larry David -
“Actually I walk around with the Emmy wherever I go, but I'm very casual about it.”
-- Larry David -
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“Trying on pants is one of the most humiliating things a man can suffer that doesn't involve a woman.”
-- Larry DavidSource : "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.
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“Whenever something good happens to me, it's usually followed by something terrible.”
-- Larry David
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