Woody Allen Quotes and Sayings - Page 1

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“Eighty percent of success is showing up.”
-- Woody Allen

#Inspirational #Positive #Inspiring
“There's a tacit agreement between myself and the audience that I will entertain them when they buy their ticket, and I've been the one that has screwed that up. Once in while I indulge myself and try something else, and I keep my fingers crossed that it will come out good and there'll be enough people who will enjoy it, but that doesn't often happen.”
-- Woody Allen

#Agreement #People #Trying
“Men learn to love the woman they are attracted to. Women learn to become attracted to the man they fall in love with.”
-- Woody Allen

#Witty #Falling In Love #Humorous
“I don't believe in competition for artistic things. I just like the atmosphere of the Cannes festival. I don't want to win anything or lose anything.”
-- Woody Allen

#Believe #Winning #Competition
“I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.”
-- Woody Allen

#Life #Sex #Answers
“I don't like theatrical actors and actresses. I like people that talk like real human beings.”
-- Woody Allen

#Real #People #Actors
“The heart wants what it wants. There's no logic to these things. You meet someone and you fall in love and that's that.”
-- Woody Allen

#Best Love #Falling In Love #Heart
“I never have an alter ego in the movies. That's a fiction that the press has made up over the years, and it's fun to write that. It gives them something to write.”
-- Woody Allen

#Fun #Writing #Years
“I think a relationship is like a shark. It has to constantly move forward or it dies.”
-- Woody Allen

#Relationship #Moving #Thinking
“It has become harder and harder in the United States to make films unhampered by outside influences. I've always been able to steer clear of that and keep the business people out of my hair completely.”
-- Woody Allen

#Hair #People #United States
“I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.”
-- Woody Allen

#Inspirational #Funny #Life
“I'm a terrible musician. While the band members are great, I'm tolerated and affectionately regarded because I do movies, but if I had to make my living as a musician I would starve. I'm like a Sunday tennis player.”
-- Woody Allen

#Sunday #Player #Tennis
“Confidence is what you have before you understand the problem.”
-- Woody Allen

#Funny #Confidence #Witty
“There's something about my films; they're informed by my sensibility. I have the same preoccupations, the same interests... there's just something in the nuance, and so you always know it's a film of mine whether I sign my name to it or not.”
-- Woody Allen

#Names #Nuance #Film
“The study of economy usually shows us that the best time for purchase was last year.”
-- Woody Allen

#Years #Lasts #Study
“I always felt that the problems of the world would never ever be solved until people came to terms with the deeper issues [spiritual] - that there would be an aimless reshuffling of world leaders and governments and programs.”
-- Woody Allen

#Spiritual #Government #Issues
“Love is too weak a word for what I feel - I luuurve you, you know, I loave you, I luff you, two F's, yes.”
-- Woody Allen

#Love Is #Two #Weak
“When I was young, I wanted to be a dramatic writer, a writer of tragedy. Nothing would've pleased me more than if I could have written like Eugene O'Neil or Tennessee Williams.”
-- Woody Allen

#Tragedy #Tennessee #Dramatic
“You can't control life. It doesn't wind up perfectly. Only-only art you can control. Art and masturbation. Two areas in which I am an absolute expert.”
-- Woody Allen

#Art #Wind #Two
“I've often felt that life is a hard deal and it's unrelentingly tragic and an uphill fight.”
-- Woody Allen

#Fighting #Life Is #Tragic
“If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.”
-- Woody Allen

#Funny #Witty #Money
“My gift was in comedy. I found out I could make jokes. I could tell jokes. I could write them. So over the years, that's what I've done.”
-- Woody Allen

#Writing #Years #Done
“I should go to Paris and jump off of the Eiffel Tower. If I took the Concorde, I could be dead three hours earlier.”
-- Woody Allen

#Witty #Humorous #Paris
“Please forgive me. My pedicurist had a stroke. She fell forward onto the orange stick and plunged it into my toe. It required bandaging.”
-- Woody Allen

#Orange #Forgive Me #Forgiving
“Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.”
-- Woody Allen

#Funny #Time #Inspiration
“I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.”
-- Woody Allen

#Witty #Food #Oysters
“I always feel the cynicism is reality with maybe an alternate spelling or something because I feel that I have real perspective on this particular issue of punishment in society.”
-- Woody Allen

#Real #Issues #Punishment
“Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.”
-- Woody Allen

#Sex #Fun #Laughing
“A general philosophy of the female characters in my films is they all want something to believe in, and not having anything.”
-- Woody Allen

#Philosophy #Believe #Character
“My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers.”
-- Woody Allen

#Funny #Teacher #Witty

24 Woody Allen Quotes On Movies Films Life Religion And More

24 Woody Allen Quotes On Movies Films Life Religion And More

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