Charley Davidson Quotes:

How would you like your eggs?" I tried. I really did. But I glanced at his crotch and it came out anyway. "Fertilized?

- Darynda Jones

source: Darynda Jones (2013). “Fifth Grave Past the Light”, p.178, Macmillan

topic: Eggs, Charley Davidson, Reyes Farrow

A Nuns Life: Chastity, poverty, and obedience. Wait, chastity?" BUMPER STICKER

- Darynda Jones

topic: Waiting, Poverty, Bumper Sticker, Charley Davidson

But give up my business? The same business I'd built from the ground up with my own two hands and designer Louis Vuittons? The same business for which I'd sacrificed blood, sweat, and tears? Well, maybe not sweat and tears, but there was blood. Lots of blood. Give it up? Not likely. Besides, what else would I do? I totally should've gone to Hogwarts when I had the chance.

- Darynda Jones

topic: Giving Up, Blood, Hands, Sweat And Tears, Charley Davidson

I totally should've gone to Hogwarts when I had the chance.

- Darynda Jones

source: Darynda Jones (2012). “Third Grave Dead Ahead”, p.36, Macmillan

topic: Gone, Hogwarts, Chance, Charley Davidson

Apparently, this really was Kill Charley Davidson Week. Or at least Horribly Maim Her.... It would probably never get government recognition, though, destined to be underappreciated like Halloween or Thesaurus Day.

- Darynda Jones

topic: Halloween, Government, Recognition, Charley Davidson, Thesaurus

Amber, you could never embarrass me." "Never?" she asked. "Never." "One time, I yelled across the store to Mom and asked her if she wanted the regular or the super-absorbent tampons. I added that, according to the box, the super-absorbent were for those heavy days. Then I asked her to rate her heaviness on a scale of one to ten." "Okay, you could." "Then while we were standing in line, I asked her why she was buying three boxes of Summer's Eve in the middle of winter." I set her at arm's length. "Wow." "I know, right? I had no idea a person could turn so red.

- Darynda Jones

topic: Summer, Mom, Winter, Tampons, Charley Davidson

Have you slept yet?' 'Sure. I took a power nap on the way over.' 'Didn't you drive there?' 'Yeah. Other drviers kept waking me up. Car horns should be illegal.' - Charley & Cookie

- Darynda Jones

topic: Naps, Car, Cookies, Waking Me Up, Charley Davidson

My powers of persuasion are only as strong as the bullshit I have to back it up. - Charley Davidson

- Darynda Jones

topic: Strong, Bullshit, Persuasion, Charley Davidson, Power Of Persuasion

My calculations - allowing for a 12 percent margin of error, based on the radius of the corresponding confidence interval and the surgeon general's warning - concluded that they probably didn't stay behind for the tacos.

- Darynda Jones

source: Darynda Jones (2011). “First Grave on the Right”, p.53, Macmillan

topic: Errors, Warning, Tacos, Intervals, Surgeons

A sheriff arrested me. I could be mistaken, but I'm pretty sure my men-in-uniform fetish began that day. The sheriff was hot. And he handcuffed me. I've never been the same.

- Darynda Jones

topic: Men, Hot, Uniforms, Charley Davidson, Fetish

I have depth. I've read Proust. No, wait, that was Pooh. Winnie the Pooh. My bad" Charley Davidson.

- Darynda Jones

topic: Waiting, Depth, Proust, Charley Davidson