Cricket Funny Quotes:

Oh God, if there be cricket in heaven, let there also be rain.

- Alec Douglas-Home

source: Quoted in Helen Exley Cricket Quotations (1992).

topic: Sports, Rain, Heaven, Cricket Funny

I bowl so slowly that if I don't like a ball I can run after it and bring it back

- James M. Barrie

topic: Running, Balls, Cricket Funny

The slow-motion replay doesn't show how fast the ball was really travelling.

- Richie Benaud

source: "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

topic: Sports, Slow Motion, Balls, Commentators, Cricket Funny

Cricket is a most precarious profession; it is called a team game but, in fact, no one is so lonely as a batsman facing a bowler supported by ten fieldsmen and observed by two umpires to ensure that his error does not go unpunished.

- John Arlott

topic: Lonely, Team, Games, Cricket Funny, Bowlers

I can't really say I'm batting badly. I'm not batting long enough to be batting badly

- Greg Chappell

topic: Long, Enough, Cricket Funny

It's a funny kind of month, October. For the really keen cricket fan it's when you discover that your wife left you in May.

- Denis Norden

topic: Baseball, Wife, Fans, Cricket Funny, Bloopers

That's what cricket's all about: two batsmen pitting their wits against one another

- Fred Trueman

topic: Two, Cricket, Wit, Cricket Funny

To me, cricket is a simple game. Keep it simple and just go out and play.

- Shane Warne

source: "Old master is still spinning" by Kevin Mitchell, www.theguardian.com. February 28, 2009.

topic: Simple, Games, Play, Cricketers, Playing Cricket

The third umpires should be changed as often as nappies and for the same reason.

- Navjot Singh Sidhu

topic: Umpires, Reason, Nappies, Cricket Funny

The other advantage England have got when Phil Tufnell is bowling is that he isn't fielding

- Ian Chappell

topic: England, Bowling, Advantage, Cricket Funny

A true batsman should in most of his strokes tell the truth about himself.

- Neville Cardus

source: Neville Cardus (1930). “Cricket”

topic: Telling The Truth, Should, Cricket, Cricket Funny

I tend to think that cricket is the greatest thing that God ever created on earth - certainly greater than sex, although sex isn't too bad either.

- Harold Pinter

topic: Sex, Thinking, Earth, Cricket Funny, Cricket Match

Shane Warne's idea of a balanced diet is a cheeseburger in each hand

- Ian Healy

topic: Hands, Ideas, Cricket, Cheeseburger, Cricket Funny

I've never got to the bottom of streaking

- Jonathan Agnew

topic: Bottom, Cricket Funny

Baseball has the great advantage over cricket of being sooner ended.

- George Bernard Shaw

source: Quoted in Colin Jarman The Guinness Dictionary of Sports Quotations (1990).

topic: Baseball, Dignity, Advantage, Motivational Baseball, Great Baseball

The hallmark of a great captain is the ability to win the toss, at the right time.

- Richie Benaud

source: "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

topic: Sports, Winning, Toss, Luck And Skill, Cricket Funny

Cricket is a pressure game, and when it comes to an India-Pakistan match the pressure is doubled.

- Imran Khan

topic: Games, Entrepreneur, India, India Pakistan, Cricketers

The first time you face up to a googly you're going to be in trouble if you've never faced one before

- Trevor Bailey

topic: Faces, Firsts, Trouble, Cricket Funny

Cricket civilizes people and creates good gentlemen. I want everyone to play cricket in Zimbabwe; I want ours to be a nation of gentlemen.

- Robert Mugabe

source: In Sunday Times 26 Feb. 1984

topic: Sports, Cricket Match, Play, Cricketers, Playing Cricket

The umpire signals a bye with the air of a weary stalk

- John Arlott

topic: Air, Umpires, Bye, Cricket Funny

Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer.

- David Acfield

topic: Funny, Air, Dumb, Afl, Footy

In the game of cricket it has always been customary to accord more adulation to batsman than to bowlers.

- Ian Peebles

topic: Games, Cricket, Bowlers, Cricket Funny, Adulation

There are good one-day players, there are good Test players and vice versa

- Trevor Bailey

topic: Player, One Day, Tests, Cricket Funny

Before you lay a foundation on the cricket field, there should be a solid foundation in your heart and you start building on that. After that as you start playing more and more matches, you learn how to score runs and how to take wickets.

- Sachin Tendulkar

topic: Life, Success, Running, Playing Cricket, Cricket Funny

Bill Frindall has done a bit of mental arithmetic with a calculator

- John Arlott

topic: Done, Bills, Arithmetic, Afl, Calculators

A run is more difficult to make than no save, because batting is in its nature a far less certain and reliable thing than bowling and fielding.

- Ranjitsinhji

topic: Running, Bowling, Certain, Cricket Funny

A stroke of a man knocking a thistle top with a walking stick

- John Arlott

topic: Men, Sticks, Knocking, Thistles, Walking Sticks

Collectively and individually fielding is largely a matter of thoughts and discipline.

- Ian Peebles

topic: Discipline, Matter, Cricket, Cricket Funny

I saw him playing on television and was struck by his technique, so I asked my wife to come look at him. Now I never saw myself play, but I felt that this player is playing with a style similar to mine, and she looked at him on Television and said yes, there is a similarity between the two...his compactness, technique, stroke production - it all seemed to gel!

- Donald Bradman

topic: Player, Two, Wife, Cricketers, Playing Cricket

I'll be going to bed having nightmares of Sachin just running down the wicket and belting me back over the head for six. He was unstoppable. I don't think anyone, apart from Don Bradman, is in the same class as Sachin Tendulkar. He is just an amazing player.

- Shane Warne

topic: Running, Player, Thinking, Cricketers, Cricket Funny

Though I like the various forms of football in the world, I don't think they begin to compare with these two great Anglo-Saxon ball games for sophisticated elegance and symbolism. Baseball and cricket are beautiful and highly stylized medieval war substitutes, chess made flesh, a mixture of proud chivalry and base - in both senses - greed. With football we are back to the monotonous clashing armor of the brontosaurus.

- John Fowles

topic: Beautiful, Football, Baseball, Monotonous, Cricket Funny

The Port Elizabeth ground is more of a circle than an oval. It's long and square.

- Trevor Bailey

topic: Circles, Squares, Long, Cricket Funny

I don't think the press are vindictive. They can write what they want

- Mike Gatting

topic: Writing, Thinking, Want, Cricket Funny