Douche Bag Quotes:

April is tax month. If you are having trouble filing your taxes, then you should hire an accountant. They'll give you the same advice that they've given hundreds of corporations - taxes are for douche bags.

- Ed Helms

topic: Giving, Advice, Corporations, Filing, Douche Bag

Father' is such an arbitary word. Douche bag, on the other hand...

- Becca Fitzpatrick

topic: Father, Hands, Bags, Douche Bag, Douches

Granuaile looked terminally depressed when she emerged from the bathroom with raven hair and, as a result rather Goth by accident. She didn't want to get her picture taken. "Aughh!" she said miserably, looking in the vanity mirror in the truck of the cab and fingering a wavy curl near her temple. "This sucks more than anything has ever sucked before. You know what we look like? A couple of emo douche bags." "Well, look at the bright side, Granuaile. Emo Douche Bags would be a great band name." [That's brilliant! It's already the unofficial name of more bands than I can count.]

- Kevin Hearne

topic: Couple, Emo, Taken, Douche Bag, Douches

Justin Bieber is a douche bag. Now that I have your attention, let's talk about cars.

- Corey Taylor

topic: Memorable, Car, Bags, Douche Bag, Douches

When you're not in love, when you don't have love, everybody you know falls in love on like the same day - even Karen the douche bag falls in love! Even retarded people in your neighborhood are getting married on their front lawn as you drive by, “What? The 'tards just got married on their lawn. That's great! I have nobody, and the 'tards just committed to each other for a lifetime of 'tardiness”.

- Dane Cook

source: "Dane Cook: A Stand-Up Comic on the Rise". "Day to Day" with Alex Chadwick, www.npr.org. December 1, 2005.

topic: Falling In Love, People, Bags, Douche Bag, Tardiness