Funny Tennis Quotes:

Zivojinovic seems to be able to pull the big bullet out of the top drawer

- Mike Ingham

topic: Bullets, Able, Funny Tennis

It's a lot of bling to play with. You got to have the bling.

- Serena Williams

topic: Play, Bling, Funny Tennis

Actually, I tossed it nicely, landed nicely, like airplane. No warning, beautiful. That's the art of throwing racquets.

- Goran Ivanisevic

topic: Beautiful, Art, Airplane, Funny Tennis

The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.

- Mitch Hedberg

topic: Depressing, Wall, Tennis, Inspirational Tennis, Funny Tennis

These ball boys are marvellous. You don't even notice them. There's a left handed one over there. I noticed him earlier .

- Max Robertson

topic: Boys, Tennis, Balls, Funny Tennis, Left Handed

Ladies, here's a hint. If you're up against a girl with big boobs, bring her to the net and make her hit backhand volleys. That's the hardest shot for the well-endowed.

- Billie Jean King

topic: Girl, Tennis, Hints, Funny Tennis, Tennis Player

We haven't had any more rain since it stopped raining.

- Harry Carpenter

topic: Rain, Tennis, Funny Tennis

In tennis the addict moves about a hard rectangle and seeks to ambush a fuzzy ball with a modified snow-shoe.

- Elliott Chaze

topic: Moving, Shoes, Snow, Funny Tennis, Ambush

I hate to lose more than I love to win.

- Jimmy Connors

topic: Hate, Winning, I Hate, Inspirational Tennis, Funny Tennis

The serve was invented so that the net could play.

- Bill Cosby

topic: Play, Tennis, Inspirational Tennis, Funny Tennis

An otherwise happily married couple may turn a mixed doubles game into a scene from Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf.

- Rod Laver

topic: Couple, Virginia, Games, Inspirational Tennis, Funny Tennis

The difference between involvement and commitment is like ham and eggs. The chicken is involved; the pig is committed.

- Martina Navratilova

topic: Inspirational, Commitment, Eggs, Inspirational Commitment, Inspirational Selling

I'll let the racket do the talking.

- John McEnroe

source: The Times (London), June 26, 1984.

topic: Sports, Motivational Sports, Talking, Sports Training, Inspirational Tennis

McEnroe has got to sit down and work out where he stands.

- Fred Perry

topic: Athlete, Work Out, Down And, Funny Tennis

It's one-on-one out there, man. There ain't no hiding. I can't pass the ball.

- Pete Sampras

topic: Men, Balls, Hiding, Inspirational Tennis, Funny Tennis

The trouble with me is that every match I play against five opponents: umpire, crowd, ball boys, court, and myself.

- Goran Ivanisevic

source: "The Joy of Six: great Wimbledon finals" by Scott Murray, Paul Doyle, Jacob Steinberg, www.theguardian.com. July 5, 2013.

topic: Boys, Umpires, Play, Funny Tennis

What rivalry? I win all the matches.

- Martina Hingis

topic: Winning, Tennis, Rivalry, Funny Tennis, Motivational Tennis

It's quite clear that Virginia Wade is thriving on the pressure now that the pressure on her to do well is off .

- Harry Carpenter

topic: Virginia, Tennis, Wade, Funny Tennis

The Gullikson twins here. An interesting pair, both from Wisconsin.

- Dan Maskell

topic: Interesting, Tennis, Wisconsin, Funny Tennis

When I was 40, my doctor advised me that a man in his 40s shouldn't play tennis. I heeded his advice carefully and could hardly wait until I reached 50 to start again.

- Hugo Black

source: Quoted in Think, Feb. 1963

topic: Sports, Men, Doctors, Inspirational Tennis, Funny Tennis

Tennis is a perfect combination of violent action taking place in an atmosphere of total tranquillity.

- Billie Jean King

topic: Sports, Perfect, Tennis, Inspirational Tennis, Funny Tennis

Good shot, bad luck and hell are the five basic words to be used in a game of tennis, though these, of course, can be slightly amplified.

- Virginia Graham

topic: Games, Tennis, Luck, Inspirational Tennis, Funny Tennis

When Martina is tense it helps her relax.

- Dan Maskell

topic: Tennis, Relax, Helping, Funny Tennis

If she gets the jitters now, then she isn't the great champion that she is.

- Max Robertson

topic: Tennis, Champion, Jitters, Funny Tennis

Tennis was never work for me, tennis was fun. And the tougher the battle and the longer the match, the more fun I had.

- Jimmy Connors

topic: Fun, Tennis, Battle, Funny Tennis, Motivational Tennis

Monica Seles: I'd hate to be next door to her on her wedding night.

- Peter Ustinov

topic: Wedding, Hate, Night, Funny Tennis, Wedding Night

I have always considered tennis as a combat in an arena between two gladiators who have their racquets and their courage as their weapons.

- Yannick Noah

topic: Two, Tennis, Weapons, Inspirational Tennis, Funny Tennis

When the Williams sisters play tennis, it gets pretty hot. When they start grunting, I'm in.

- Robin Williams

topic: Play, Tennis, Hot, Funny Tennis