MaryJanice Davidson Quotes:

I know it's practical for career women, but sneakers with suits? Jesus couldn't possibly weep harder than I did.

source: - MaryJanice Davidson (2006). “Undead and Unpopular: A Queen Betsy Novel”, p.21, Penguin

Topics: Jesus, Sneakers, Careers, Career Women

Never, EVER give up. Not ever. Not EVER. Ever EVER!

Topics: Giving Up, Giving, Rejection

Why is it suddenly uncool to spell? That's all I want to know.

source: - MaryJanice Davidson (2011). “Undead and Undermined: A Queen Betsy Novel”, p.86, Penguin

Topics: Want, Uncool

My my Laura Goodman. I must say that is a charming name for a charming young lady." "Eric's old." I broke in. "Really really old." "Er— really?" Laura asked. "Gosh you don't look even out of your thirties." "Tons of face-lifts. He's a surgical addict. I'm trying to get him help." I added defensively when they both gave me strange looks.

source: - MaryJanice Davidson (2005). “Undead and Unappreciated: A Queen Betsy Novel”, p.155, Penguin

Topics: Names, Trying, Looks, Laura, Goodman

Wow, girlfriend, you're incompatible with life! And here I thought I was just incompatible with pink.

source: - MaryJanice Davidson (2004). “Undead and Unwed: A Queen Betsy Novel”, p.105, Penguin

Topics: Girlfriend, Wow

I've been stabbed before. Barely a week ago, in fact. AND I've been audited, AND I come from a broken home. In short - no offense, shorty - you don't scare me.

source: - MaryJanice Davidson (2004). “Undead and Unwed: A Queen Betsy Novel”, p.221, Penguin

Topics: Home, Broken, Scare, Broken Homes

Back off, boys. You don't want to mess with an out-of-work secretary. We're real testy.

source: - MaryJanice Davidson (2004). “Undead and Unwed: A Queen Betsy Novel”, p.120, Penguin

Topics: Real, Boys, Want

Can you burn me up with holy water? Poke me to death with your crucifix? Pelt me with communion wafers?

Topics: Water, Holy, Communion, Holy Water

Majesty, I beg your forgiveness for the idignity you suffered and offer you the head of our enemy as—" "Put that thing down," I said impatiently. "I can't talk to you when you're shaking his head like a damned maraca.

source: - MaryJanice Davidson (2004). “Undead and Unwed: A Queen Betsy Novel”, p.225, Penguin

Topics: Enemy, Majesty, Said

Kissing Sinclair was like making out with a sexy timber wolf— he was licking my fangs and nipping me lightly and growling under his breath and it was...oh, it was really something.

source: - MaryJanice Davidson (2004). “Undead and Unwed: A Queen Betsy Novel”, p.199, Penguin

Topics: Sexy, Kissing, Licking, Growling

Here I am, just wandering down a deserted street in the middle of the night. I hope I don't run into any trouble. Goodness, that would just ruin my whole evening." I strolled and hummed, trying to project Innocent Victim.

source: - MaryJanice Davidson (2010). “Undead And Unwed: Number 1 in series”, p.183, Hachette UK

Topics: Running, Night, Trying, Innocent Victims

I've always assumed he'd be around to be, you know, yelled at and taken for granted. And of course I was wrong. Nobody's going to put up with that forever.

source: - MaryJanice Davidson (2005). “Undead and Unappreciated: A Queen Betsy Novel”, p.204, Penguin

Topics: Taken, Forever, Taken For Granted

He snarled at me. "This isn't over yet, Betsy." "Excellent," I said. "I would also have accepted 'You haven't seen the last of me' and 'You'll regret this'.

Topics: Regret, Lasts, Accepted

I—I adore you, too. Well, I don't know if I adore you. That's not really the word I'd use. But I—I—" I managed to wrench it out. God, this was hard! "I love you." "Of course you do," he said, totally unsurprised. "WHAT? I finally tell you my deepest, most personal feelings and you're all, 'Yeah, I already got that memo'? This, this is why you drive me nuts! This is why it's so hard to tell you things! I take it back.

Topics: Love You, Nuts, Feelings

I've got a folder full of rejection slips that I keep. Know why? Because those same editors are now calling my agent hoping I'll write a book or novella for them. Things change. A rejection slip today might mean a frantic call to your agent in six months.

Topics: Book, Mean, Writing, Folders

All writers are crazy. So never mind what the editors and your family and your critique group tells you. Submit your manuscripts and keep submitting until you get an offer. Then you can be crazy, with a paycheck.

Topics: Crazy, Editors, Mind

You'll pay," she said stonily. "You won't be like this by this time tomorrow." "Bored and pissed off? God, I hope not.

Topics: Bored, Pissed Off, Pay

... friends are such a mixed blessing.

source: - Maggie Shayne, MaryJanice Davidson, Jacey Ford, Angela Knight (2009). “The Incredible Misadventures of Boo and the Boy Blunder: An Undead Novella A Penguin Group Special from Berkley Sensation”, p.21, Penguin

Topics: Blessing

Yeah, well, it's been a super fun week. And by 'super fun' I mean 'horrible and endless'.

source: - MaryJanice Davidson (2007). “Undead and Uneasy: A Queen Betsy Novel”, p.133, Penguin

Topics: Fun, Mean, Week

We have souls. Sure we do. Otherwise we'd do bad things all the time. You know, like politicians.

Topics: Soul, Politician

I'm in a Roadrunner cartoon, Sinclair. And I'm the coyote.

Topics: Cartoon, Coyotes

The vampire bible, bound in human skin, written in blood, and full of prophecies that were never wrong. Trouble was, if you read the thing too long, it drove you nuts. Not "I'm having a bad day and feel bitchy" nuts or PMS nuts. "I think I'll commit felony assault on my friends and rape my boyfriend" nuts.

Topics: Bad Day, Thinking, Blood, Having A Bad Day, Felony

I trudged around on the muddy river bottom for half an hour, patiently waiting to drown, before giving up and slogging my way back to shore.

source: - MaryJanice Davidson (2004). “Undead and Unwed: A Queen Betsy Novel”, p.24, Penguin

Topics: Giving Up, Rivers, Waiting, Patiently Waiting

It was scary how much she sounded like me sometimes. Maybe that's why she totally got on my nerves

source: - MaryJanice Davidson (2006). “Undead and Unpopular: A Queen Betsy Novel”, p.70, Penguin

Topics: Scary, Nerves, Sometimes

Take your hands off her, Sinclair told the guy behind me, Or they'll write books about what I'll do to you.

Topics: Book, Writing, Hands

There's more than one way for a girl to Google a cat.

Topics: Girl, Cat, Google

They weren't moving. Perhaps I was dazzling then with my ineptitude. It had happened before.

Topics: Moving, Ineptitude

You have attained maturity; display it for us, if you please.

Topics: Maturity, Please

Elizabeth Anne Taylor April 25, 1974 - April 25, 2004 Our Sweetheart, Only resting

source: - MaryJanice Davidson (2006). “Undead and Unreturnable: A Queen Betsy Novel”, p.19, Penguin

Topics: April, Sweetheart

I'm rubber and you're glue," I told Satan, " and everything that bounces of me sticks to you.

Topics: Rubber, Sticks, Glue, Bounce

She couldn't tell where his pupils ended and the irises began; looking into those eyes was like looking into a well where children had drowned.

Topics: Children, Eye, Irises

He said my name the way diabetics talked about hot fudge sundaes.

source: - MaryJanice Davidson (2004). “Undead and Unemployed: A Queen Betsy Novel”, p.42, Penguin

Topics: Names, Way, Hot, Sundaes, Fudge

It's inappropriate for the queen of the dead to be afraid of ghosts.

Topics: Queens, Ghost, Inappropriate

Has anyone ever told you that you lack focus?

source: - MaryJanice Davidson (2004). “Undead and Unwed: A Queen Betsy Novel”, p.97, Penguin

Topics: Focus

I could have gone to medical school, I said. Except for all the math and stuff.

Topics: School, Math, Stuff, Medical School

Interesting shade #23 Lush Golden Blonde highlights. Heyyyyyy.... The woman in the awful suit was me! The woman in the cheap shoes was me!

Topics: Shoes, Interesting, Shade

It never failed—I'd buy a new journal, write like a madwoman for ten pages, then lose total interest in the process. Three months later, I'd start the whole process all over again. I think I just liked buying new notebooks.

Topics: Notebook, Writing, Thinking

I zoomed in on the shoe department like a blonde homing pigeon. Shoes, shoes everywhere! Ah, sweet shoes. I truly think you can take the measure of a civilization by looking at its footwear.

Topics: Sweet, Thinking, Civilization, Footwear

You don't scare me, Cadence Jones. I've lived with crazy, I've ridden with crazy, I've vacationed with crazy, I've visited crazy in various hospitals, I've sat in on therapy sessions with crazy. Frankly, I think women who don't have major emotional disorders are really very dull.

Topics: Crazy, Emotional, Thinking

Also,I loathe it when you refer to me as dude" Eric Sinclair to Betsy

Topics: Eric, Loathe

I walked in on my folks doing it doggy style less than four hours ago." "Waitress!" Jonas screamed, clicking his fingers madly. "Bring two!" then, more quietly,"You want a neck massage? A bedtime story? A bullet in the ear?

Topics: Two, Style, Ears, Bedtime Stories

Fredrika Bimm, what do you think you're doing?" "Freaking out. Losing my mind. Thinking about snapping your husband's spine. Squashing the urge to vomit. Wishing I had died at childbirth." "Oh, you say that when you don't get a prize in your Lucky Charms.

Topics: Husband, Thinking, Mind, Snapping, Your Husband

I was so furious I was actually dizzy with it. There were so many bitchy, sarcastic observations to make, I was having a sarcasm stroke. "My God! You people! You're - you're so stupid you're making my eyeballs throb. They're throbbing, dammit!

Topics: Sarcastic, Stupid, Sarcasm, Eyeballs

It's nice to see you again, Laura." "Thank you, Mrs. T-" "No, no, no. Please, my name is-" "Mud," I suggested. "Mud Barfbag Taylor. Call her Asshat for short." ~Laura, Antonia, Betsy

Topics: Nice, Names, Mud, Antonia, Nice To See You

Did vampirism encourage Stockholm syndrome?

Topics: Stockholm, Syndromes, Stockholm Syndrome, Vampirism

Never let your fiend off his leash unless there's lots of room to run (and no people around).

Topics: Running, People, Rooms

Zombieland reference," Jon said, nodding. "How do you know that? That's a thousand-year-old reference!" I looked at laura. "I can't think of a single movie from a thousand years ago." "Uh...Betsy..." "Don't say it." You know how you don't know how stupid something is until you hear yourself say it? That happened to me a lot.

Topics: Stupid, Thinking, Years, Laura, Nodding

I—I adore you, too. Well, I don't know if I adore you. That's not really the word I'd use. But I—I—" I managed to wrench it out. God, this was hard! "I love you." "Of course you do," he said, totally unsurprised. "WHAT? I finally tell you my deepest, most personal feelings and you're all, 'Yeah, I already got that memo'? This, this is why you drive me nuts! This is why it's so hard to tell you things! I take it back.

Topics: Love You, Nuts, Feelings, Wrenches, Personal Feelings

I'm in a Road Runner cartoon, Sinclair. And I'm the coyote.

source: - MaryJanice Davidson (2011). “Undead and Undermined: A Queen Betsy Novel”, p.74, Penguin

Topics: Cartoon, Coyotes