Billy Crystal quotes

  • Change is such hard work.
    -- Billy Crystal

    #Change #Hard Work

  • I always was a performer, from the time I was little. It was always a natural place for me to be.
    -- Billy Crystal

    #Littles #Natural #Performers

  • For almost 40 years, he was the brightest star in the comedy galaxy… The beautiful light will continue to shine on us forever and the glow will be so bright, it’ll warm your heart, it’ll make your eyes glisten, and you’ll think to yourselves, Robin Williams, what a concept.
    -- Billy Crystal

    #Beautiful #Stars #Heart

  • There's only, I think, in life, three things that I do pretty well: Performing, I still can field ground balls, and I make nice kids.
    -- Billy Crystal

    #Nice #Kids #Thinking

  • In high school, I was the class comedian as opposed to the class clown. The difference is the class clown is the guy who drops his pants at the football game, the class comedian is the guy who talked him into it.
    -- Billy Crystal

    #Football #School #Games

  • I was always drawn to performing, but I never thought I could. I have no idea what I wanted to do outside of the old cowboy-or-fireman. When I was in college, I got serious about acting. I started examining history and then everything related to the theater. History, art, all the other studies, if I could link them into the theater, then it became alive for me. It just opened up my eyes.
    -- Billy Crystal

    #Art #Eye #College

  • Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.
    -- Billy Crystal

    #Sex #Being Single #Men

  • I quit drinking. That was a big problem for a lot of years. Then after that, I just started feeling grateful again.
    -- Billy Crystal

    #Grateful #Drinking #Years

  • Consider the rose...The rose is the sweetest smelling flower of all, and it's the most beautiful because it's the most simple, right? But sometimes, you got to clip the rose. You got to cut the rose back, so something sweeter smelling and stronger, and even more beautiful, will grow in its place
    -- Billy Crystal

    #Beautiful #Flower #Cutting

  • To be good, you need to believe in what you're doing.
    -- Billy Crystal

    #Believe #Needs #Be Good

  • Nothing can take the sting out of the world’s economic problems like watching millionaires present each other with golden statues.
    -- Billy Crystal

    #World #Golden #Problem

  • At 60, I could do the same things I could do at 30, if I could only remember what those things are.
    -- Billy Crystal

    #Remember

  • It's money. I remember it from when I was single
    -- Billy Crystal

    #Money #Remember

  • A laugh is a weird sound, and when you get a couple thousand people making it at once, it's really strange. But when I can feel proud of myself for causing it, it's great.
    -- Billy Crystal

    #Couple #People #Laughing

  • By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.
    -- Billy Crystal

    #Wise #Clever #Men

  • What's so fascinating and frustrating and great about life is that you're constantly starting over, all the time, and I love that.
    -- Billy Crystal

    #Starting Over #Life Is #Starting

  • That's the thing about jazz: it's free flowing, it comes from your soul.
    -- Billy Crystal

    #Soul #Comedy #Jazz

  • Gentlemen, start your egos.
    -- Billy Crystal

    #Ego #Gentleman

  • I don't like heights. This is why I stopped growing at fifth grade.
    -- Billy Crystal

    #Growing #Height #Fifth Grade

  • My mind is always going. I'm always thinking what I need to do, what I haven't done, what I did do, what I didn't do as well as I could - I'm relentless that way with myself.
    -- Billy Crystal

    #Thinking #Mind #Needs

  • I'm going to go on just living and laughing and loving.
    -- Billy Crystal

    #Laughing #Goes On

  • I didn't rebel as a child. I missed that angry teenager thing.
    -- Billy Crystal

    #Children #Teenager #Rebel

  • The Passion of the Christ opened up on Ash Wednesday, had a Good Friday.
    -- Billy Crystal

    #Friday #Passion #Ashes

  • I'm a baby. I sleep like a baby - I'm up every two hours. And I think a lot. I worry a lot. I have great nights of no sleep where ideas come.
    -- Billy Crystal

    #Baby #Sleep #Night

  • My grandparents invented joylessness. They were not fun. I've already had more fun with my grandchildren than my grandparents ever had with me.
    -- Billy Crystal

    #Fun #Grandchildren #Grandparent

  • Even when I was in school shows, in elementary school doing plays, I'd always go off book and start improvising.
    -- Billy Crystal

    #Book #School #Play

  • Well, the way things are going, aside from wheat and auto parts, America's biggest export is now the Oscar.
    -- Billy Crystal

    #Funny #Humorous #America

  • I'm going to be your grandpa! / I have the biggest smile. / I've been waiting to meet you for such a long, long while.
    -- Billy Crystal

    #Long #Grandpa #Grandparent

  • You give up your dream, you give up.
    -- Billy Crystal

    #Dream #Giving Up #Giving

  • If you do something for the first time, you will always remember it. If your Dad has something to do with it, you write about it.
    -- Billy Crystal

    #Respect #Dad #Writing

  • When comedy is good, it's jazz. The beats of it, the looseness, the improvisational part, the music-the way you hit the inflection, the high notes of a joke. It's all melody to me.
    -- Billy Crystal

    #Art #Way #Comedy

  • My granddaughter's birth has made me want to create things she will love.
    -- Billy Crystal

    #Granddaughter #Want #Birth

  • Whoo-hoo-hoo, look who knows so much. It just so happens that your friend here is only MOSTLY dead. There's a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. Mostly dead is slightly alive. With all dead, well, with all dead there's usually only one thing you can do. Go through his clothes and look for loose change.
    -- Billy Crystal

    #Differences #Clothes #Looks

  • Two thousand years ago Jesus is crucified, three days later he walks out of a cave and they celebrate with chocolate bunnies and marshmallow Peeps and beautifully decorated eggs. I guess these were things Jesus loved as a child.
    -- Billy Crystal

    #Jesus #Children #Years

  • I think when I feel I'm at my best is when I'm on stage, and it's my version of jazz because it's just riffing or something.
    -- Billy Crystal

    #Thinking #Comedy #Jazz

  • I was a film-directing major at NYU. I'm still not sure why I became a directing major, when I was really an actor and a comedian, but there was something that drew me to doing that.
    -- Billy Crystal

    #Nyu #Comedian #Actors

  • Kids need a happy household. They need to be loved and supported in their dreams. And I don't think you can make your kids' dreams your own. They need you to support them in their dreams.
    -- Billy Crystal

    #Dream #Kids #Thinking

  • You have to really respect what your kids are doing with their kids and how they're raising them. You can't push your way into areas where you shouldn't be saying anything. You have to always remember they're not your own kids. Play with them, love them, spoil them to death - then hand them back.
    -- Billy Crystal

    #Kids #Hands #Play

  • Don't give up your power.
    -- Billy Crystal

    #Giving Up #Power

  • I used to limp around my neighborhood imitating him. I did my Bar Mitzvah with an Oklahoma drawl.
    -- Billy Crystal

    #Baseball #Oklahoma #Mitzvah

  • You really have to have some muscle to be on the stage in front of the world.
    -- Billy Crystal

    #World #Stage #Muscles

  • Dad had a music store, and he'd often bring home comedy albums that I would listen to. I started listening to Bob Newhart and Bill Cosby, and developing taste. They really influenced my style of comedy.
    -- Billy Crystal

    #Dad #Home #Style

  • I'd like to think there is a Heaven, and it starts from the happiest day in your life.
    -- Billy Crystal

    #Thinking #Heaven

  • Good news, they found Nemo! The bad news is, they found him in one of Wolfgang Puck's puff pastries.
    -- Billy Crystal

    #Nemo #News #Puff

  • From the first time I saw Sid Caesar be funny I knew that's what I had to do.
    -- Billy Crystal

    #Sids #Saws #Firsts

  • I'm comfortable being old... being black... being Jewish.
    -- Billy Crystal

    #Black

  • Nobody is more truthful when he's acting than De Niro.
    -- Billy Crystal

    #Acting #Truthful #De Niro

  • It is better to look good than to feel good.
    -- Billy Crystal

    #Feel Good #Looks #Feels

  • I think I've far exceeded what I ever thought I could possibly do. I'm almost shocked that I'm still around after all of these years . . . and always grateful that I get another turn to do something.
    -- Billy Crystal

    #Grateful #Thinking #Years

  • I've always thought that the key to a good sex life is variety. That's why God gave me two hands. Humans love sex, we need sex, it's how we connect, it reminds us we're alive, it's the third most basic human need, after food and good movie popcorn.
    -- Billy Crystal

    #Sex #Keys #Hands

  • Bambi, to a kid, was scary.
    -- Billy Crystal

    #Kids #Scary

  • I can't be funny if my feet don't feel right.
    -- Billy Crystal

    #Feet #Humour #Feels Right

  • Despite what The Wall Street Journal says, our awards are the best-kept secret in America, with the possible exception of what George W. Bush did in the '70s.
    -- Billy Crystal

    #Wall #America #Awards