Craig Benzine quotes
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“Cars and bumper cars are two very different things. NEVER sleep in a bumper car.”
-- Craig Benzine -
“I'd choose truth over cake but I'd try to find a way to get both to be honest.”
-- Craig Benzine -
“Bird Poop in the mouth is always a surprise.”
-- Craig Benzine -
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“Always go to the bathroom before you ‘go’ to the bathroom.”
-- Craig Benzine -
“Things that don't exist do exist. They're just really fast.”
-- Craig Benzine -
“Based on this one experience I had, jumping to conclusions is always really stupid.”
-- Craig Benzine -
“Don’t put clothes on food. It’s supposed to be naked.”
-- Craig Benzine -
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“Theres nothing to fear but fears themselves, such as monsters, rejection, food poisoning, redundancy, monsters, and oxford commas.”
-- Craig Benzine -
“Everything is optional. Somethings are illegal. And some things are really gross.”
-- Craig Benzine -
“It's better to have won & lost than to have won, stopped trying, & descended into alcoholism.”
-- Craig Benzine -
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“Nothing is perfect. Therefore, being perfect is being nothing… and that's a great way to lose weight.”
-- Craig Benzine -
“Blanket statements are always stupid. NO EXCEPTIONS!”
-- Craig Benzine -
“The good thing about living like me is everywhere you go is a step up.”
-- Craig Benzine -
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“The only good excuse for not succeeding is DEATH! Unless you're trying to be a ghost. Then it's LIFE!”
-- Craig Benzine -
“The grass is always greener when it's covered in money.”
-- Craig Benzine -
“Be cautious of bears at all times, even when being mauled by a tiger.”
-- Craig Benzine -
“It's better to have a broken CD player that worked once than to never have evolved into a self-aware carbon based lifeform.”
-- Craig Benzine -
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“Visiting Saturn sounds like a lot of fun but you will die!”
-- Craig Benzine -
“Are imperfections is which make we grate.”
-- Craig Benzine -
“People alive are better than people not alive.”
-- Craig Benzine -
“I would hate to be a bee. Be surrounded by bees all the time.”
-- Craig Benzine -
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“Failure is not an option. It just happens all the time. Like, all the time.”
-- Craig Benzine -
“Never put a foot down in the middle of a foot rub.”
-- Craig Benzine -
“At one time or another, farts have coincided with every other sound, including this quote.”
-- Craig Benzine -
“If you're gonna lob something, lob love.”
-- Craig Benzine -
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“Dont get scared of death. Get rich! Then die.”
-- Craig Benzine
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