Jay Mohr famous quotes

06-24-2025

What bothers me most about today is that we're getting used 2 it. ENOUGH. 2nd amendment must go. Violence has 2 stop. Culture MUST change.
-- Jay Mohr

#Gun #Violence #Culture
You know how to tell if the teacher is hung over? Movie Day.
-- Jay Mohr

#Movie #Teacher #Hung
She's Cherokee Indian, which is great 'cause whenever we have sex, it rains.
-- Jay Mohr

#Sex #Rain #Causes
I think golf is a waste of time and a waste of a sunny afternoon. I also stink at it. I have never found anything, including divorce and a sexual harassment suit, more frustrating.
-- Jay Mohr

#Divorce #Golf #Thinking
Not everyone likes sports. Gandhi and Malcolm X come to mind.
-- Jay Mohr

#Sports #Mind #Likes
I think I made a mistake once... yeah... it was only once.
-- Jay Mohr

#Mistake #Thinking #Yeah
But if applause throws off your timing, then you're not the kind of comedian I would like to see. All you have to do is stand there and take it.
-- Jay Mohr

#Comedian #Timing #Kind
I was the youngest kid on my street, the youngest comic in the clubs. I always felt like I was playing catch-up. I was very angry.
-- Jay Mohr

#Kids #Clubs #Comic
I wasn't the guy everyone liked. I was the guy that wouldn't shut up.
-- Jay Mohr

#Guy #Shut Up
I'm oddly not competitive. What I love about show business is there is a home for everyone.
-- Jay Mohr

#Home #Shows #Show Business
When human beings stop progressing at an endeavor, they stop enjoying it and move on to something else. Not golfers. Masochists, all of them.
-- Jay Mohr

#Moving #Progress #Golfers
Why are baseball managers the only coaches who dress up like the players?
-- Jay Mohr

#Baseball #Player #Dresses
True Yankees are born, not made.
-- Jay Mohr

#Yankees #Born #Made
Unfortunately, there are no mulligans when it comes to pro football contracts.
-- Jay Mohr

#Football #Mulligans #Contracts
If it has to sell its mascot, your team sucks.
-- Jay Mohr

#Team #Mascots
If it doesn't know what to charge you for nosebleed seats, your team sucks.
-- Jay Mohr

#Team #Nosebleeds
I wonder why there is a designated hitter in baseball after all these years? As an experiment, it seemed like a swell enough idea, but you would think the novelty would have worn off by now and everyone would get back to playing baseball.
-- Jay Mohr

#Baseball #Thinking #Years
I hate golf. I do not understand how anyone can enjoy it, much less love it.
-- Jay Mohr

#Hate #Golf #I Hate
I never minded George Steinbrenner spending obscene amounts of money to put the best product on the field.
-- Jay Mohr

#Fields #Spending #Obscene
Fantasy football is not only a good thing, but a great thing.
-- Jay Mohr

#Football #Fantasy #Good Things
Marc Maron's podcast success has nothing to do with my podcast success. If I do a quarter of a million downloads, I can show that to an advertiser as a fact, and that's that.
-- Jay Mohr

#Facts #Quarters #Shows

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