Chris Ramsey quotes

“To be a comedian: Make peace with the fact that you will never be as funny as a baby falling over.”
-- Chris Ramsey

Source : Source: in.askmen.com

#Baby Quotes #Fall Quotes #Comedian Quotes

“To be a dad: Make peace with the fact that you will now be your partner's second favourite person in the world.”
-- Chris Ramsey

Source : Source: in.askmen.com

#Dad Quotes #World Quotes #Favourite Quotes

“Most surprising is probably that I thought I had experienced most of the low points life has to offer... but you reach new lows when you are hungover changing a nappy and throw up into it.”
-- Chris Ramsey

Source : Source: in.askmen.com

# Quotes

“If I had to pick one scariest thing bout becoming a father, I'd say... the whole thing! From the moment you find out, all the way through the pregnancy, the birth, a new level of fear and horror as a helpless, on-looking bloke and even then when they are out and running about in the world, the fear never ends. It's constant worry, and 'am I doing this right?' and 'why is he making that noise?' and 'has anyone ever died from eating ham?'. It's non-stop.”
-- Chris Ramsey

Source : Source: in.askmen.com

#Running Quotes #Father Quotes #Pregnancy Quotes

“The biggest myth about fatherhood that you get given a direct phone number to talk to Santa and tell him how your kid has been behaving. Absolute bullshit. I got an email address and it's just giving me an out of office reply.”
-- Chris Ramsey

Source : Source: in.askmen.com

#Kids Quotes #Giving Quotes #Bullshit Quotes

“If you want something to play with go find yourself a toy, baby, my time is too expensive and I'm not a little boy.”

“Sometimes you can gradually improve things. But sometimes, they don't work, and you've just got to just say: Let's grind this baby to a halt.”

“I am absolutely a Giants fan and I'm a Dynasty baby so I was a 49ers fan for a long time.”

“If in any divination the Tenth Card should be a Court Card, it shews that the subject of the divination falls ultimately into the hands of a person represented by that card, and its end depends mainly on him.”

Source : A. E. Waite (2012). “The Pictorial Key to the Tarot”, p.208, Courier Corporation

“The pattern of a newspaperman's life is like the plot of 'Black Beauty.' Sometimes he finds a kind master who gives him a dry stall and an occasional bran mash in the form of a Christmas bonus, sometimes he falls into the hands of a mean owner who drives him in spite of spavins and expects him to live on potato peelings.”

“Certainly, last year we did an episode about the census and sampling versus a direct statistic. You just said the word 'census,' and people fall asleep.”

“I'm a comedian, not a politician.”

“No, I had not read any other comedian's book. Not that I don't enjoy other comedians; I'm just not a reader.”

“The optimum frequency with which comedians should do a series is every year. I do one every three years. My audience is literally dying off.”

“It was important to me to be cool as a comedian. I didn't want to be a crowd-pleaser who sent out the vibe of, "I need you guys." I wanted to be so cool that the audience could leave and I would still be killing, that I didn't want to have to rely on them or need them. That really appealed to me.”